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Old 01-17-2016, 04:59 PM
 
11,101 posts, read 6,606,783 times
Reputation: 20112

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
Whoa! Who does that???

I'm sure there's someone, somewhere, but I haven't seen it.
A number of posters have called the neighbor a pedophile. All because he posted a 10 second video joking around with his daughter's friend on Facebook. To me, that is disturbing that so many posters come to such a conclusion.

And yes, Bonnie Jean McGee did call all men pedophiles until they can prove otherwise.
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Old 01-17-2016, 05:03 PM
 
11,101 posts, read 6,606,783 times
Reputation: 20112
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
That side of the debate just seems to be attacking and saying "paranoia and fear" and flat out refuses to acknowledge basic Internet safety!
The OP said in her very first post that she and her husband posts her children's pictures on Facebook, so it has nothing to do with "basic internet safety".

And yes, it is paranoia and fear when so many posters are calling the friend's dad a creep and basically saying he is a pedophile for interacting with his daughter and her friend.
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Old 01-17-2016, 05:08 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 608,048 times
Reputation: 1730
1 in 4 is not Paranoia


1 in 4 is a whole bunch of people assuming the Nice Guy Next Door is just that


still no ones answered how creeped out they would be if they found their own child on a grown adult mans FB...


just keep skipping over that one and bash me instead
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Old 01-17-2016, 05:11 PM
 
15,836 posts, read 18,481,958 times
Reputation: 25622
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaBear999 View Post
Am I over-reacting? Hubby says I am. A neighbor down the street from us (we live in a subdivision, all of top of each other) posted a 10 second video of my daughter to his Facebook page. He is a big sports fan and put his sport team hat on her and filmed her wearing it with a quote along the lines this is what happens when your child hangs out with my child. Hubby knows the neighbor well as our kids play together. It bothers ME. All of his 500 friends are seeing this video and feel like he should have asked me or hubby if it was ok to post. Hubby told me to text/tell him directly if I had a problem with it. Yes, I have lots of pics on my Facebook page of my kids, which is private, but funny thing is, I do not have one single video of my children on Facebook. Thoughts?
Back on topic

Personally OP....I think you always need to follow your gut instincts. Your hubby discounting your instinct has you second guessing them. I hope you will do that, follow your gut, none of us know you or your neighbor.

If it were me, I would talk to him, especially if your kids continue to play together.
IMO It is not ok that he posted your 7 year old daughter on his FB without asking, in a video he took without asking you or her father, joke or not. And the way he responded to my concerns would determine any future interactions going forward.

ETA@
Bonnie...I would be just as concerned as this young mother. But I wouldn't let my husband's comments keep me from having a face to face, and that video would be off his FB.
@Afternooncoffee Reps!

Last edited by JanND; 01-17-2016 at 05:24 PM..
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Old 01-17-2016, 05:24 PM
 
11,101 posts, read 6,606,783 times
Reputation: 20112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
still no ones answered how creeped out they would be if they found their own child on a grown adult mans FB...
Plenty of posters have answered this and said that they would not be creeped out.

It was not some strange man that lived down the street, it was the friend's father. They knew the girl was over there. They were outside, and the OP's husband was also outside. The OP and her husband post pictures of their child all the time on Facebook, so the neighbor probably figured they were ok with their child being on Facebook. He is friend's with the OP and her husband, so he knew they would see the video. He wasn't trying to hide anything.
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Old 01-17-2016, 05:35 PM
 
2,937 posts, read 1,664,859 times
Reputation: 6644
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
in fact you're wrong


part of his grooming was to groom my friend


she trusted this couple with her life. They were all over each others FBs.


she trusted her daughter to be smart enough to resist but he convinced her he was In Love with her. It took YEARS to groom, about 4 before he finally raped her.
Smart enough to resist what? What sexual thing did her mother think was going on that her daughter would resist.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
1 in 4 is not Paranoia


1 in 4 is a whole bunch of people assuming the Nice Guy Next Door is just that


still no ones answered how creeped out they would be if they found their own child on a grown adult mans FB...


just keep skipping over that one and bash me instead
I'll answer it. If I found a video of a child on a male friends Facebook, who tagged me in the picture I wouldn't be creeped out. At all.
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Old 01-17-2016, 08:19 PM
 
9,701 posts, read 6,689,136 times
Reputation: 9781
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post

still no ones answered how creeped out they would be if they found their own child on a grown adult mans FB...
I have a child, that child is on grown men's FB, and I have never thought anything about it. Why would I be "creeped out"?

I'm not a crazed, paranoid parent who thinks the world revolves around me, and I don't assume that people taking pictures has anything to do with pedophilia.
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Old 01-17-2016, 09:43 PM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,401,522 times
Reputation: 6116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
And yes, Bonnie Jean McGee did call all men pedophiles until they can prove otherwise.
Did she? I didn't catch that.

Regardless, I would consider that an extreme position that not many people share.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:11 PM
 
764 posts, read 496,551 times
Reputation: 687
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
Did she? I didn't catch that.

Regardless, I would consider that an extreme position that not many people share.
See below. She's an extremist for sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
They ARE Pedophiles until proven otherwise.





ETA: its your CHILDREN folks...I wouldn't give a flying fart about hurting some adults feelings or misjudging them - the world is chock full of We Had No Idea and I was never going to be one of them.
I'm concerned about the people around you.
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Old 01-17-2016, 10:22 PM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,401,522 times
Reputation: 6116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
The OP said in her very first post that she and her husband posts her children's pictures on Facebook, so it has nothing to do with "basic internet safety".
I disagree. One of the sane, rational points I have tried to make is that a parent posting pictures on Facebook will more than likely take "basic Internet safety" into account. Because they are looking out for their child's best interest. There was a thread recently about posting pictures of your kids and most of the responses included a list of "precautions" people take when posting (for example: no pictures of their address or street, kids names/ages/school, etc etc) Whereas, another person may not take those same precautions. Not out of maliciousness, but simply ignorance. There may be plenty of good reasons parents don't post videos or limit the recipients of the pictures they post--reasons that a casual friend or neighbor wouldn't know about.

We don't know all the details of the OP's situation, of course. So there's going to be conjecture--it's a parenting forum, after all--we tend to explore various sides of issues that parents face. However, the OP DID say that she doesn't have a single video posted. So I don't think we can dismiss outright that her post has "nothing to do with basic Internet safety"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
And yes, it is paranoia and fear when so many posters are calling the friend's dad a creep and basically saying he is a pedophile for interacting with his daughter and her friend.
I think y'all are reading WAY too much in these responses (See if you can spot the irony!) I've rarely--if ever--seen so many vehemently defensive posts--as if they themselves are being called "creeps" and "pedophiles" when parents have stated some of the many reasons they wouldn't want their neighbor to post a video of their kid. I really think it was the dendesice responses that introduced the extreme rhetoric. Basically, if someone offhandedly writes, "yeah, that's a little creepy" (please tell me y'all understand there's a difference between a situation being "creepy" and a person being "a creep") then like 3 posters pounce and respond, "OMG! You just called him a pedophile!! Lock you kids inside! I can be as creepy as want to be! Nothing bad ever happens on the Internet!" The responses have felt very intellectually dishonest from that point on.
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