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Old 01-14-2016, 08:55 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,676,345 times
Reputation: 40996

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I'm not unhinged for wanting a family at 25


You are for wanting a child when you can't even take care of yourself, much less a plant.

 
Old 01-14-2016, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,836 posts, read 6,608,408 times
Reputation: 7254
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Interestingly enough my therapist has the same license I will (hopefully) have in a month. She just had much more years of work and experience so.... she's only a few years older than me
So what would you tell a patient who presented like you do?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:20 AM
 
635 posts, read 395,776 times
Reputation: 1762
If you really want a baby you can borrow mine for a day or two. She hasn't slept in basically three days so I could really use a break. What's your address, I will FedEx her right over? I don't think this is a real post but if it is you are obviously not ready for a baby. Finish grad school, get a good job, get married (or at least a serious relationship), have fun with being alone with your partner for awhile and then have a baby in that order. What's the rush, being pregnant sucks?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:28 AM
 
Location: God's Country
4,654 posts, read 3,021,438 times
Reputation: 7551
I'm old and unhip but what is "ormsby"?
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,483 posts, read 15,923,785 times
Reputation: 38781
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I mean you can think what you want. I am. I'm not going to get pregnant tomorrow. I'm thinking more when the military guy is back which is summer fall time. I think if I have a job and apartment that's all I need and he will be a happy dad because he wants kids and be supportive and he will have medical and stuff and our income will be decent together I think

As a retired teacher and a parent of two grown children I will tell you that you need to consider your child first. The most well adjusted, happy children grow up in loving, stable, financially secure homes.


If you were my adult child or my niece or my friend, I would recommend waiting at least two years after you were married before you even consider getting pregnant. Heck, it probably will take a couple of years to save up enough money for you to take off of work when you have the baby and to pay for day care when you return to work or to replace your income if you become a SAHM.


Many of my friends and my adult children's friends waiting for even more that two years after they were married. Several waited four or five years after being married so that they would make sure that they had a stable marriage or to buy a house or to save money.


I know someone who just had a baby. Mom is taking several months off of her job and then returning part time and Dad is taking a full month off of his job so they can both bond with their baby and get the baby off to a good start. They planned ahead and are at places in their careers where they can do this (take off of work for so long) plus they saved up the money that they need to live on during their unpaid maternity & paternity leaves.


As a teacher, I have seen far too many young children harmed physically or emotionally or both because of living with a single parent, or their parents fight non-stop because of financial problems or relationship problems. OP, I know that you want the best for your future children. Please wait.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,836 posts, read 6,608,408 times
Reputation: 7254
You need to consider the cost, too.

First-Year Baby Costs Calculator | BabyCenter
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:39 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,616,814 times
Reputation: 5534
Take a cold shower and spend the day with two of your friends toddlers. Guarantee you that it will quench your ovary fires.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:41 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,616,814 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
That's true I do need stability. I should wait but how long? Finding a husband is so hard I've been looking for forever. I was just in a relationship that ended
Why don't you focus on getting a career in the field that you spent so long studying for first? Then you will not only have some time to focus on that but the financial stability in which to raise a child properly.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:44 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,009,413 times
Reputation: 64014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvert Hall '62 View Post
I'm old and unhip but what is "ormsby"?
I think it's a brand of furniture polish.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 09:48 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,616,814 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
I mean you can think what you want. I am. I'm not going to get pregnant tomorrow. I'm thinking more when the military guy is back which is summer fall time. I think if I have a job and apartment that's all I need and he will be a happy dad because he wants kids and be supportive and he will have medical and stuff and our income will be decent together I think
As an entry level almost anything your income is not going to be all that impressive. Most of my friends had pie in the sky dreams about the money they would be making coming out of University. Sure it's still better than someone who didn't have a degree, but it's far from fantastic either.You are going to have to work hard in which to get it there. You getting pregnant right off the bat is going to limit your options, because a lot of jobs aren't going to want to hire you when you might leave several months down the line. Legally they aren't supposed to do that, but they still do it all the time. Reading your posts makes me more inclined to think you are making this decision for your boyfriend rather than yourself. If he isn't willing to stay around because you don't want to settle down right away than that is his problem. You need to focus on you and not him at this point in your life.
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