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Old 01-02-2016, 02:51 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
Reputation: 31039

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
I think people are putting too much emphasis on the word "date," to be honest. It's just an outing.
Agree

Quote:
Originally Posted by WildColonialGirl View Post
It is not the father's role to teach his daughter how to flirt. The end.
Who is doing that???
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Old 01-02-2016, 02:52 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,967,663 times
Reputation: 5475
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
I agree. It's weird. It's not necessary.

Parents should model good behavior and the kids will learn. Every family should treat individual members with respect, dignity, empathy, and compassion. Dating shouldn't be the end-goal. How about teaching them how to be kind, considerate, respectful humans to ALL? How about teaching them they to be okay alone?

As far as time with a parent, that should be happening in ordinary day-to-day life. Example: one child watches football game with dad every single time a game is on. Another son helps me cook dinner every night. Things like that. If these ordinary, daily interactions aren't happening that's a bigger problem.

Date nights should be reserved for the 2 adults in the family. Families are too child-centric as it is.

I just don't see the need to formally arrange something that should be happening organically.

Also, the Facebook woman with the 6 year old son had her own issues. In the post I saw, she said she was teaching him how to treat women because she had been abused by men. Wow. Lady, your 6 year old cannot help you. Talk about a burden. Jeez. I'm going to come out and say it, she should have a father-figure in that boy's life to model respectful behavior. So many other thoughts, but I'll leave it at that.




I saw that and was going to comment on it, but that's a MUCH deeper issue than what's being discussed here and I didn't know if I should even go into it. You NEVER put adult burdens on a child's shoulders. The lady was abused by men, it's not her little boy's job to make up for that. He should be spending quality time with his mommy as her SON, not her man. Being taught basic respect, compassion, manners, and empathy in normal everyday life should be enough for him to grow up to be a decent young man who doesn't beat or abuse women. Not emptying his little piggy bank to take his mom on a date, because she never got to experience what "dating" should be like.

And what does that really do anyway? Any sociopath knows how to be charming and sweet, open doors, pull out chairs, pay for meals. The real lesson this woman is attempting to give is not something to be learned by teaching your son to "date." Every adult in his life, every role model, every interaction he sees and experiences is how he learns to be a good and decent human being.

That woman could use some help dealing with her issues. Her son is 6. In no way should he be making up for or paying the price for her own failed relationships. He should be being a little 6 year old, nothing else.
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Old 01-02-2016, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,874 posts, read 12,921,392 times
Reputation: 28957
Absolutely weird. Kids learn how to treat the opposite sex from WATCHING how their Mom and Dad interact. If Mom treats Dad with kindness, respect, and caring, and Dad treats Mom like an equal partner who deserves his time and attention and they BOTH practice good manners with each other, as well as the public kids don't need training in how to date.
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Old 01-02-2016, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,874 posts, read 12,921,392 times
Reputation: 28957
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
[/b]

I saw that and was going to comment on it, but that's a MUCH deeper issue than what's being discussed here and I didn't know if I should even go into it. You NEVER put adult burdens on a child's shoulders. The lady was abused by men, it's not her little boy's job to make up for that. He should be spending quality time with his mommy as her SON, not her man. Being taught basic respect, compassion, manners, and empathy in normal everyday life should be enough for him to grow up to be a decent young man who doesn't beat or abuse women. Not emptying his little piggy bank to take his mom on a date, because she never got to experience what "dating" should be like.

And what does that really do anyway? Any sociopath knows how to be charming and sweet, open doors, pull out chairs, pay for meals. The real lesson this woman is attempting to give is not something to be learned by teaching your son to "date." Every adult in his life, every role model, every interaction he sees and experiences is how he learns to be a good and decent human being.

That woman could use some help dealing with her issues. Her son is 6. In no way should he be making up for or paying the price for her own failed relationships. He should be being a little 6 year old, nothing else.

Good points. The "affluenza kid" who killed and maimed many in a drunk driving wreck he caused has been in the news lot lately. He had a similar upbringing. His rich father dumped his mother because she was a pill addict and his mother began treating her only child as if he was her partner in life. It is said that he even slept in a single bed she put in her bedroom for him because she was "afraid" to be alone at night. So now he goes on the lam because he was violating his parole and who's driving the get-away car? Mommy.
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Old 01-02-2016, 03:41 PM
 
Location: STL area
726 posts, read 355,509 times
Reputation: 1575
Well, if you are including getting dolled up and teaching a kid how to have a romantic relationship with the opposite sex...that is creepy.

But calling one on one time a date in the casual sense of the word (like a lunch date with a friend or coworker)...totally normal. We do that all the time and yeah, use the word date...but for both: Dad/son date Mom/son date. I'm the only girl in this house except the dogs.
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Old 01-02-2016, 03:42 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,572 posts, read 21,756,199 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
So a while back there was this video going around about a guy nervously preparing for a date. And the date turned out to be with his daughter who looked to be in kindergarten. The idea was that going on "dates" with daddy would teach his daughter how to behave when she was dating for real and what she should expect from any guy she went out with in terms of respectful treatment.

A friend recently posted on facebook about doing something similar with her son.

I'm not a parent, so maybe I don't get it, but... yeah, I just don't get it.

And my dad and I are were really close when I was growing up. We're STILL close.

I just think there's a lot about this that could backfire or just put a weirdness in the parent-child relationship, or I just don't know... It just seems WEIRD to me.

And I just kind of feel like if you're modeling good behavior in general and demonstrating in your everyday life how you should treat people, your kid is going to understand.

Just looking for some perspectives on this.

I think it is very, very strange.

Kind of like that creepy "demo kiss" that the Duggars gave in front of their children or those "chastity rings" that are popular in some circles.

Normal fathers do not want to go on "test drive dates" with their daughters. My 84 year old father of 3 daughters would agree.

The best fathers model the treatment of women by how they treat their daughter's mother.

Going out for an ice cream Sundae with your father is normal. When you call it a "date with Daddy" a line has been crossed.
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Old 01-02-2016, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,002 posts, read 1,257,728 times
Reputation: 3664
I agree. It's very nice for a parent and their opposite-sex child to spend one-on-one time together (each person's sex is technically irrelevant, save for using separate locker rooms if going swimming), but it's very weird to call it a "date". I'm sure if it were called an "outing" or something similar, this thread and the associated weirdness wouldn't be there in the first place.
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Old 01-02-2016, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,792,833 times
Reputation: 14677
The definition of "date" - a social or romantic appointment or engagement.

I get really annoyed when adults sexualize everything, even spending innocent quality time with their child, that's sick.
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Old 01-02-2016, 05:00 PM
 
1,575 posts, read 1,424,731 times
Reputation: 3754
It's the idea that it's practice for romantic dating that's the problem. And although the word "date" is sometimes used to describe a platonic social engagement, I don't think you'll often hear of a young man saying he has a date with his dad. He'll say he's going with his dad to wherever or meeting up with his dad for whatever.
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Old 01-02-2016, 05:36 PM
 
2,738 posts, read 1,213,856 times
Reputation: 2089
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
So a while back there was this video going around about a guy nervously preparing for a date. And the date turned out to be with his daughter who looked to be in kindergarten. The idea was that going on "dates" with daddy would teach his daughter how to behave when she was dating for real and what she should expect from any guy she went out with in terms of respectful treatment.

A friend recently posted on facebook about doing something similar with her son.

I'm not a parent, so maybe I don't get it, but... yeah, I just don't get it.

And my dad and I are were really close when I was growing up. We're STILL close.

I just think there's a lot about this that could backfire or just put a weirdness in the parent-child relationship, or I just don't know... It just seems WEIRD to me.

And I just kind of feel like if you're modeling good behavior in general and demonstrating in your everyday life how you should treat people, your kid is going to understand.

Just looking for some perspectives on this.
In Kindergarden I would teach her how to stay away from aswholes and not how to date.
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