U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-02-2016, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,143 posts, read 22,112,687 times
Reputation: 35536

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP View Post

...... (blah blah blah..)....

to say: "you can be anything you want" is just ridiculous, because even though someone loves ballet they may not have the right body type for it.....

(....more blah blah blah)
2 words: Misty. Copeland.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-02-2016, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland
5,941 posts, read 2,494,832 times
Reputation: 5609
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
I think that SOME kids can do whatever they want to do. Sometimes a kid will want to be a doctor but can't handle the coursework or get into medical school. So a broken dream? Well, maybe they can be a med tech or something... But there needs to be a realistic match between skill/talent/intelligence and the vocation.

Also, just because you LOVE something doesn't mean you'll be able to make a good living at it. Photography is great, but not very high paying for the majority. So, if you can accept that you won't be making $100k, go for it! But don't whine that you followed your dream and you can't buy Chanel bags or a Ferrari!

If you want to do it bad enough, you can do it. If you quit something because you can't handle the work, its because you did not want it bad enough and where not "willing" to do what it takes to get there. Wanting to reach a goal is not magic. It takes the work that comes with it. Skill and Talent belongs to anyone who wants to do something bad enough. Its not ordained at Birth.


If you love something, you can make a living at it, if you apply what you love in the right way. Goes right back to "wanting" something bad enough and achieving it. That includes Photography, as an example you mentioned. There are thousands of different kind of Photographers out there, all doing different things. Once you have the Tools and the Knowledge, you figure out which direction your passion is in, and what income is available in that field, and where. Then you have the other Direction to keep going in. You can't stop, just because you have the tools and the knowledge, and expect life to build you a road to success for you. You can't get half way up the Mountain and , and then tell yourself that you can't get any further, when all you have to do is keep moving.


I am a firm believer that anyone can do anything, if they want to. Talent and Skill is a "Learned" Trait. Have proved it over and over, by trying different things people said was a Talent, and ended up doing it as well, and in most cases better, than the original example they used, from Art, to Technical things. It didn't matter, if I wanted to do it, I did it, and well. Anyone can, if they believe.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2016, 05:27 PM
 
83 posts, read 98,374 times
Reputation: 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP View Post
These days, since this thing with "women can do what men do" BS, which I am still not sure why it's so damn important because I have no desire to be president, mow the lawn, or do my own plumbing etc., kids are sent to school, then they go to after school, and are told they can be "anything they want to be when they grow up". I find that to be a VERY dismissive statement.
I stopped reading after this nonsense. Dear god, I hope you aren't procreating. :/

(Also - and I don't color myself a grammar nazi, but since you seem so keen on good home-grown education - your post thus far is rife with too many grammatical errors for me to take you seriously.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2016, 07:19 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,859 posts, read 3,715,230 times
Reputation: 15267
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boris347 View Post
Of course you can do anything you want,


if you want it bad enough, and can apply what you learn. Your forgetting the most important part of that equation. Just because you finally own the tools, you have to know how to apply them. If you "wanted" to build a house, you don't build the roof first, or bring over your furniture. There is a "start" point and there is a "finish" point, and work in between. And you certainly don't assume you can't because your not smart enough to be a Builder.


In life, you don't just fall off a Turnip Truck, and land in a puddle marked "Doctor" or "Lawyer" and become one after you dry off. You have to want it. My Heart Surgeon was a "Waterman" and made a living off Seafood, and one day decided he wanted to be a Heart Surgeon, and is now great one.


When Kids grow up, they will experiment and try different things, and some succeed, and some drift aimlessly, or fizzle out in a mediocre job, with no ambition to do anything else, or they don't believe, they can be anything else. That's why its up to the Parent to drill the reality in a Childs head, that they, Indeed" can do anything or be anything they want, if Physically able. If you kill that Mindset at an early age, you destroy ones motivation, and they assume that some things are not possible, so they quit trying.


Do you know of any Coaches that have told their Players, not to bother trying to be better, because they never will be? Stick to being a Coach, and don't try to be the "Planner" for your Kids Careers. They will figure it out with the "Tools" you give them. They don't need you to build it, or set limitations on their ability.
^^^excellent points here! I agree.

One of my sons had a dream job in a very difficult industry in his mind from about age 10. Very few people do what he does. But he told everyone he was going to do it. I supported his dream. I listened to him rant and rave about his very difficult classes and exams. I encouraged him. I congratulated him on his successes. And listened to him rant when an exam did not go as well as he expected. But....he is now working in the exact industry he wanted! And he loves it, and he is doing very well at it.

Now my youngest has a dream, and I will do everything I can to encourage him. I am his cheerleader and support. I've never told him he can't try to do what he is dreaming of. Others do it! So why couldn't he?

I've always always always encouraged them to do their very best and aim big and high for whatever it was they wanted. Never settle for "good enough".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2016, 09:33 PM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,398,308 times
Reputation: 6116
That was a very long and weird rant...

At minimum you're overthinking (or misinterpreting) a common phrase...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-02-2016, 11:48 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,514 posts, read 3,775,544 times
Reputation: 15511
So, basically, you're in favor of not telling kids to dream?

Parenting is a fine line between encouraging your children to dream their biggest dreams and helping them keep their feet on the ground in practical, real-world living.

What if someone had told Michael Jordan not to bother with basketball after he didn't make the team in high school? Regardless of your politics, what if someone had told Barak Obama that little black kids can't be President of the United States? What if Misty Copeland had listened to people who told her that because she was African-American, she would never be a principal ballerina with the American Ballet Theatre? What if everyone had simply dismissed Kennedy's dream of American landing a man on the moon before the end of the 1960's as some sort of rah-rah speech?

Learning how to dream is just as important to children as learning how to read. In dreams, children can try on different persona, and see which ones fit. If the dreams don't come true, that doesn't mean that the process of dreaming and imagining wasn't a good one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-03-2016, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,768 posts, read 2,313,046 times
Reputation: 4956
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP View Post
Good for you!

I have no desire to do what men do. I have nothing to prove.
So, you would not want to do what Bobby Flay does?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-03-2016, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,768 posts, read 2,313,046 times
Reputation: 4956
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga View Post
So, basically, you're in favor of not telling kids to dream?

Parenting is a fine line between encouraging your children to dream their biggest dreams and helping them keep their feet on the ground in practical, real-world living.

What if someone had told Michael Jordan not to bother with basketball after he didn't make the team in high school? Regardless of your politics, what if someone had told Barak Obama that little black kids can't be President of the United States? What if Misty Copeland had listened to people who told her that because she was African-American, she would never be a principal ballerina with the American Ballet Theatre? What if everyone had simply dismissed Kennedy's dream of American landing a man on the moon before the end of the 1960's as some sort of rah-rah speech?

Learning how to dream is just as important to children as learning how to read. In dreams, children can try on different persona, and see which ones fit. If the dreams don't come true, that doesn't mean that the process of dreaming and imagining wasn't a good one.
Usually, children find out on their own what their limitations are. Perhaps they are not cut out to be a doctor school so they look into occupational therapy, etc.

To the O.P teaching children to have hope and dream isn't giving them a "free pass" it's teaching them coping skills, and about life. Eventually, a child will find out they didn't accomplish ALL their hopes and dreams, that's life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-03-2016, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Central IL
13,370 posts, read 7,128,759 times
Reputation: 31084
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boris347 View Post
If you want to do it bad enough, you can do it. If you quit something because you can't handle the work, its because you did not want it bad enough and where not "willing" to do what it takes to get there. Wanting to reach a goal is not magic. It takes the work that comes with it. Skill and Talent belongs to anyone who wants to do something bad enough. Its not ordained at Birth.


If you love something, you can make a living at it, if you apply what you love in the right way. Goes right back to "wanting" something bad enough and achieving it. That includes Photography, as an example you mentioned. There are thousands of different kind of Photographers out there, all doing different things. Once you have the Tools and the Knowledge, you figure out which direction your passion is in, and what income is available in that field, and where. Then you have the other Direction to keep going in. You can't stop, just because you have the tools and the knowledge, and expect life to build you a road to success for you. You can't get half way up the Mountain and , and then tell yourself that you can't get any further, when all you have to do is keep moving.


I am a firm believer that anyone can do anything, if they want to. Talent and Skill is a "Learned" Trait. Have proved it over and over, by trying different things people said was a Talent, and ended up doing it as well, and in most cases better, than the original example they used, from Art, to Technical things. It didn't matter, if I wanted to do it, I did it, and well. Anyone can, if they believe.
OMG! Now that is dangerous thinking....when I see kids playing basketball at the park...what are the odds that any one of them will become professional?...what if none of them are taller than 5'6" ? Oh, I know there's that ONE guy...therefore, rather than help steer kids in a direction where they won't have broken dreams and want to kill themselves at the age of 22, let's say YOU CAN DO ANYTHING...if you try hard enough. So, ALL the blame is on them...not genetics, not their environment, not their intellect, not their lack of talent, not their lack of anything. How about getting REAL? You're not doing your job as a parent if you push wishful, magical, psychotic thinking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-03-2016, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,220 posts, read 49,768,169 times
Reputation: 66976
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP View Post
Because I happen to be one. And also because it is an art form that has turned into a circus career wise & that sucks.
Yeah, I gotta be honest.
It's not that hard to take a great picture.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top