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Old 01-08-2016, 01:07 PM
 
5,024 posts, read 4,835,146 times
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Holy Jupiter!

Executive Summary please.
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Old 01-08-2016, 01:29 PM
 
15,833 posts, read 18,460,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
Thank you for the advice. He has had oral motor delays since birth so he's been in feeding and speech therapies since he was an infant (common for preemies). He does professional OT through various providers multiple times per week.

His delays are also another large reason I'm home with him and he's not in school full-time, so we can make all his treatments, some come to us and some we go to them. He's making terrific progress and we hope to end therapies by the time he's 3-6yo. Fingers crossed.

His speech teacher was the one that recommended part-time pre-school to assist his speech (because it forces him to use his words with people that aren't familiar with just knowing what he wants like mom does and he sees the other kids his age talking and kids like to mimic behaviors). His teachers are also college degreed and have had other speech delayed children in their class, so they know the tools to help get him talking. They have been a blessing to us, especially so he can continue working on his skills while I'm at the doctor (which is weekly for this asthma since moving to MD).

Thank you for the tips. I've never heard of that program. I wonder if it's the same as our early intervention program called Balto. Co. Infants & Toddlers Program. I'll look into it.
You are more than welcome. Truly it sounds like you are in the right place for your son's needs. It also sounds like you have all the right professionals....don't mess with that...it is rare for things to work out so well in the world of meeting special needs. That said, elementary age is best for relocation. Move in summer and enroll him in summer activities in your new area. By the time school starts he'll already have friends...and so will you. Also, is there work at home option in your field?
I wish all kids had a loving Mom like you.
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Old 01-08-2016, 05:35 PM
 
1,301 posts, read 639,170 times
Reputation: 2099
Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
. . .

I don't think my son has any loss over his father. We split when he was 4mo

. . . and would love for my son to have a sibling . . .
Research shows not much problem for splitting up when the kiddies are under 2. Very little ID w/ a specific individual remains from those 1st 2 yrs.

Sibling - yeah - if I had a choice, my son would have had a sibling. I think it is MUCH harder for "only's" to adapt socially to the world around them. Not that they can't or don't - I've heard a significant percent of Depression era US kids were "only's". But my son is now early 20's. And I think he would be much better adapted if he had a sibling.

Job-wise, what you post seems contradictory. You say Baltimore you have good contacts, but you list hundreds of jobs in Bethesda area available, as opposed to single digits in Baltimore.

But me? If I had all the positives you list in Baltimore, AND a decent job? I'd stay in Baltimore.
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Old 01-08-2016, 05:43 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,025 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
You are more than welcome. Truly it sounds like you are in the right place for your son's needs. It also sounds like you have all the right professionals....don't mess with that...it is rare for things to work out so well in the world of meeting special needs. That said, elementary age is best for relocation. Move in summer and enroll him in summer activities in your new area. By the time school starts he'll already have friends...and so will you. Also, is there work at home option in your field?
I wish all kids had a loving Mom like you.
Aww, thank you.

Good points. Yes, a work from home would be ideal, but I'm not hanging my hat on that, especially as a new person coming to a team. At my old company, I could have swung that deal since I'd been there so long and was trusted. I'll be looking for that, but I'm not so sure I'll find much. It would greatly reduce my time in traffic and give me the flexibility that a single parent needs, so fingers crossed.
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Old 01-08-2016, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,025 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiero2 View Post
Research shows not much problem for splitting up when the kiddies are under 2. Very little ID w/ a specific individual remains from those 1st 2 yrs.

Sibling - yeah - if I had a choice, my son would have had a sibling. I think it is MUCH harder for "only's" to adapt socially to the world around them. Not that they can't or don't - I've heard a significant percent of Depression era US kids were "only's". But my son is now early 20's. And I think he would be much better adapted if he had a sibling.

Job-wise, what you post seems contradictory. You say Baltimore you have good contacts, but you list hundreds of jobs in Bethesda area available, as opposed to single digits in Baltimore.

But me? If I had all the positives you list in Baltimore, AND a decent job? I'd stay in Baltimore.
Good points. I'm an "only" but I've always been very socially outgoing (my elem. school report cards say "great student but social butterfly" lol!). Since I was friends with everyone, they always paired the new student with me to introduce them to people.

Yes, true. The contacts I have here are offering me jobs, but they aren't always positions I want or, if it is something I want, the timing is wrong (I'm not ready to go back, so I'm sure they're filling the role, not waiting around for me). Who knows if/when those positions will open again. I was at my last job for 8 years.
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Old 01-08-2016, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
5,284 posts, read 4,569,699 times
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Your priority is an appropriate job that will allow you to continue to provide all the things your son needs. (by appropriate I mean one that you like and is rewarding and financially fulfilling and convenient)

It doesn't matter/isn't best for him or not best for him whether he moves now or later. All the things you LOVE on his behalf are truly about you. You can find ways to make any environment you are in work for him some way or another. But without a job, none of it works for you.
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Old 01-09-2016, 01:15 AM
 
6,122 posts, read 3,324,438 times
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"I'm surprised that I am actually very happy here. The trouble is, I need to decide pretty soon whether I'm renewing my lease or giving notice of relocation."


Actually, there's probably little need for a quick decision. If you've been a good tenant and the landlord has been good, as well, there should be no problem adding a cancellation with a 60 or 90 day notice clause to any lease renewal. Then, when and if it becomes clear you belong elsewhere, you give your notice and go. Everything else remains the same as it would in a normal renewal. I had such a cancellation clause for more than ten years at one location, and left on very good terms after a long string of renewals.
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Old 01-09-2016, 03:21 AM
 
33,052 posts, read 12,521,075 times
Reputation: 20942
You don't need hundreds of jobs. You only need one. Surely, Baltimore has one that will work.

You don't need hundreds of guys to date. You only need one. Surely Baltimore has one.

Your son needs you. Moving to Bethesda would mean he had less time with you.

The therapeutic services you have arranged for him would have to be arranged all over again.

Things may or not be better in Bethesda. But you know they are working in Baltimore.

Reevaluate when he's a year or two older.

Have fun with your little guy in the meantime.
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Old 01-09-2016, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,025 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
"I'm surprised that I am actually very happy here. The trouble is, I need to decide pretty soon whether I'm renewing my lease or giving notice of relocation."


Actually, there's probably little need for a quick decision. If you've been a good tenant and the landlord has been good, as well, there should be no problem adding a cancellation with a 60 or 90 day notice clause to any lease renewal. Then, when and if it becomes clear you belong elsewhere, you give your notice and go. Everything else remains the same as it would in a normal renewal. I had such a cancellation clause for more than ten years at one location, and left on very good terms after a long string of renewals.
I really like this idea. Having been a landlord, I'm not sure why I didn't think of that. Thank you.
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Old 01-09-2016, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,025 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould View Post
You don't need hundreds of jobs. You only need one. Surely, Baltimore has one that will work.

You don't need hundreds of guys to date. You only need one. Surely Baltimore has one.

Your son needs you. Moving to Bethesda would mean he had less time with you.

The therapeutic services you have arranged for him would have to be arranged all over again.

Things may or not be better in Bethesda. But you know they are working in Baltimore.

Reevaluate when he's a year or two older.

Have fun with your little guy in the meantime.
All very true points. Thank you.
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