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Old 01-14-2016, 04:25 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,744,558 times
Reputation: 31041

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Aren't you a little scared? What if you died? You have no one left to carry things on for you.

I'm afraid it won't happen and then I'm going to be sad for forever
Carry on what things?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
No. He wants to have a lot of sex when he's back (obviously he's been away for forever) he also said he hates condoms so I mean it's whatever. I take BC so if it happens it happens but neither of us will try.

Also I'm in my fertile peak right now. After 30 your eggs and quality decrease. By 35 you're super high risk for special needs kids
Not true. Your risk for having a baby with special needs increases a little after 35. It does not get super high.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
The one who broke up with me was the separated one.

And I know but I forced it with them. I'm forcing it note line by going on the dating sites (I'm not actively on but I met them on them) I would be calm I think.

He's a player but he's military they std test them regularly and he said he hasn't had sex in years and I have no issue with condoms he just hates them
whhaaaaaaatttttt?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I don't understand why you think I'm trolling? Why can't I be a real person who just wants to be loved or have a normal life that most 25 year olds have? It's not outlandish to want those things people much younger have them. The friend who had the party is like 23 newly and getting married a second time she is hurrying because she and her fiance want to have a baby BEFORE 25. It isn't outlandish and given my life story it's even more to be expected that I would want to start a family young or that I would crave love. It's easy to assume I'm just joking but what would I gain? I mean coming on here being ridiculed? Yeah that's totally fun. I listen to my therapist but imagine someone telling you not to pursue the only thing you want the most you would likely not do it. I try I mean I deleted the sites and kept a few apps but I don't talk to people as much I am trying to focus on studying for class and licensing. Also because military guy means a lot to me. Point being I'm not outlandish or crazy or trolling for wanting to belong to someone
Who are these 25 year olds who are married with kids? It might be common in small town mid-west, never went to college type towns. You are in grad school. "Most" people getting a higher education are not pregnant at 25.

You aren't outlandish for wanting to be in a relationship. You aren't outlandish for wanting to have a baby. You are outlandish because you are obsessing about it to the point of convincing yourself that you are going to marry someone you hardly know. You are outlandish for convincing yourself that the last guy was a "good guy" because he didn't hit you. Can you say "low standards?" You are outlandish because you allow your life and your mood to be dictated by whether or not some guy you hardly know calls you back after a date. I said it before, and I'll say it again. It is pathetic.

You keep saying you want a "baby." Do you want a 2 year old? Do you want an 8 year old? A 13 year old? You can't have a baby without eventually having one of those, too.

How about a little boy who can't hit the toilet with his pee? That goes from age 3-?? when they move out? sooo cute... not!

 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:29 PM
 
6,166 posts, read 3,255,725 times
Reputation: 12507
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So today I realized how much I painfully want to get pregnant immediately. I post on here a ton about all guys and the struggle to find a decent guy. I just didn't realize how much I want it. I spent 4 hours straight between classes talking to anyone who will listen about how badly I want to get pregnant. A girl in my program just got married and is 7 months pregnant and I ex like about to cry when she was describing it. I can not wait to get Ormsby. I'm so obsessed and it's unhealthy like I know that if I get the opportunity to try I will because I want it so much. I just don't know how to not feel like this I mean I think I'm at a point in life where I could have a baby. I will finish grad school in a few months and the military guy I like will be back in 9 months and he wants babies but idk how soon. I mean realistically he should want them sooner than later. I just want to be pregnant so much!
If I were a guy, I'd stay a million miles away from you. A man wants someone who loves him, who wants to be his partner in life. Not for his sperm.

I understand the biological urge to have children. I had that once. And you should have kids, if that's what you want.

But I think the first thing to want is a soulmate to share having a baby with, to make a baby that's part of each of you. This is assuming that you are at least mimimally financially prepared to have a baby. They cost a lot of money, and it will be difficult to pay for day care while beginning a career, and scheduling drop-offs and pickups. New employers often expect newbies to work long hours, depending on your field.

The early working years are the years to bust your buns, build a career, get some money in the bank. It will be very difficult to do that when you're older and after you have kids. It's more difficult to start a family when you're older, too, but as long as you're still in your 30s, it should not be a problem. That gives you time to have a couple of kids, I should think, even if you don't get preggers right away.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:31 PM
 
741 posts, read 348,711 times
Reputation: 178
I guess for me I just want to experience it. I want so badly to have those things and I'm 25 now most people meet their person before 25. I have girls in my program in relationships and engaged who are my age and younger. I'm ready I would be great as a gf and wife and mom. I was so patient with my ex and forgiving and kind
 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:37 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,619,135 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I don't understand why you think I'm trolling? Why can't I be a real person who just wants to be loved or have a normal life that most 25 year olds have? It's not outlandish to want those things people much younger have them. The friend who had the party is like 23 newly and getting married a second time she is hurrying because she and her fiance want to have a baby BEFORE 25. It isn't outlandish and given my life story it's even more to be expected that I would want to start a family young or that I would crave love. It's easy to assume I'm just joking but what would I gain? I mean coming on here being ridiculed? Yeah that's totally fun. I listen to my therapist but imagine someone telling you not to pursue the only thing you want the most you would likely not do it. I try I mean I deleted the sites and kept a few apps but I don't talk to people as much I am trying to focus on studying for class and licensing. Also because military guy means a lot to me. Point being I'm not outlandish or crazy or trolling for wanting to belong to someone
That's most likely because your line of thinking is eerily similar to a teenage girls on the subject, and for someone in grad school your grammar is atrocious. If that isn't the case, then you are proving you are not even close to ready to become a Mother yet.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:41 PM
 
2,054 posts, read 984,917 times
Reputation: 3925
Um.....how many non religious, healthy servicemen haven't had sex in years? And even call themselves players if they are celibate? None of the men who have met so far are good candidates for fatherhood.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:55 PM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,978,373 times
Reputation: 11120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I don't understand why you think I'm trolling? Why can't I be a real person who just wants to be loved or have a normal life that most 25 year olds have? It's not outlandish to want those things people much younger have them. The friend who had the party is like 23 newly and getting married a second time she is hurrying because she and her fiance want to have a baby BEFORE 25. It isn't outlandish and given my life story it's even more to be expected that I would want to start a family young or that I would crave love. It's easy to assume I'm just joking but what would I gain? I mean coming on here being ridiculed? Yeah that's totally fun. I listen to my therapist but imagine someone telling you not to pursue the only thing you want the most you would likely not do it. I try I mean I deleted the sites and kept a few apps but I don't talk to people as much I am trying to focus on studying for class and licensing. Also because military guy means a lot to me. Point being I'm not outlandish or crazy or trolling for wanting to belong to someone
people think you are trolling when you either ignore or refuse to truly consider posts contrary to what you want. you refuse to consider you are not ready to have a baby. you are swimming in lake me, not giving any consideration to common sense. ignoring any wisdom or show any real caring and love for any baby you might have.

not all 35 year olds have a family and children. are you capable of real introspection? until then you will make a horrible mother. get your emotions under control and figure out how you can be happy with you before you bring a baby into that world.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:57 PM
 
12,915 posts, read 19,798,895 times
Reputation: 33939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post

Who are these 25 year olds who are married with kids? It might be common in small town mid-west, never went to college type towns. You are in grad school. "Most" people getting a higher education are not pregnant at 25.

You aren't outlandish for wanting to be in a relationship. You aren't outlandish for wanting to have a baby. You are outlandish because you are obsessing about it to the point of convincing yourself that you are going to marry someone you hardly know. You are outlandish for convincing yourself that the last guy was a "good guy" because he didn't hit you. Can you say "low standards?" You are outlandish because you allow your life and your mood to be dictated by whether or not some guy you hardly know calls you back after a date. I said it before, and I'll say it again. It is pathetic.

You keep saying you want a "baby." Do you want a 2 year old? Do you want an 8 year old? A 13 year old? You can't have a baby without eventually having one of those, too.

How about a little boy who can't hit the toilet with his pee? That goes from age 3-?? when they move out? sooo cute... not!
This is a very good post OP. Read it a few times. And then, print out this thread, and a couple of your other ones and take them to your therapist. You are not getting your money's worth.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 04:58 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,744,558 times
Reputation: 31041
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I guess for me I just want to experience it. I want so badly to have those things and I'm 25 now most people meet their person before 25. I have girls in my program in relationships and engaged who are my age and younger. I'm ready I would be great as a gf and wife and mom. I was so patient with my ex and forgiving and kind
Says who?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:01 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,579 posts, read 21,763,821 times
Reputation: 44382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So today I realized how much I painfully want to get pregnant immediately. I post on here a ton about all guys and the struggle to find a decent guy. I just didn't realize how much I want it. I spent 4 hours straight between classes talking to anyone who will listen about how badly I want to get pregnant. A girl in my program just got married and is 7 months pregnant and I ex like about to cry when she was describing it. I can not wait to get Ormsby. I'm so obsessed and it's unhealthy like I know that if I get the opportunity to try I will because I want it so much. I just don't know how to not feel like this I mean I think I'm at a point in life where I could have a baby. I will finish grad school in a few months and the military guy I like will be back in 9 months and he wants babies but idk how soon. I mean realistically he should want them sooner than later. I just want to be pregnant so much!

I understand that desire. However, before I had my first (and only biological) child, I made sure that all of my ducks were in a row.

1. I was married

2. My husband had a flourishing business and a masters degree.

3. I had a profession and a job that would translate easily into a part time position. (RN) I also had a BA in another subject.

4. I had traveled and had "my fun" in life.

5. We owned our home.

6. We had something to give the baby - and were looking for nothing in return.

I am a great believer in babies with married parents. Not down with this "horse before the carriage" trend.

While I can't say that I read your entire thread, I can say that your original post sounded "needy".

Babies, and children in general, do not compensate for insecurities. It's a one way street. You give, they take.

Right now, I would stay away from friends with babies. Do something instead to make yourself a good parent, and a more interesting partner. Learn a trade. Or a profession so that you can support this baby.

When people have a full life, they are eminently more attractive to people as potential partners.

I wish you the best, and I hope that you heed my advice.

Last edited by sheena12; 01-14-2016 at 05:17 PM..
 
Old 01-14-2016, 05:01 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,170 posts, read 610,940 times
Reputation: 1523
I know how you feel. I want a baby to. I take care if my little nephew and he is so little and perfect. Children are such a blessing!!! Its normal that you're body is letting you know that its time. I hope that you will soon find the perfect guy and every thing happens for you. You are in my prayers.
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