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Old 01-14-2016, 10:42 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,619,135 times
Reputation: 5534

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Try to find out what is behind that strong desire and if they are trying to fill a void. If so what caused that void and how can we work to fill it now without a husband and babies
Well there you go .

 
Old 01-14-2016, 10:54 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 871,526 times
Reputation: 2402
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Tarabotti View Post
Aren't you the poster who has had 2 relationships (one with a guy who used you and one with a separated man) neither of which lasted more than a few months? The poster whose main goal in life is to get pregnant and is willing to date anybody who can foster that goal? The poster who thinks that any baby of hers will love her forever and ever?

Look, it's not a bad thing to want to have a child. Most women have that goal and some do achieve it. You are being unrealistic about the challenges of having a child. As I said in one of your other threads about this, for the first few years of a child's life, they are takers. They take your time, energy, etc. They require a lot of resources which you don't have at this point in your life. You are still in school with no job. How are you going to take care of this child-how are you going to feed and clothe it, make sure that it's needs are met? You seem to want this child for what it can do for you and not what you can do for it. Please don't have a child at this stage of your life.
Yes she is this poster. Her other posts are just as sad as this one. She goes on a lot of first dates and not very many second ones (most men are good at sensing and running away from desperate women). From her other posts it sounds like the longest relationship she has ever had lasted 3 months and that was the one that involved the separated man who she thought she was absolutely perfect for and couldn't understand why he decided to cool things off. She thought he was perfect for her even though he already has 5 different kids by 2 baby mamas plus a wife (he's 27!). The military guy she talks about I don't remember if she's ever met in person (if she did it was only once) but what they have I wouldn't classify as an actual relationship.

One of her other recent posts she was complaining about going to a friend's bridal shower. She only said yes because she thought she would bring a guy she had just had a first date with to the bridal shower as a second date. Who in the world would think that it would be a good idea to have your second date be at your friend's bridal shower - can we say awkward? Needless to say, it didn't sound like there was going to be a second date with this guy either. Then she went to the bridal shower alone and spent the entire time online chatting with the military guy because there was only one other single guy at the party and he wasn't attractive enough for her to bother talking to.

She positively reeks of desperation and every post she's made virtually every single reply tells her she needs therapy instead of a husband and babies but she doesn't listen. She says she is going to therapy but the story changes on how long she's been going and she ignores what the therapist says anyway (this isn't my interpretation, she says so herself that she can't follow the therapist's advice). I halfway think she might be a troll since it's so hard for me to believe that anyone could be this mentally and emotionally immature yet still be in a graduate program to be a therapist herself.

Last edited by patches403; 01-14-2016 at 11:11 AM..
 
Old 01-14-2016, 10:57 AM
 
741 posts, read 348,711 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jrsygrl51 View Post
Babies are a huge responsibility. Let's not romanticize it. Yes, falling in love and making a baby with that love is awesome....but then it's morning sickness, stretch marks, peeing every 5 minutes, backaches, etc. then it's labor ( talk to me after you've done that) then it's sleepless nights, feedings and diaper changes every 3-4 hours. Shots and sickness, school and after school activities. It's a 24 hour a day job for 18 years. Your life is not your own anymore.
It's one I did 3x, and I do not regret it. Try a puppy first. If you can handle that and all the responsibility that comes with it for a year, then maybe you're ready. Babies cost a lot of money and they deserve a mom who will put them first in everything.
See I think all of that is so cool though. Being pregnant would be amazing. I already know I want a natural birth. I just feel so ready but not. Like other people by 25 are ready and have kids or are pregnant (hence the girl in my program). And my therapist. Idk I just wish I could see how things would be when the military guy is back and if he would be open to it. He should be I would think but idk
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:01 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,619,135 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
See I think all of that is so cool though. Being pregnant would be amazing. I already know I want a natural birth. I just feel so ready but not. Like other people by 25 are ready and have kids or are pregnant (hence the girl in my program). And my therapist. Idk I just wish I could see how things would be when the military guy is back and if he would be open to it. He should be I would think but idk
How long have you two been together? I have two pals that also thought pregnancy would be amazing, and they both ended up with Hyperemesis gravidarum. Often it's not as magical as you envision it's going to be.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:11 AM
 
11,572 posts, read 17,506,588 times
Reputation: 17230
Quote:
Originally Posted by patches403 View Post
Yes she is this poster...
People like the OP just live in this other world of reality. I would say half of what she probably writes is delusional, half is reality. What half is real we may never know. "She" may be a he living in his mom's basement and living online in some fantasy world. We should hope at least, because the life of this "baby" is already doomed.
This is like reading about a train-wreck.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:12 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,731,620 times
Reputation: 38829
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
Being pregnant would be amazing. I already know I want a natural birth.
And what happens when there are complications, and they slice you open for a c-section?

That is exactly what happened to me, and it happens to many other women.
Six weeks to recuperate and lots of limitations.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:12 AM
 
741 posts, read 348,711 times
Reputation: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by patches403 View Post
Yes she is this poster. Her other posts are just as sad as this one. She goes on a lot of first dates and not very many second ones (most men are good at sensing and running away from desperate women). From her other posts it sounds like the longest relationship she has ever had lasted 3 months and that was the one that involved the separated man who she thought she was absolutely perfect for and couldn't understand why he decided to cool things off. She thought he was perfect for her even though he already has 5 different kids by 2 baby mamas plus a wife (he's 27!). The military guy she talks about I don't think she's ever met in person.

One of her other recent posts she was complaining about going to a friend's bridal shower. She only said yes because she thought she would bring a guy she had just had a first date with to the bridal shower as a second date. Who in the world would think that it would be a good idea to have your second date be at your friend's bridal shower - can we say awkward? Needless to say, it didn't sound like there was going to be a second date with this guy either. Then she went to the bridal shower alone and spent the entire time texting with the military guy because there was only one other single guy at the party and he wasn't attractive enough for her to bother talking to.

She positively reeks of desperation and every post she's made virtually every single reply tells her she needs therapy instead of a husband and babies but she doesn't listen. She says she is going to therapy but the story changes on how long she's been going and she ignores what the therapist says anyway. I halfway think she might be a troll since it's so hard for me to believe that anyone could be this mentally and emotionally immature yet still be in a graduate program to be a therapist herself.
Everything you're saying is wrong. So military guy I knew a year and metrecently and he was into me he's talkedabout babies and marriage. The guy I was with for 3 months had 1 child by his ex wife who he was divorcing. The party I didn't want to go to because I hate parties like that and it was dumb AMF being single sucks
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:13 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,731,620 times
Reputation: 38829
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~HecateWhisperCat~ View Post
How long have you two been together?
One date, and he was drunk.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:16 AM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,978,373 times
Reputation: 11120
the op should go volunteer at the hospital new born center or go become a big sister, or help out at foster care. there is so much more than just being "pregnant". you can also have a healthy baby these days in your late 30's early 40's. there is no need to rush, a mature woman wants to have a baby when she is in a steady secure relationship with a person who will stick around and help her raise a happy child.
 
Old 01-14-2016, 11:17 AM
 
12,404 posts, read 9,206,608 times
Reputation: 8863
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gab12 View Post
So today I realized how much I painfully want to get pregnant immediately. I post on here a ton about all guys and the struggle to find a decent guy. I just didn't realize how much I want it. I spent 4 hours straight between classes talking to anyone who will listen about how badly I want to get pregnant. A girl in my program just got married and is 7 months pregnant and I ex like about to cry when she was describing it. I can not wait to get Ormsby. I'm so obsessed and it's unhealthy like I know that if I get the opportunity to try I will because I want it so much. I just don't know how to not feel like this I mean I think I'm at a point in life where I could have a baby. I will finish grad school in a few months and the military guy I like will be back in 9 months and he wants babies but idk how soon. I mean realistically he should want them sooner than later. I just want to be pregnant so much!
You need patience before you can handle kids, not after.
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