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Old 01-13-2016, 10:01 PM
 
Location: NNJ
8,441 posts, read 4,653,285 times
Reputation: 9097

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My wife and I wanted just one more child so that our eldest son not be alone in this world. As luck would have it, we had twins... sickly twins. As much as we try to enjoy our children the stress of caring for them contributed to our marriage nearly failing.

Don't go into it alone and don't have one for the wrong reasons. Children requires a lot of self sacrifice, full attention/time, and a huge responsibility that you cannot just walk away from.

 
Old 01-13-2016, 10:10 PM
 
37 posts, read 26,184 times
Reputation: 23
Wait I just notice something
How is this a relationship question?
 
Old 01-13-2016, 11:35 PM
 
Location: Southern California
25,323 posts, read 24,133,744 times
Reputation: 23712
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So today I realized how much I painfully want to get pregnant immediately. I post on here a ton about all guys and the struggle to find a decent guy. I just didn't realize how much I want it. I spent 4 hours straight between classes talking to anyone who will listen about how badly I want to get pregnant. A girl in my program just got married and is 7 months pregnant and I ex like about to cry when she was describing it. I can not wait to get Ormsby. I'm so obsessed and it's unhealthy like I know that if I get the opportunity to try I will because I want it so much. I just don't know how to not feel like this I mean I think I'm at a point in life where I could have a baby. I will finish grad school in a few months and the military guy I like will be back in 9 months and he wants babies but idk how soon. I mean realistically he should want them sooner than later. I just want to be pregnant so much!
OMG, honey.

This VERY STRONG desire is RIGHT NOW.

By contrast...a baby is FOREVER.

People who say "a baby is for the next 18 years" are lying.

You never...ever...ever are "done" being a parent, you are never done worrying, there is never that point where there's a guarantee that your child is stable and permanently financially independent and will never need to move back home under any circumstances, and then guess what, along come the grandchildren.

STOP and think...and talk to somebody. A professional, I mean. Talk all this out and get to the heart of it and figure out how to address these feelings. Take care and good luck.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:03 AM
 
741 posts, read 348,004 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
Well........

I'm not familiar with your other posts but if that's what you want then I wish you the very best

Although " and the struggle to find a decent guy "??? If you don't have one already is it not worth waiting until you have one?
Its definitely worth it I want a whole family but like it's taking so long. I want to be pregnant super soon
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:11 AM
 
Location: Illinois
4,754 posts, read 4,089,878 times
Reputation: 12890
How old are you?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Texas
3,693 posts, read 2,835,177 times
Reputation: 6074
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
OMG, honey.

This VERY STRONG desire is RIGHT NOW.

By contrast...a baby is FOREVER.

People who say "a baby is for the next 18 years" are lying.

You never...ever...ever are "done" being a parent, you are never done worrying, there is never that point where there's a guarantee that your child is stable and permanently financially independent and will never need to move back home under any circumstances, and then guess what, along come the grandchildren.

STOP and think...and talk to somebody. A professional, I mean. Talk all this out and get to the heart of it and figure out how to address these feelings. Take care and good luck.
Well said.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:24 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,531 posts, read 42,694,765 times
Reputation: 57174
Please get a grip. Get a husband and finish school first. You have no idea how hard children are to raise properly without two parents.
Just because a bunch of girls have babies on their own, doesn't mean its a good idea. Just keep thinking that you want the best for your children, not less than the best.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:29 AM
 
3,153 posts, read 2,846,998 times
Reputation: 8665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Its definitely worth it I want a whole family but like it's taking so long. I want to be pregnant super soon
Grow up and exercise some rationality in the face of hormones. If you can't do that, then you are not ready for children. Children are an incredible amount of work, and you need a strong relationship, good finances, and emotional and physical support to raise them successfully without being miserable and exhausted all the time. You sound very young. Unless you are 35 and looking at a biological deadline, then you need to wait until the time is right. I really really want to sleep and eat cheesecake all day, but I'm not going to do that either.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:31 AM
 
3,153 posts, read 2,846,998 times
Reputation: 8665
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
OMG, honey.

This VERY STRONG desire is RIGHT NOW.

By contrast...a baby is FOREVER.

People who say "a baby is for the next 18 years" are lying.

You never...ever...ever are "done" being a parent, you are never done worrying, there is never that point where there's a guarantee that your child is stable and permanently financially independent and will never need to move back home under any circumstances, and then guess what, along come the grandchildren.

STOP and think...and talk to somebody. A professional, I mean. Talk all this out and get to the heart of it and figure out how to address these feelings. Take care and good luck.
So so so true. Everyone I know has at least one adult sibling who still needs parental support, and I'm talking about 40-somethings, not 20-somethings.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:51 AM
 
6,229 posts, read 9,509,112 times
Reputation: 7519
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Why? Why do you think you want a baby so badly?
The question is why wouldn't she want a baby? Women are biologically designed and programmed to have and nurture children. The liberated western career woman doesn't represent what 90% of most women around the world desire to do and have done since the beginning.
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