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Old 01-09-2016, 05:31 AM
 
9,360 posts, read 8,749,848 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
Well I do believe it would have been better if I had been allowed to read for a while as reading in bed often encourages sleepiness, and its certainly better than just lying there unable to sleep as that made me stressed and stress does not promote sleep.
That one sentence regarding 'stress' says a lot. Have no idea how your child spends her evenings, so this is NOT saying your home is like this, but many people have very hectic evenings: loud tv with hectic programs playing; very active play time; household members being over active verbally or physically, etc. In other words, definitely not any 'quiet time' before 'bed time'.

And if that is the case in anyone's home, many children are unable to 'gear down' before going to bed and therefore will stay awake for several hours before they're able to fall asleep. If these same children have quiet time for at least one hour before going to bed it can make a huge difference.
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Old 01-09-2016, 06:24 AM
 
397 posts, read 762,953 times
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She's a night owl plain and simple.
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Old 01-09-2016, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,019 posts, read 98,876,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by just1paul View Post
She's a night owl plain and simple.
I think that's probably true. I had a kid like that, too. Nothing we did ever helped. (Never tried the Melatonin.) She's still like that at 28.
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Old 01-09-2016, 11:36 AM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,636 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
Left to wake up naturally she'll wake between 10 and 12 normally. I wake her up at 8:30, even when I wake her up earlier than that it doesn't get her to sleep earlier. No naps at home, there's nap time at daycare but she usually just lies quietly for the story then goes to play while the others nap but sometimes she does sleep.



My kid tears around all day, usually outside a huge part of the day but its been -35 the last week so can only go outside for short lengths of time but she runs literal laps around the house inside. Not even exhaustion sends her to sleep earlier.



Well I do believe it would have been better if I had been allowed to read for a while as reading in bed often encourages sleepiness, and its certainly better than just lying there unable to sleep as that made me stressed and stress does not promote sleep.
Did you not read my original post where I said the child has to learn to be quiet if wakeful?


My son especially would be up half the night


If I didn't hear him it was OK


It became HIS responsibility to ensure he got enough sleep to go to school the next day


and he did


he had wakeful periods but the rest of us never knew about them because he'd been taught to Consider Others (which is a parents job)


I also stated this is likely genetic, you will probably have a close relative who is exactly the same


Come to find out Mom used to be awake half the night too<<<this is important!!!!


Mom - would your Mother lying down with you at 5 make you sleepy?


OF COURSE NOT!


Would being able to get up, get a book and your torch and read in bed make you sleepy?


OF COURSE


Why aren't you training your little one to read in bed?
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Old 01-09-2016, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,232,054 times
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It can be her responsibility but that still won't make her sleep if she can't sleep. She couldn't sleep while lying quiet and restful for 4 hours.

She can't read yet otherwise I'd definitely let her do that if she would do it without messing about. I used to let her look at books as long as she liked but she would put all the lights on and mess about so had to stop that.
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Old 01-09-2016, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,019 posts, read 98,876,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
Did you not read my original post where I said the child has to learn to be quiet if wakeful?


My son especially would be up half the night


If I didn't hear him it was OK


It became HIS responsibility to ensure he got enough sleep to go to school the next day


and he did


he had wakeful periods but the rest of us never knew about them because he'd been taught to Consider Others (which is a parents job)


I also stated this is likely genetic, you will probably have a close relative who is exactly the same


Come to find out Mom used to be awake half the night too<<<this is important!!!!


Mom - would your Mother lying down with you at 5 make you sleepy?


OF COURSE NOT!


Would being able to get up, get a book and your torch and read in bed make you sleepy?


OF COURSE


Why aren't you training your little one to read in bed?
So it worked for you! Surely you're aware that what works for one doesn't always work for another!
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Old 01-11-2016, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,232,054 times
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Our family support worker came round today so I talked to her about the sleeping problem and she suggested a sticker chart for falling asleep without me. She said that I shouldn't stay with her until she falls asleep, that she needs to learn to sleep by herself. All these conflicting opinions I get from the professionals here drives me nuts.

But I set up the sticker chart and told her once she gets all her stickers I'll get her a Spiderman costume (she really wants one) and tonight I stayed with her until her night time CD finished (12 songs) and then left. She came out a few times saying she couldn't sleep but she fell asleep within an hour, however she had a very long day today as it was her first day back at daycare and first evening back at free play at the gym so quite exhausted by bedtime. Shall see how tomorrow night goes.

She also told me that she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about 'bad things' and I asked her what and she said she had had a dream where she was hugging me and I tried to get away and my head came off because she was hugging me so tight so there is still nightmares going on but I reassured her that that can't happen (she asked a few questions about how someone's head might come off but ended up reassured) and the family support worker told me to get her to open up every time she says she is thinking about bad or sad things.
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Old 01-11-2016, 03:41 PM
 
15,304 posts, read 16,858,284 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
She also told me that she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about 'bad things' and I asked her what and she said she had had a dream where she was hugging me and I tried to get away and my head came off because she was hugging me so tight so there is still nightmares going on but I reassured her that that can't happen (she asked a few questions about how someone's head might come off but ended up reassured) and the family support worker told me to get her to open up every time she says she is thinking about bad or sad things.
For the nightmares, you might try a dreamcatcher.

Dream Catcher History & Legend | Dream-Catchers.org

Quote:
Native Americans believe that the night air is filled with dreams both good and bad. The dream catcher when hung over or near your bed swinging freely in the air, catches the dreams as they flow by. The good dreams know how to pass through the dream catcher, slipping through the outer holes and slide down the soft feathers so gently that many times the sleeper does not know that he/she is dreaming. The bad dreams not knowing the way get tangled in the dream catcher and perish with the first light of the new day.
A Story of the Dreamcatcher

Legend of the Dream Catcher."Wild Horse".Native American Art & History.
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:43 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,232,054 times
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She might really like that idea nana053, thanks!
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,313 posts, read 4,819,564 times
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Something I read in a book about kids at sleep makes me think it is a very bad idea to stay in the room with her. Dr. Stephen Ferber's book had really great information about sleep - sleep cycles, sleep associations. I think the information would be helpful for you to understand more about sleep itself. The associations part basically says that if she wants you in the room to go to sleep she will end up worrying that you'll leave. And that even if it works in the beginning, when she wakes up and finds you gone it will make her eventually unable to fall asleep because she will stay awake just to make sure you don't "disappear". He used the example of having your pillow fall off the bed while you're sleeping. If it happened once you'd pick it up and might not even really wake up. But if it fell at the same time every night you would start waking up before the time it was falling. And if someone was coming in at night and taking the pillow you would eventually lie awake all night making sure no one took the pillow. There was also info about sleep cycles. Adjusting bedtime might be something to consider. See if you can find the sweet spot for her. Too early and she will be antsy by the time the next cycle comes along. Too late and you miss it - you have to wait for the next one. It happens to me sometimes - I am exhausted at 10, but don't get in bed until 11 and then I've "missed my chance".

What you've mentioned about how she used to come out of bed a lot, how she wants you in the room, staying for a certain number of songs does sound like a bit of this is about control. And she did fall asleep easily when she had a really long day? I'd definitely hold off on the melatonin and just make some changes. As an adult I use melatonin occasionally but it is not meant for long term daily use.
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