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Old 01-08-2016, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,513 posts, read 15,993,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I have a good friend who frequently hosts short-term exchange students (from 1 to 3 weeks). She is required to provide a private room for them, as well as two meals a day and transportation to & from school and other group activities. One of her personal requirements is that the students keep their room and the bathroom (shared with other family members) clean, and she is specific, but not at all unreasonable, about her expectations (i.e. no clothes on the floor, hang up towels, etc.) She has had two Chinese students who were highly offended by this and requested transfer to a different home where they wouldn't have to do "chores." She confided to me that she much prefers to host Japanese students who are not only willing to clean up after themselves, but go above & beyond.
Wow, this brings back memories.


We have had six or seven foreign exchange students living with us, several for long weekends, several for three to four weeks and one for several months.


I still remember one eleven year old from France who lived with us for three weeks. Apparently his mom did absolutely everything for him. It was a complete shock to him when he learned that I expected him as well as my son also 11, and daughter age 7 to make their own breakfast each morning before school. Of course, it was simple, dry cereal and milk, plus fruit or juice or maybe toast & peanut butter or something in the microwave. But, that was our family routine so he followed it.


He was so proud to learn how to use the microwave or toaster and to make his own breakfast and occasional snacks (like microwave popcorn) and to learn how to rinse his used dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I also taught him a few very basic cooking skills, such as heating up soup on the stove. The only problem, which I found out later, was that he wanted to continue using a toaster, stove and microwave when he got home and his mother absolutely freaked out because it was "dangerous for a child to do any cooking by themselves".
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Old 01-08-2016, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Log "cabin" west of Bangor
5,499 posts, read 6,443,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I bet that people who do everything for their kids think that everyone else is crazy.


Sadly, it is the kids who suffer in the end, when they move out on their own and can not handle the basics of life.
When I was growing up, the kids started doing chores at age 5, in order to get a small allowance. Forget to take something to school? Tough, no one else brought it. Miss the school-bus? Walk (Or ride a bicycle if you had one). There was no being driven anywhere local, walk or ride a bike, or don't go. I had a paper route (four, actually) at 8, I was never driven by a parent, no matter what the weather (Sundays in the Winter were a real bear- multiple trips dragging a sled loaded with fat papers). I was cooking at 11, I had a regular job at 12 (janitor at the school, FT in Summer, PT during the school year). At 15 I had a year-round full-time job at a garage/service station pumping gas, changing oil, repairing tires and learning to fix motors; I bought my first car and left home to live on my own.

I don't think it hurt me any.

Unfortunately, my wife was unable to carry any kids to term, but if I had had any that lived they would not have been raised much differently.
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Old 01-08-2016, 06:24 PM
 
20 posts, read 13,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
Once they learn how to do laundry, they really don't have to practice it every week to prepare for adulthood. We host exchange students, and most of them had never operated a washing machine before coming here. After a lesson and walking them through it a couple of times, they were able to handle their laundry with no problem after that. Learning how to do laundry is really not a skill that needs to be practiced for years and years. (I actually do my students' laundry most of the time now anyway; I show them how to do it and make sure they can do it a few times, then I just take it over unless I'm too busy. I'm here all day long and there's really no reason for me to refuse to do anyone else's laundry.)
It's not just about learning how to do it, it's about getting them in the habit of doing things for themselves. If you do it for them all the time, when they get out on their own they could be prone to letting laundry pile up for days and days...
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Old 01-08-2016, 06:47 PM
 
5,524 posts, read 3,380,671 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ABCBLUE View Post
It's not just about learning how to do it, it's about getting them in the habit of doing things for themselves. If you do it for them all the time, when they get out on their own they could be prone to letting laundry pile up for days and days...
As has been pointed out...there are natural consequences to that, such as having no clean clothes. Whatever their upbringing, most people grow up and realize that some things just have to be done. If my adult child is too lazy to do laundry regularly, and tries to blame it on me for not making him do it enough at home, I will just laugh at him.
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Old 01-08-2016, 06:50 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,518,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
As has been pointed out...there are natural consequences to that, such as having no clean clothes. Whatever their upbringing, most people grow up and realize that some things just have to be done. If my adult child is too lazy to do laundry regularly, and tries to blame it on me for not making him do it enough at home, I will just laugh at him.
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Old 01-08-2016, 07:13 PM
 
Location: WI
2,822 posts, read 3,070,367 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ABCBLUE View Post
It's not just about learning how to do it, it's about getting them in the habit of doing things for themselves. If you do it for them all the time, when they get out on their own they could be prone to letting laundry pile up for days and days...
If my adult child wants to leave laundry piled up, why would that be a problem for me? Serious question.

Also, it could happen either way. Some people just don't like laundry. Probably has little to do with whether or not they did laundry every week as a kid.
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Old 01-08-2016, 07:14 PM
 
15,313 posts, read 16,886,348 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zymer View Post
When I was growing up, the kids started doing chores at age 5, in order to get a small allowance. Forget to take something to school? Tough, no one else brought it. Miss the school-bus? Walk (Or ride a bicycle if you had one). There was no being driven anywhere local, walk or ride a bike, or don't go. I had a paper route (four, actually) at 8, I was never driven by a parent, no matter what the weather (Sundays in the Winter were a real bear- multiple trips dragging a sled loaded with fat papers). I was cooking at 11, I had a regular job at 12 (janitor at the school, FT in Summer, PT during the school year). At 15 I had a year-round full-time job at a garage/service station pumping gas, changing oil, repairing tires and learning to fix motors; I bought my first car and left home to live on my own.

I don't think it hurt me any.

Unfortunately, my wife was unable to carry any kids to term, but if I had had any that lived they would not have been raised much differently.
How did you actually have a regular job at 12 years old. I am 70 years old and when I was in school, there were already laws in place that said you had to be 16 to have a regular job. I can see a paper route, but a janitor's job - not in my experience.

Now, you could get working papers at 15 for certain jobs, but still you had to be in school, so you could not do them full time. At 16 and 17, I worked as a waitress two days after school and on weekends and in the summer.
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Old 01-08-2016, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,513 posts, read 15,993,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zymer View Post
When I was growing up, the kids started doing chores at age 5, in order to get a small allowance. Forget to take something to school? Tough, no one else brought it. Miss the school-bus? Walk (Or ride a bicycle if you had one). There was no being driven anywhere local, walk or ride a bike, or don't go. I had a paper route (four, actually) at 8, I was never driven by a parent, no matter what the weather (Sundays in the Winter were a real bear- multiple trips dragging a sled loaded with fat papers). I was cooking at 11, I had a regular job at 12 (janitor at the school, FT in Summer, PT during the school year). At 15 I had a year-round full-time job at a garage/service station pumping gas, changing oil, repairing tires and learning to fix motors; I bought my first car and left home to live on my own.

I don't think it hurt me any.

Unfortunately, my wife was unable to carry any kids to term, but if I had had any that lived they would not have been raised much differently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
How did you actually have a regular job at 12 years old. I am 70 years old and when I was in school, there were already laws in place that said you had to be 16 to have a regular job. I can see a paper route, but a janitor's job - not in my experience.

Now, you could get working papers at 15 for certain jobs, but still you had to be in school, so you could not do them full time. At 16 and 17, I worked as a waitress two days after school and on weekends and in the summer.
Now, if Zymer is my parents age (born in the 1920s) it was very common to graduate from 8th grade at age 13 and then get a full time job as your education was completed at that time. Both of my parents, and almost all of my aunts & uncles were working fulltime at age 13. And, at least half of them (my parents/aunts/uncles) moved away from their parent's homes at age 13 to find work or for their jobs.


I know that several of my uncles worked fulltime in local factories, logging camps and/or handling farm equipment when they were young teens, but I don't know if they were 13, 14 or 15 when they started in those jobs and everyone is dead so I can't ask. Most of the girls (just like my mother & my aunts) started as fulltime live-in "house girls" (a combination cook, maid, babysitter) for wealthier families at age 13.


Yes, times were different then.

Last edited by germaine2626; 01-08-2016 at 08:49 PM..
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Old 01-08-2016, 08:29 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 4,833,360 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
How did you actually have a regular job at 12 years old. I am 70 years old and when I was in school, there were already laws in place that said you had to be 16 to have a regular job. I can see a paper route, but a janitor's job - not in my experience.

Now, you could get working papers at 15 for certain jobs, but still you had to be in school, so you could not do them full time. At 16 and 17, I worked as a waitress two days after school and on weekends and in the summer.
It's possible....I worked at a farm stand at age 12. In my current state you can work limited hours at age 14 1/2 and more places and hours by 15.
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Old 01-08-2016, 09:53 PM
 
11,616 posts, read 19,752,606 times
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To me, it isn't a necessity that my kids do every single thing for themselves. It is only necessary that they grow up knowing how to do things for themselves. Sometimes I choose to do things for them that they are capable of doing on their own. Other times I ask them to help me out by doing things for me that I am capable of doing by myself.

I think it is important for kids to learn life skills as they are growing up. I don't think it is important that they do every single thing they are capable of doing every single time it comes up. I think it is fine to do things for your kids and for them to do things for their parents.

As far as bringing things to school goes it really depends on the circumstances. My kids didn't forget a ton of stuff but if they did I would usually bring them the forgotten item. I think if it had been a constant issue I would have had to put an end to it. So far this school year I have been asked to take one thing to school for my son (his chemistry notebook). I am not perfect and sometimes I forget things. I don't see why a child would be different.
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