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Old 01-02-2016, 03:27 AM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
6,728 posts, read 11,760,786 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
The date with dad concept kind of reminds me of the daddy-daughter dances and purity rings and that sort of thing. I think that's what makes it seem a little odd to those of us who aren't into that.
EXACTLY -- this is the first thing I thought of when I read the OP.

Last year in one of my classes we watched a Dateline video on "purity balls," and most of my students found it very, very creepy (even the really religious students). It was all about the daughters "pledging their virginity" and making promises to their dads to "save themselves," "dating" their dads at the ball, etc. Of course there was NOTHING comparable for the sons, not with their mom OR dad (g-d forbid any gay implications), as if "purity" were all up to the girls.
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Old 01-02-2016, 06:03 AM
 
Location: here
24,473 posts, read 28,761,114 times
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"Date" is just a word. All it is is a parent spending time with their kid. I've seen father-daughter, and mother-son.
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Old 01-02-2016, 07:38 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
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I remember that video. I thought it was creepy as well. We have one on one time with the kids on purpose. We usually call it "mommy/buddy time" or "daddy/daughter time" but I am not opposed totally to the word "date". We have play dates, and that isn't "romantic". I think it gets weird when you put the romantic, dressing up, making it ... Date-like is weird.
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Old 01-02-2016, 08:28 AM
 
17,168 posts, read 22,199,672 times
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a father teaching a daughter that a boy should never disrespect her---- oh!! the horror!!


a father telling his daughter to respect herself more than what she sees on tv/movies/music lyrics/internet, oh!! again with the horrors!!
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Old 01-02-2016, 09:18 AM
 
13,021 posts, read 12,464,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
a father teaching a daughter that a boy should never disrespect her---- oh!! the horror!!


a father telling his daughter to respect herself more than what she sees on tv/movies/music lyrics/internet, oh!! again with the horrors!!
I'm not sure why those things can't be conveyed without young children going on "dates" with their parents that are designed to look like romantic dates that they will be having with partners in the future.

Treat other people with respect and courtesy, especially the other parent of your child. If you model kind and considerate behavior, there's no need to romance your own child.
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Old 01-02-2016, 09:39 AM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,969,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I'm not sure why those things can't be conveyed without young children going on "dates" with their parents that are designed to look like romantic dates that they will be having with partners in the future.

Treat other people with respect and courtesy, especially the other parent of your child. If you model kind and considerate behavior, there's no need to romance your own child.
Agree. Children learn from watching their parents interact with each other. Not from being put in the other parent's position. That's no place for a child to be.

If a girl grows up seeing her dad verbally abuse and disrespect her mother, then she learns how what to expect from all men. If she sees her dad treating her mom in a loving and caring way, then she learns that too. It doesn't take a romantic "date" with her dad to teach her this.

If a parent wants to spend one on one time with their child, they can do so without the "dating" aspect. You don't "date" your child. That's just disturbing. A dad can make it a normal habit to open the door for his daughter or whatever other gentlemanly gestures he chooses. A mother can teach her son the same without dating him. I've seen the facebook post of the little boy digging money out his wallet that he earned doing chores, to pay for his mother's dinner. That's nuts. Teaching your son to be a respectful young man is one thing, but you are still his mother and he is still your son. Parents feed their children, not the other way around. Staying in your proper role as a parent makes a lot more sense than going on "dates" with your own kid.
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Old 01-02-2016, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,019 posts, read 98,876,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
The date with dad concept kind of reminds me of the daddy-daughter dances and purity rings and that sort of thing. I think that's what makes it seem a little odd to those of us who aren't into that.
I don't put father-daughter dances and purity rings in the same box. My daughter's girl scout troop did several father-daughter Valentine's events and the girls LOVED them! Those w/o fathers in the picture could bring an uncle or someone else. At the end of the year, they'd always say it was their favorite activity. Of course, the moms slogged along to all these camp-outs, etc and took the kids everywhere, and the kids didn't attach any significance to that! That's kids!
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,102 posts, read 3,070,689 times
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I think people are putting too much emphasis on the word "date," to be honest. It's just an outing.
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,130,514 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
I think people are putting too much emphasis on the word "date," to be honest. It's just an outing.
In general this. We don't associate other uses of this word with romance: "play date", "lunch date" etc. A "date" often simply means a scheduled activity.

That said, I remember the video to which the OP is referring. It was a bit ....unusual. I don't recall every detail but I could see it veering over the inevitable and into "creepy".
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Old 01-02-2016, 10:21 AM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,969,373 times
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What I saw described was a woman who made her son, about age 6, take her son on an actual date specifically to show him how he is supposed to treat a woman on a future romantic date. This wasn't a "play date" or a "mommy/son date" it was specifically to instruct him on how to actually date a woman, down to paying for the meal with his own money. That's different from a "lunch date" or any other casual date.

I call some of my own outings with my dd "dates" but I wouldn't get all dressed and perfumed up like I was going out with a man, and expect to be escorted and catered to by my own child. That's where it crosses over into strange. We teach our kids how to treat others and be treated in our every day interactions. I hardly think that mother needs to model a romantic date with her son to teach him how to date girls in the future.
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