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Old 01-17-2016, 09:29 AM
 
5,646 posts, read 5,111,322 times
Reputation: 10162

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I find the guy creepy, that is my opinion. I think you are attaching your own personal meanings to that word.
google it.
So now we're going to pretend creepy means something other than what it means? It's synonymous with scary, sinister, giving off vibes of ill intent, etc. making someone uncomfortable in a bad way, like you should be frightened of someone or something. That's the only way I've ever seen it used. If you didn't want to imply something nefarious, maybe the word to use would be weird or perhaps strange. But you keep repeating creepy.

I know it's your opinion, but in asking you to justify why this particular man should be viewed as creepy. The OP made it very clear that she knows him, and her kid has been to his house before, her husband was around, and that the guy was goofing around about sports. He basically put, say, a Colts hat on his daughter's friend and said something like "everyone who comes to my house is turned into a Colts fan haha". For 10 seconds. And posted it for his friends to laugh.

What a creeper.

I get why a parent would prefer he not do that but I'm not seeing the creepiness in the guy himself. So in asking for an explanation.
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:43 AM
 
15,833 posts, read 18,460,249 times
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asked and answered....move on.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:08 AM
 
15,294 posts, read 16,849,408 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
This was cleared up when I deleted that post yesterday... I am so over being attacked for nomenclature by supporters of creepy guys videoing their neighbors children without permission.

Stop attacking...Make a point about why you support this sense of entitlement over someone else's child and debate your rationale.......
What makes you think the neighbor is a creepy guy? He's the friend's dad. We don't know that his own child was not in the video as well, but even if she wasn't it doesn't mean he's creepy. The kids were playing. We often take video of our kids playing with their friends in our yard.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:23 AM
 
764 posts, read 496,041 times
Reputation: 687
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
This was cleared up when I deleted that post yesterday... I am so over being attacked for nomenclature by supporters of creepy guys videoing their neighbors children without permission.

Stop attacking...Make a point about why you support this sense of entitlement over someone else's child and debate your rationale.......
Again, you failed to read the thread. No one is supporting creepy guys.

The "sense of entitlement" you speak of comes from a document that was presented at the founding of this nation. It's called The Constitution of the United States. I suggest anyone who comes here take some time to read it.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:27 AM
 
764 posts, read 496,041 times
Reputation: 687
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
I don't see how that's "reaching" when I'm just pointing out possibilities other than child molestation...? I mean, a lot of that is basic Internet safety: you don't know whose cousin is a drug addict looking for an empty house to rob, or which 6 degrees of separation FB "friend" holds some sort of grudge. Hypothetically the seemingly benign conversation in a 10 second video could reveal a ton of personal information. I don't know why criminals do what they do, but why wouldn't potential burglars be on Facbook? But I do think you are really reaching to pretend like no crimes are ever a result of information shared on Facebook. You say you're a teacher and a parent and yet you've never heard these basic Internet safety tips? Or of someone's house being robbed after they posted, say, the length and dates of their vacation??

Hypothetically, what if the OP and her husband, while posting pictures, are meticulous about not showing their location/address, or the child's name, age, school, etc etc?
Hypothetically, what if you were a child molester?

What is the point of going down all these hypothetically, yet extremely unlikely, forks of discussion? There is just as likely chance of you being a criminal as there is this neighbor being a criminal.

All we know is that the OP's husband knows this neighbor really well and their children play together. Nothing eludes to any of the hypothetical situations you mentioned.
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:34 AM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,429 times
Reputation: 1730
I am far more disturbed by the Event as a Whole than I am by Just a Video.


The neighbor placed a hat on OPs child.


This could be considered grooming behavior.


He got into the childs SPACE.


he touched her without invite.


He filmed it.


How many times, folks, seriously, How many times have you yourselves filmed yourself placing an article of clothing on a neighbours child?<<<I would like someone here of the "its harmless" mindset to answer this.


Memories are not made of Neighbours Kids.
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:40 AM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,429 times
Reputation: 1730
Grooming:





Grooming is a process. It begins when the predator chooses a target area. He may visit places where children are likely to go: schools, shopping malls, playgrounds, parks, and the like. He may work or volunteer at businesses that cater to children. Other predators strike up relationships with adults who have children in the home—single parent families make particularly good targets.
Victim selection and recruitment are next. There is no prototypical victim of child sexual abuse. Any child may be victimized. Not surprisingly, predators often target children with obvious vulnerabilities. A child who feels unloved and unpopular will soak up adult attention like a sponge. Children with family problems, who spend time alone and unsupervised, who lack confidence and self–esteem, and who are isolated from their peers are all likely targets.
Predators engage or "recruit" their victims in different ways. Many use a combination of forced teaming and charm. They may offer to play games, give rides, or buy treats and gifts as tokens of friendship. They may offer drugs or alcohol to older children or teenagers. And they almost always offer a sympathetic, understanding ear. Your parents don't understand or respect you? I do. Other kids make fun of you? I know what that's like—it was the same way for me when I was your age. They don't trust you at home? Boy, I know what that's like—your parents never really want you to grow up. But I trust you. I respect you. I care for you more than anybody else. And I love you. I'm here for you.


http://www.vachss.com/guest_dispatches/grooming.html
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:47 AM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,429 times
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The next time you see a news story about an individual who was arrested for child sexual abuse or on child pornography charges, listen carefully to the words of neighbors and colleagues who are asked by the media for their reaction. You will often hear words like, “We are shocked. He was so nice.” or “All the kids liked him.”
Get rid of the notion that people who sexually abuse children look and act differently than you do. Individuals who sexually abuse children can be socially adept and even charming. Most are considered by those around them to be loyal friends, good employees and responsible members of the community. But remember, public appearance does not always reflect private behavior.
In a process called “grooming”, those who sexually abuse children often go to great lengths to appear trustworthy and kind, not only to the children they target and eventually victimize but also to their parents and other adults around them. Grooming a child and family gradually over time allows them to build trust and gain access to their target while appearing to be above reproach or suspicion.






Have you seen these behavioral signs in adults who interact with your children?
  • Doesn’t appear to have a regular number of adult friends and prefers to spend free time interacting with children and teenagers who are not his own;
  • Finds ways to be alone with a child or teen when adults are not likely to interrupt, e.g. taking the child for a car ride, arranging a special trip, frequently offering to baby sit, etc.;
  • Ignores a child’s verbal or physical cues that he or she does not want to be hugged, kissed, tickled, etc.;
  • Seems to have a different special child or teen friend of a particular age or appearance from year to year;
  • Doesn’t respect a child’s or teen’s privacy in the bathroom or bedroom;
  • Gives a child or teen money or gifts for no particular occasion;
  • Discusses or asks a child or teen to discuss sexual experiences or feelings;
  • Views child pornography through tapes, photographs, magazines or the Internet. (In addition to being an important behavioral sign, possessing, viewing and/or selling child pornography is a criminal offense and should be reported.)
Important points to remember are that people who sexually abuse children are experts at gaining our confidence. They look for situations where they can have easy access to children. Sometimes, they do this by choosing work that will give them “cover” at schools, youth groups, sports teams, and other places where children live and play. Sometimes, they work to establish relationships with adults first so they will eventually gain access to their children.


Be careful and slow in choosing the people you allow into your family’s circle of trust and be ready to exclude someone from that circle at the first indication they might be unsafe.




Enough Abuse Campaign
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:49 AM
 
5,646 posts, read 5,111,322 times
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Holy cow. I believe this thread has officially boarded the crazy train.
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:49 AM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,429 times
Reputation: 1730
oh and maybe I am sensitive about this


my friends daughter was groomed then raped by the school soccer coach


she was friends with his daughter


he seduced her - groomed her - it took years.


NONE of us even guessed. I never liked this guy and when my son said "i don't want to play soccer" I was all, okie doke.


But still, Paedophile Grooming (with his wifes help)? Nope. Not so Obviously.


But it was.
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