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Old 01-15-2016, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Middle of nowhere
19,463 posts, read 9,786,621 times
Reputation: 7551

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I think I plan out things a lot I mean I posted here and didn't just go have unprotected sex with the next person who would do it. I think that's good of me. I'm not understanding the questionsthough?
Posting online is not planning. Not even a little.

 
Old 01-15-2016, 08:39 PM
 
741 posts, read 350,275 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
Dear Disney and Hollywood:

Please start showing the part after the "happily ever after" line/act. Apparently some girls actually believe that real life is just like the movies.

Sincerely,

300,000,000 Concerned Citizens



That's not a good guy. That's a jerk.

Mature? Screaming at the bartender and random girls? You call that mature?
I mean I just attribute his behavior to his experiences I think
 
Old 01-15-2016, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,788 posts, read 15,527,514 times
Reputation: 24317
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I mean I just attribute his behavior to his experiences I think
What experiences? Being deployed? Being in the military? A lot of people go through the military and don't scream at everyone for every perceived sleight. If he has PTSD, then you better make sure he gets treatment for that, not just think it's "sexy", because it is not a trivial matter.
 
Old 01-15-2016, 08:53 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,533,541 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I think thats totally how it started just wanting to show I can do it and I'm desirable and someone would want me enough to make a baby and then it just spiraled from there
Its understandable.

Listen, I was a typical young woman, no medical issues. I couldn't carry a pregnancy. All my babies died in utero. I adopted. I know disabled people who had babies like rabbits. It isn't a all or nothing issue.

I know many disabled parents...many who are great. Several who are not, too. One of the most amazing parents I have met has a major physical disability and they have had to rely heavily on their partner fr the physical aspects of parenting. But they waited, until 40s to become a parent, because they knew they needed to be 100% stable and have a partner who was able to pick up some of the duties. But they are amazing in almost every aspect of parenting. They always wanted to parent, but they were smart enough to know they had to wait to give their child the best life possible.

I think you should work on your feelings of being desired and loved. Chances are you are a lovely person, and a lovely man will come along and love you like crazy. And you will make beautiful babies. It won't happen until you can love yourself first. Wonderful, healthy, dad ready men don't come along trying to rescue people, or fill them up, or fix them. They want a confident, loving, stable partner. Aim for that.

As for my second post...no, it does seem like you aren't good at planning or your impulses. This doesn't make you "bad". If you can recognize and accept that, then you can build a wonderful life understanding you deficits and getting help to over come them. Do that instead of denying them.
 
Old 01-15-2016, 08:57 PM
 
2,301 posts, read 1,127,023 times
Reputation: 2802
Your bio clock just exploded lol!
 
Old 01-15-2016, 09:04 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,533,541 times
Reputation: 23714
And it isn't "just you". While your issues might be obvious to many, we all have them. We all have to work with and around our issues. No one walks up to life with everything perfect and figured out. If you want to have the best life possible, you humble yourself. You take feedback. You admit your short comings. And you work with them and around them.

You can have a baby...and be a great mom. You just have a lot of work to do before that. I promise you if you had a baby in your arms tomorrow, you would be kicking yourself for not sorting out your own issues before bringing them into the world. If you don't focus on your issues one of two things will happen. 1) best case, you will be trying to play catch up so you don't mess up the kid too badly. 2) you put up walls and ignore your problems and totally mess up your kids...they grow up scarred and broken...but you still don't own it and you live a bad, hate filled life.

Or you focus on getting healthy so you can make a healthy beautiful baby.

I highly suggest you get a good OBGYN check up to out your mind at ease about your ability to have kids and the time you have. I think that will help you soften your fears as you work on you.
 
Old 01-15-2016, 09:08 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,874 posts, read 12,969,834 times
Reputation: 28962
Your reasons for wanting a baby so badly sound purely emotional and not rooted in reality. That's why people are saying your posts suggest you need help. All the motives you describe for having a baby are purely selfish. What a baby can do for you is NOT a basis for being a good mother.
 
Old 01-15-2016, 09:27 PM
 
741 posts, read 350,275 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
And it isn't "just you". While your issues might be obvious to many, we all have them. We all have to work with and around our issues. No one walks up to life with everything perfect and figured out. If you want to have the best life possible, you humble yourself. You take feedback. You admit your short comings. And you work with them and around them.

You can have a baby...and be a great mom. You just have a lot of work to do before that. I promise you if you had a baby in your arms tomorrow, you would be kicking yourself for not sorting out your own issues before bringing them into the world. If you don't focus on your issues one of two things will happen. 1) best case, you will be trying to play catch up so you don't mess up the kid too badly. 2) you put up walls and ignore your problems and totally mess up your kids...they grow up scarred and broken...but you still don't own it and you live a bad, hate filled life.

Or you focus on getting healthy so you can make a healthy beautiful baby.

I highly suggest you get a good OBGYN check up to out your mind at ease about your ability to have kids and the time you have. I think that will help you soften your fears as you work on you.
Thank you I appreciate your patience and kindness. I can wait I don't want to give my kid a crappy life
 
Old 01-15-2016, 09:42 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,533,541 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Thank you I appreciate your patience and kindness. I can wait I don't want to give my kid a crappy life
The do wait. Make a "to do list"

Work on self esteem
Get your career path set
own a home
meet men who will love you for the strong and healthy woman you will become with therapy
Plan your life
and then...when all is well, have a baby.

I promise you 110% that once you hold your child you will know it was meant to be. 5 years or 10 years from now. Let your path lead you. Don't stray. This is the only real way to find happiness.
 
Old 01-15-2016, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Bordentown
1,707 posts, read 1,033,023 times
Reputation: 2533
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So today I realized how much I painfully want to get pregnant immediately. I post on here a ton about all guys and the struggle to find a decent guy. I just didn't realize how much I want it. I spent 4 hours straight between classes talking to anyone who will listen about how badly I want to get pregnant. A girl in my program just got married and is 7 months pregnant and I ex like about to cry when she was describing it. I can not wait to get Ormsby. I'm so obsessed and it's unhealthy like I know that if I get the opportunity to try I will because I want it so much. I just don't know how to not feel like this I mean I think I'm at a point in life where I could have a baby. I will finish grad school in a few months and the military guy I like will be back in 9 months and he wants babies but idk how soon. I mean realistically he should want them sooner than later. I just want to be pregnant so much!
How old are you?

What the heck is Ormsby?
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