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Old 01-14-2016, 07:50 PM
 
741 posts, read 350,570 times
Reputation: 178

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
No, Gab, I'm not a "RUDE JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That was left in my rep comment.

I'm spilling reality out for you. Tough cookies if it's hard to face reality, wait until you do it in the real world.

Don't have a kid. I don't want to pay for your kid.
I didnt do that. I don't know how to comment on that I just click the like lol or ignore the like thing.

I know what you said has truth. I don't intend to have anyone pay for my future kids. I just think that SW isn't high paying I would need a second income.

 
Old 01-14-2016, 07:50 PM
 
Location: here
24,483 posts, read 28,844,341 times
Reputation: 31077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
That was my former therapist and she got married to someone at 20 and has been married for like 20 years.

I'm going to be a social worker I probably won't even be able to support myself with just my income. Also those people knew eachother for 16 years I'm 25 already I need to meet someone like today and start working on getting engaged after a year at most
I don't even know what to say to this. Of course you will be able to support yourself. If you wanted a more extravagant lifestyle, then you should have chosen a different career field. If you can't support yourself, how would you support a baby? Child care is expensive. Your relationship track record, and your hurry to make a baby with pretty much anyone at this point pretty much guarantees that you'll end up raising the baby alone. How are you going to do that?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 07:52 PM
 
741 posts, read 350,570 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I don't even know what to say to this. Of course you will be able to support yourself. If you wanted a more extravagant lifestyle, then you should have chosen a different career field. If you can't support yourself, how would you support a baby? Child care is expensive. Your relationship track record, and your hurry to make a baby with pretty much anyone at this point pretty much guarantees that you'll end up raising the baby alone. How are you going to do that?
Idk I worry so much about the physical difficulty of being alone and financial
 
Old 01-14-2016, 07:54 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,443,527 times
Reputation: 32248
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So I mean it's hard. That's going to be crazy hard.
Life is hard. You don't get a pass because you have a Duggar-like desire to become pregnant.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Middle of nowhere
19,463 posts, read 9,802,622 times
Reputation: 7551
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So I mean it's hard. That's going to be crazy hard. I can try. I'm still going to talk to the military guy though and hope he gives me attention. I don't want to lose him
Again, you need to work on YOU before you bring another human (man or infant) into your life.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,788 posts, read 15,546,159 times
Reputation: 24323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I didnt do that. I don't know how to comment on that I just click the like lol or ignore the like thing.

I know what you said has truth. I don't intend to have anyone pay for my future kids. I just think that SW isn't high paying I would need a second income.
Fine...then I hope the person who did has the spine to tell me who they are. I despise cowards.

As for you, as others have said, if you can't support yourself on your income, how are you going to support a kid? What happens if it doesn't work out with military guy, or whomever you end up with? You've got your kid, it doesn't work out with military guy/some other guy, now you're on your own with a kid...kids are expensive. What are you going to do then? You have to have enough to be able to take care of yourself and a kid BY YOURSELF because life is not a fairy tale and things happen.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 07:57 PM
 
Location: here
24,483 posts, read 28,844,341 times
Reputation: 31077
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Idk I worry so much about the physical difficulty of being alone and financial
I don't know what this means, but I take it you haven't thought about that possibility. You really need to consider that. Even the most stable marriages are tested when kids are in the picture. Weak ones don't stand a chance.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 08:08 PM
 
2,937 posts, read 1,672,265 times
Reputation: 6648
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
That's the thing I hang with myself all the time im sick of it. I want to spend my time worth another person
A baby is not that person. Neither is a long distance relationship with a guy in the military. And I say this as someone who was long distance with my now husband for over 5 years.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
One thing I will say is about a year ago I did think I was pregnant and it was so scary. But I was happy because the guy was ok well he seemed ok but he ended up being mean. Only reason I was scared was because I had JUST started graduate school and had no money.
I can't believe someone with your vocabulary and writing style is actually 25 and in grad school.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
That was my former therapist and she got married to someone at 20 and has been married for like 20 years.

I'm going to be a social worker I probably won't even be able to support myself with just my income. Also those people knew eachother for 16 years I'm 25 already I need to meet someone like today and start working on getting engaged after a year at most
Seriously? You're in grad school for a degree that you don't think you will be able to find a job that pays enough? You didn't think this through first?


Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy View Post
Thats incredibly mean. Some of us were born to be mothers and know it will happen for us. Why should she not think she has a chance to find some one? Why not her? Shes a child of God. She has the chsnce to find true love and settle down. Why should she think any different. Why bring her down

The word never is negative.
I think you completely missed what hothulamaui was saying. She's saying that you need to be to be alone and still be happy. You need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I guess I should maybe just focus on graduating and licensing then I can date?
Yes, yes and yes. I couldn't of imagined being pregnant (granted I'm not having kids) in grad school or while I was working towards my license.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So I mean it's hard. That's going to be crazy hard. I can try. I'm still going to talk to the military guy though and hope he gives me attention. I don't want to lose him
You can't lose something you never had.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I didnt do that. I don't know how to comment on that I just click the like lol or ignore the like thing.

I know what you said has truth. I don't intend to have anyone pay for my future kids. I just think that SW isn't high paying I would need a second income.
Have you ever done any research on what jobs you can get and what they pay for a MSW?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 08:08 PM
 
Location: NJ = the $ you have is NOT yours.
6,164 posts, read 4,086,967 times
Reputation: 3655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
The one who broke up with me was the separated one.

And I know but I forced it with them. I'm forcing it note line by going on the dating sites (I'm not actively on but I met them on them) I would be calm I think.

He's a player but he's military they std test them regularly and he said he hasn't had sex in years and I have no issue with condoms he just hates them
Okay now that I've read several pages here is my take:

Unless you are able to pay ANY expenses for any children you produce BY YOURSELF - don't do it!

IF you're going to procreate and or have sex without protection, both of you get STD tested FREQUENTLY!

IF you're going to be with the military player, don't be surprised that you'll get played against later.

Don't let any illogic as well as your mind inside you below your waist dominate your destiny at least way too early.

In essence PLEASE WAKE UP and see what's going on out there, go to the dating sites as a reminder/education and see the majority of women who are divorced (verses single) and or with young children - do you want to potentially want to be an addition to these "statistics"? Don't say that "it won't happen to you" because in the way the "me-me" society is on the whole these days the odds are not in anybody's favor although there are "some" couples who do stand the test of time.

I'll stress: THIS IS WHY IF YOU NEED TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS THE SECOND SENTENCE I WROTE IS IMPORTANT SO TO NOT HAVE TO RELY ON ANY MAN/MEN WHEN THEY POTENTIALLY COULD SKIP OUT ON RESPONSIBILITIES AT LEAST FINANCIALLY OF BEING THE BIRTH'S FATHER AND YOU'LL ALSO POTENTIALLY NEED TO PAY FOR DAYCARE IN ADDITION TO YOUR OTHER LIVING EXPENSES.

I have given you tough love in caring about your welfare - kindly take it as you will.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 08:09 PM
 
741 posts, read 350,570 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
Fine...then I hope the person who did has the spine to tell me who they are. I despise cowards.

As for you, as others have said, if you can't support yourself on your income, how are you going to support a kid? What happens if it doesn't work out with military guy, or whomever you end up with? You've got your kid, it doesn't work out with military guy/some other guy, now you're on your own with a kid...kids are expensive. What are you going to do then? You have to have enough to be able to take care of yourself and a kid BY YOURSELF because life is not a fairy tale and things happen.
I would be like 40 before I make enough to fully support myself and a kid that's horrible
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