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Old 01-02-2016, 07:36 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
15,612 posts, read 9,671,076 times
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I guess what I was trying to say is that, even though I was (and still am)very tight with my Sons, Mom was a little softer and more sympathetic with them. Moms just have that special touch, and I have to give my ex credit for teaching my Sons a lot of things I would have overlooked. She taught them some very good lessons that only a Mom can.

Don
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Old 01-02-2016, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Texas
598 posts, read 476,256 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
I think women are a little better equipped to nurture and raise a child than men. I am the Father of twins, now grown, and was always right there every step of the way all through their lives. I cared for them while my then wife, and RN, worked night shift, and spent many days with them while Mom caught some sleep. But she had a special touch with them that only Moms can have. It is a softer, more understanding side, and children need that warmth and feminine touch.

I remember, when I was growing up, that it was always Mom I could run to when I needed help, even though my Dad was a good Father. She just was more understanding and patient .

That doesn't mean a Father isn't very important to a child's development, just that Mothers have a different, special bond with their children.

Don
Better equipped how? Nurture just means to care for or foster growth. How was she better equipped just because she was a female? Could it be that she was better than you because she is an RN? A man is more than capable to nurture their children. Just because they might do it differently doesn't mean he is not as equipped as a woman. As a matter of fact, I think women are partly to blame. We "hover" over our husbands when they are caring for the baby and "correct" them when they aren't doing something right, i.e., our way.

If you sit with a bunch of moms and listen in on a discussion they are having regarding the first few weeks or even months with their 1st child, you will hear from the majority of them describing how clueless they were when they brought their newborn home. If you go to any parenting site like babycenter.com, you will read thousands of posts from moms asking basic questions about infant care.
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:28 AM
 
9,707 posts, read 7,654,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
I think you are right, actually. I'm not saying you can't take excellent care of your child, or that many men don't. But I do think women are biologically and emotionally more inclined than men - for example, when my baby cried, it made me want to cry, and it was so intolerable that I just couldn't NOT go to him. My husband was completely unaffected. Not that he wouldn't help, just that he didn't feel compelled to by some weird instinct. I also found my child so irresistibly adorable that I just couldn't get angry or irritated with him, no matter how much of a pain he was during his first few years of life. My husband had no problem getting irritated and seems immune to cuteness in general. I just think we are programmed for this - there's a reason girls are so into cute things, while boys are not, and why girls like to play with dolls and boys do not (and it's not just marketing). But you can't use it as a cop out not to take care of your child - you can do just as well in a dad kind of way.
But boys DO play with dolls, and enjoy it, too, given the opportunity. For that matter, GI Joe and his buddies are dolls - they're just termed "action figures" for the market. Toy soldiers and other small model humanoid figures can also be termed dolls, and the imaginative play they engender is very similar to doll play among little girls beyond the "mommy and baby" stage: like the "action figures", dolls are used to act out imaginative scenarios, something very good for a child's creative skills.

So how does this relate to fathering skills? Forget the gender issues, guys - spend time with your little ones, be they boys or girls, and enjoy them. Play with them, make them giggle, teach them, read to them, make up stories and tell them, play simple games with them (hide and seek, tag (let them win occasionally), toss a ball around - any kind of ball - , sing to them, toss them in the air, hug them - love them.

If you are uncertain of your parenting skills or just don't "get" little kids, read some books on child development, so you'll understand better what makes little ones tick and how to relate to them. Be patient. Be tolerant (to a point). Learn the fine art of distracting a cranky kid, and the benefits of keeping a reasonable schedule for meals, naps, and bedtime (occasional lapses will do little harm; regular lapses are unadvisable).

Enjoy these years -- they are fleeting and will not return.
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:32 AM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,233,640 times
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Yes, it is sexist and ignorant. I have a general rule, not just with this, but anything. If you replaced the word girl/women with black person, would it be racist? If the answer is "yes," then it's sexist.
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:35 AM
 
2,442 posts, read 1,798,826 times
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Statements like this discount the enormous amount of learning which happens in order to parent. Women get a leg up from their hormones and the nursing, but it's the choice of the other parent to either step and and make the effort to learn alongside them or to take a back seat and be the distant, fumbling parent you see in a 50s TV show.
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Central IL
13,379 posts, read 7,140,948 times
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It really doesn't matter if, statistically, women are "better" than men or not.

The fact is, people do all kinds of stuff all the time that they aren't great at, aren't good at, aren't the best at! But it has to be done, so they do it!...Silly argument meant to get guys off the hook. JUST DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!

Who are better drivers - men or women? Does it matter? - if you need to get somewhere, YOU DRIVE - you don't wait for a member of the "best" sex at driving to come and get you.
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
7,867 posts, read 6,819,268 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
Yes, it is sexist and ignorant. I have a general rule, not just with this, but anything. If you replaced the word girl/women with black person, would it be racist? If the answer is "yes," then it's sexist.
Im offended.

Ridiculous. Pc police out today.

For what it's worth, here are of course some awful, cold, cruel mothers. And awful, cold, cruel fathers. People are different.
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Old 01-02-2016, 11:23 AM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,233,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
I guess what I was trying to say is that, even though I was (and still am)very tight with my Sons, Mom was a little softer and more sympathetic with them. Moms just have that special touch, and I have to give my ex credit for teaching my Sons a lot of things I would have overlooked. She taught them some very good lessons that only a Mom can.

Don
All that means is it was the case with THAT one, particular person. The minute you make a blanket statement about all women, it becomes sexist. No different than if I said my dad was a buffoon who was too stupid to figure out how to turn on the stove. So based on my experience, all dad's are incompetent.
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Old 01-02-2016, 11:24 AM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,233,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bjimmy24 View Post
Im offended.

Ridiculous. Pc police out today.

For what it's worth, here are of course some awful, cold, cruel mothers. And awful, cold, cruel fathers. People are different.
Agreed. People are different. That's exactly why it's wrong to make generalizations about them based on gender, race, etc.
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Old 01-02-2016, 11:26 AM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,233,640 times
Reputation: 7826
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
It really doesn't matter if, statistically, women are "better" than men or not.

The fact is, people do all kinds of stuff all the time that they aren't great at, aren't good at, aren't the best at! But it has to be done, so they do it!...Silly argument meant to get guys off the hook. JUST DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE!

Who are better drivers - men or women? Does it matter? - if you need to get somewhere, YOU DRIVE - you don't wait for a member of the "best" sex at driving to come and get you.
Thank God, considering that women are statistically better drivers than men. I don't have time to drive my husband, brother, and dad everywhere.
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