I really really want a baby so badly. (graduating, attention, wife)

[hothulamaui]

Originally Posted by Gab12

I wouldn't be with someone who didn't want a baby

that wasn't my question. what if you never meet a man that wants to have a baby? lots of relationships don't go the distance, what happens to your happiness if you continue on meeting men and they don't want the same thing you do as in a baby? how will you make your life fulfilled?

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by Gab12

I'm going to be a social worker I probably won't even be able to support myself with just my income.

Whatever you do for a living it is your responsibility to support yourself. That is what adults do.

Originally Posted by Gab12

Also those people knew eachother for 16 years I'm 25 already I need to meet someone like today and start working on getting engaged after a year at most

My point was that they got married at age 34 and are now planning to have a baby, after they had established their careers, after they had paid off all of their students loans, after they saved the money for their wedding & house & new baby!


BTW, they were not official engaged until they were 33 years old (however, they were exclusive since they were younger).

[Gab12]

Originally Posted by hothulamaui

that wasn't my question. what if you never meet a man that wants to have a baby? lots of relationships don't go the distance, what happens to your happiness if you continue on meeting men and they don't want the same thing you do as in a baby? how will you make your life fulfilled?

I have no idea. My life won't be fulfilled or complete I will just be sad all the time and try to find someone to do it (be with me and get me pregnant

[Gab12]

Originally Posted by germaine2626

Whatever you do for a living it is your responsibility to support yourself.





My point was that they got married at age 34 and are now planning to have a baby, after they had established their careers, after they had paid off all of their students loans, after they saved the money for their wedding & house & new baby!


BTW, they were not official engaged until they were 33 years old (however, they were exclusive since they were younger).

At least they had eachother I meanif I was in a relationship that I knew was likely to last I would be much less stressed

[hothulamaui]

Originally Posted by Gab12

I have no idea.

I don't mean to be mean or rude, life sometimes does not work out how we want or like. I have several girlfriends that are now in their 60's who do not have children. I know one for sure wanted them but it never happened. both women are very happy in their lives. you have to learn to be happy either with or without children, either with or without a man. as John Lennon said life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. find a job that inspires you, get a hobby that makes you happy.

there is also the possibility of multiple marriages, not everyone finds happiness the first time. many women don't met their "soulmates: until they are in their 40's.

you have time for all you want, slow down and enjoy the ride.

[hothulamaui]

Originally Posted by Gab12

I have no idea. My life won't be fulfilled or complete I will just be sad all the time and try to find someone to do it (be with me and get me pregnant

I find it hard to imagine that you are so helpless or that void of imagination. seems like you think the easy out is the answer, you just don't want to work at life.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by Gab12

My life won't be fulfilled or complete I will just be sad all the time and try to find someone to do it (be with me and get me pregnant

So your life is defined by your uterus.

[jjrose]

Originally Posted by Gab12

That was my former therapist and she got married to someone at 20 and has been married for like 20 years.

I'm going to be a social worker I probably won't even be able to support myself with just my income. Also those people knew eachother for 16 years I'm 25 already I need to meet someone like today and start working on getting engaged after a year at most

And yet you want a baby? Do you have any idea how much it costs to raise a child?
If you can't support yourself, how do you plan on supporting yourself plus a baby? And don't tell me you are depending on this imaginary man you are going to meet, YOU need to be able to support yourself.

[Three Wolves In Snow]

I wouldn't normally respond to these types of posts but in this case, I'm going to because I am not interested in paying for your welfare because you just could not function in life without a kid that you are clearly not ready for.

Originally Posted by Gab12

Omg no! I'm so against that unless I'm like super old. Because it just seems desperate you know? Like then I have to explain that to a kid one day

You are desperate.

Originally Posted by Gab12

I hate being alone is the worst thing ever. I just need to show the military guy that I'm great. I hope so much he wants to be with me when he's back. I wish I would be with someone clingy because then at least they won't leave me you know? They will value me and our relationship.

I just can't imagine being 40 and single I mean for some people out would be great and that's awesome but for me it would be so sad. I'm just sad all the time and being like that for the next 20 years is awful

Is this a real thread? Is this not a troll thread? You want a baby so that you're not alone? You want someone who is clingy? Seriously? You have no idea what a clingy person can turn in to. You're only 25, and you're already thinking that 40 is tomorrow, chill out. If you're sad all the time, a baby isn't going to fix that.

Finish your school, get employed, find some fricken hobbies, make some friends, BAM, you won't be lonely anymore. And the older you get, by the way, the more you want to be alone...so not, it doesn't have to be a "sad" thing.

Originally Posted by Gab12

I just feel happiest in a relationship. I know I said this in another post. I do though even when it's bad. I'm just so thankful someone wants to be with me. My ex it was like a Jack pot because he was nice to me and liked me and wouldn't ever hit me and didn't push me for sex he was a good person. I know this military guy is also. I feel like... thankful that he's even interested in me.

Number one reason not to go having a kid right now. You can't be happy by yourself. You think a "good" guy is a guy who doesn't hit you? Are you fricken serious right now? That's your criteria? "He doesn't hit me, so he's a good guy." Lord give me strength right now....

You don't even "have" military guy. And "thankful that he's even interested in me"....seriously...you need another therapist. The one you have is not doing you any favors. You are putting your worth on a guy liking you and "being nice" to you and "not hitting" you. I know that when people are young they are naive, but gottdangit girl, you are old enough to know what an actual "good" person is...unless you're not actually 25. To be honest, you're talking like a 15 year old girl. You are not emotionally ready to have a kid, you need to work on yourself, first.

Relationships are great, but they should not define you.

Originally Posted by Gab12

I have no idea. My life won't be fulfilled or complete I will just be sad all the time and try to find someone to do it (be with me and get me pregnant

Sigh. You most certainly can have a fulfilling life, but it sounds like you aren't even willing to try to find any fulfillment in anything else in life, you're pinning it all on a kid that you think you want...and honestly? That is horrifically unfair to the kid you're wanting.

Originally Posted by Gab12

I don't like animals so I don't want a pet. I'm not unhinged for wanting a family at 25

This is a red flag for me. What is it that you don't like about animals? I would love to hear what you don't like about animals.

By the way, what are you going to do when your non existent kid that you some day have gets older and begs you for a pet?

I repeat: Finish school, get a good paying job, establish yourself, live by your dang self for at least a year, relying on YOURSELF, find friends, find hobbies, learn to like yourself and not expect others to make you have some kind of worth, find your worth from yourself, and only then should you get involved with anyone else, and once you realize that "good guy" doesn't mean "doesn't hit me", only then should you think about having a kid.

I need a drink. I don't even drink, but I need a drink.

[Gab12]

Originally Posted by hothulamaui

I find it hard to imagine that you are so helpless or that void of imagination. seems like you think the easy out is the answer, you just don't want to work at life.

I mean I think I will have a career I love. But my life goal is to be a wife and mother. I can't imagine feeling how I feel everyday for the rest of my life. It wouldn't be a life worth living to me in all honesty