U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-13-2016, 09:02 AM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,187,771 times
Reputation: 19646

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by localscout View Post
For those who do not understand why some of us find this creepy:

1. You do not need to simulate a dating experience in order to teach your child how to behave on one.

2. These things can easily be taught to your child by talking to them and explaining it to them.

3. Some of these people do this on a regular basis. Dating is not rocket science. It's creepy to continuously date your child to "teach" them how to behave. Once should be enough.

4. These are not typical family outings. Some of you are comparing it to simply hanging out or having dinner. But these things are clearly set up to simulate a dating experience. Stop making it seem like it's typical family bonding, but with the word "date" attached to it. It's not.

5. The whole thing contradicts itself. Having platonic "date" with your parents is not going to teach you everything about going on an actual romantic date. On an actual date there may be flirtation, physical contact, kissing, etc. Having a pretend date with mommy and daddy won't prepare you for that.
Holy over reacting.

When we have one of our girls nights out, we frequently call it a date. Yet, we are not dating. My mother and I go on lunch dates, every other weekend or so. I have heard her call it a "date with my daughter" when she tells her friends she is busy. Strangely no one seems to think that is creepy. Why it is suddenly gross when it is a Dad and a daughter says far more about your mindset than the fathers.

The word "date" can just signify an important meeting and is not necessarily romantic at all, especially for kids who rarely go on traditional "dates" anyway.

How about you stop assigning motives to people you don't even know? And if parent/child "dates" creep you out, don't go on one. Easy. But pretending these parents have ulterior motives is just gross on your part.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-13-2016, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,005 posts, read 98,863,560 times
Reputation: 31446
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Holy over reacting.

When we have one of our girls nights out, we frequently call it a date. Yet, we are not dating. My mother and I go on lunch dates, every other weekend or so. I have heard her call it a "date with my daughter" when she tells her friends she is busy. Strangely no one seems to think that is creepy. Why it is suddenly gross when it is a Dad and a daughter says far more about your mindset than the fathers.

The word "date" can just signify an important meeting and is not necessarily romantic at all, especially for kids who rarely go on traditional "dates" anyway.

How about you stop assigning motives to people you don't even know? And if parent/child "dates" creep you out, don't go on one. Easy. But pretending these parents have ulterior motives is just gross on your part.
Yes, I agree!

I do not have sons, but my friends who do talk about how fun it is to go "out" with their sons. And yes, kids do learn how to relate to the opposite sex by interacting with their opposite sex parent, or other related adult (aunt, uncle, etc). That is among other ways they learn it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:54 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,623,527 times
Reputation: 5534
Weird
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 10:54 AM
 
6 posts, read 2,793 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Holy over reacting.

When we have one of our girls nights out, we frequently call it a date. Yet, we are not dating. My mother and I go on lunch dates, every other weekend or so. I have heard her call it a "date with my daughter" when she tells her friends she is busy. Strangely no one seems to think that is creepy. Why it is suddenly gross when it is a Dad and a daughter says far more about your mindset than the fathers.

The word "date" can just signify an important meeting and is not necessarily romantic at all, especially for kids who rarely go on traditional "dates" anyway.

How about you stop assigning motives to people you don't even know? And if parent/child "dates" creep you out, don't go on one. Easy. But pretending these parents have ulterior motives is just gross on your part.
How about you stop making it seem like you know what their motives are? You don't know them either. Who's to say that some of these parents aren't projecting romantic or sexual feelings unto their kids?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 11:01 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
Reputation: 23714
My husband is out of the country for this Valentine's Day...and even though I get the dating thing is weird in some cases...I am making my kids my valentines (a day early because I don't want to go out tomorrow). I gave them a stuffed animal, Hershey kisses and a muffin. Going to take them to a movie and to their favorite place for dinner. I don't know, this doesn't feel creepy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 01:29 PM
 
6 posts, read 2,793 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
My husband is out of the country for this Valentine's Day...and even though I get the dating thing is weird in some cases...I am making my kids my valentines (a day early because I don't want to go out tomorrow). I gave them a stuffed animal, Hershey kisses and a muffin. Going to take them to a movie and to their favorite place for dinner. I don't know, this doesn't feel creepy.
You're missing the point. These "dates" are set up like dates between two people who are interested in each other romantically. I don't see what people don't understand about that. What you described is not the same thing. I'm tired of trying to explain this, if anyone wants to discuss this with me further, please just PM me because I'm not coming to this thread anymore. It makes me dizzy with confusion.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 07:24 PM
 
84 posts, read 89,092 times
Reputation: 165
Ugh, this trend is creepy to no end. Is it normal as a parent to want to spend time with your child? Sure. It's weird when you start using that as a date or somehow instructional to their romantic life. I saw one the other day on facebook and the little girl was maybe 8 and had a ton of makeup on and it just was...weird. My husband has taken my girls out to eat, I have taken our sons - and we have never used that as a "date". They learn how to treat the opposite sex by watching how we model a relationship with each other, not by us projecting that onto them.

The really weird part - I work in a church, and the same people who are big into purity rings and abstinence are the first ones who are all into doing this, as young as possible and frequently. I'm sure most of them have their heart in the right place, but it just seems weird, especially if you want your child to put off dating as long as possible! Why would you start practicing so young?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-14-2016, 07:46 AM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,187,771 times
Reputation: 19646
Quote:
Originally Posted by localscout View Post
How about you stop making it seem like you know what their motives are? You don't know them either. Who's to say that some of these parents aren't projecting romantic or sexual feelings unto their kids?
Ew. You are actually claiming that any or most of these parents are actually trying to start a sexual relationship with their children? Really?

Father daughter formal dances have been going on ages, or at least since I was a kid. Dad would dress up, sometimes even buy a corsage, strangely hooking up in the car was not the point then and isn't now.

Geez, it must be awful to go through life thinking those whackadoodle thoughts you got going there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-14-2016, 07:49 AM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,187,771 times
Reputation: 19646
Quote:
Originally Posted by snadai View Post
Ugh, this trend is creepy to no end. Is it normal as a parent to want to spend time with your child? Sure. It's weird when you start using that as a date or somehow instructional to their romantic life. I saw one the other day on facebook and the little girl was maybe 8 and had a ton of makeup on and it just was...weird. My husband has taken my girls out to eat, I have taken our sons - and we have never used that as a "date". They learn how to treat the opposite sex by watching how we model a relationship with each other, not by us projecting that onto them.

The really weird part - I work in a church, and the same people who are big into purity rings and abstinence are the first ones who are all into doing this, as young as possible and frequently. I'm sure most of them have their heart in the right place, but it just seems weird, especially if you want your child to put off dating as long as possible! Why would you start practicing so young?
I don't go to church, I practice no religion, same for most of my friends, we will still call going out one on one with one of our kids "a date". My bestie just posted on Facebook about her "date" taking her daughter to get all dressed up and go see a show in New York city. Not weird and not tied to some purity ring.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-15-2016, 04:46 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,262 posts, read 49,809,717 times
Reputation: 67088
Geez, people.
We're talking about those weirdo things where the girl goes and gets a mani/pedi and gets all glammed up and her dad puts on a suit/tux and meets her as she comes down the stairs and they go off on their "date" with each other. And the whole thing is chronicled in pictures on facebook.

Seriously nutty. Seriously.

I spent TONS of time with my dad alone and with my mom alone and we went to special events or did road trips and none of it looked like two people getting ready for a date.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top