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Old 01-14-2016, 08:25 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
10,061 posts, read 9,305,978 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
Bonnie Jean is right. Kids are great when they're little, but they grow up and leave the house, and then its like you have a disease. And she's right, many don't seem to appreciate what you did for them.
Maybe that's how it is with some kids, but there are also many who are grateful and are not so self centered. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents (who are divorced). The relationship I have with my mother is an endearing one that has spanned 40 years and between two states. I will forever be indebted to my parents for all of the sacrifices they made to get me to where I am today and I can't express my gratitude enough. And of course my mom says "Well you turned out to be a good person and that's all I can ask for", but still. As long as we are both alive, she will never have to worry about anything because I will take care of her. (She's incredibly independent so I'll probably have to fight her on that one )


Relationships like that take time and are cultivated from childhood.
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Old 01-14-2016, 08:51 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,489,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashpelham View Post
Pros: their beautiful smiling faces. How they love their little pets.

Cons: when they become teens. From that time on, until they begin their lives as self-providing adults, it's nothing but a money drain. That makes me a miserable person, as if I wasn't to begin with.
This is sooooooo sad but not at all universal. My two adult sons were great most of their teen years. That was when I got to really know who they were as humans. It was tough at times, I won't lie. But so much of it was great. In some ways it was like their very early years when their personalities began to form. The tough times were heavily outweighed by the good times. And now I get to look at two young men who are kind of amazing (with all their faults and mistakes) and take a deep breath...I helped form those men. It is like the cherry on the top.
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Old 01-14-2016, 08:54 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,489,790 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
Best: when they're little


Worst: the Ingratitude
If you had kids expecting gratitude, you really had kids for the wrong reason.

Sometimes kids are grateful...usually later in life. But don't ever have kids expecting that...you will be disappointed. Honestly, you chose to have them, they didn't chose to have you. They owe you nothing.
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Old 01-14-2016, 09:11 PM
 
874 posts, read 1,033,964 times
Reputation: 1589
Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise View Post
Maybe that's how it is with some kids, but there are also many who are grateful and are not so self centered. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents (who are divorced). The relationship I have with my mother is an endearing one that has spanned 40 years and between two states. I will forever be indebted to my parents for all of the sacrifices they made to get me to where I am today and I can't express my gratitude enough. And of course my mom says "Well you turned out to be a good person and that's all I can ask for", but still. As long as we are both alive, she will never have to worry about anything because I will take care of her. (She's incredibly independent so I'll probably have to fight her on that one )


Relationships like that take time and are cultivated from childhood.
Too funny. It's the exact same story for me, except my parents are still together and I have a great relationship with both. I am grateful beyond words to my parents and, whenever I even try to pay them back (which is impossible, but I try!), they refuse and say they're just thrilled that I am happy. So we're all happy. I can't even find the words to explain how lucky I am, but I often joke that I won the parental lottery.

To everyone else, I've loved reading your replies. Some of them were super-sweet. I really want to have kids someday, and you all made me even more excited.
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Old 01-14-2016, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Caribou, Me.
4,861 posts, read 3,513,743 times
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The worst in my book are when they get really hurt, or come close to it. I have been literally traumatized one time by an incident with our wee one.
Another weird thing that is so hard for me is a series of photos we had taken of one of sons (portraits) when he was three. I know it's strange, but I can't look at them (they are on our living room wall) without becoming completely overcome. Something about the age and the way he looks in the pictures just does me in; "Cute and innocent" do not even come close to describing the essence of him in those pics. It is too much for me to take (any other pics of him are fine, he's just an adorable little guy in the other ones!!). I avoid looking at those ones of him at age three, because I know I will instantly become a giant, helpless blob of blubber inside, just totally destroyed by the look on his face, and the sweetness of him (and again "sweetness" really doesn't suffice). It breaks my heart, but not in the usual, terrible way, if that makes any sense.


The best moments are when they are truly, truly happy and satisfied, and you know they are having a wonderful moment.

Last edited by maineguy8888; 01-14-2016 at 09:53 PM..
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Old 01-14-2016, 09:43 PM
 
Location: Caribou, Me.
4,861 posts, read 3,513,743 times
Reputation: 3402
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Pros: My kids.
Cons: Babies! And learning about positive, encouraging discipline (less obvious than one might think). And having your heart walk dangerously outside your body for the rest of your life.

It is wonderful. And worth it. When you are ready. It is easiest with a committed loving partner. I have no direct experience, but I suspect it is much harder alone.

I just love how you worded that second sentence......
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Old 01-14-2016, 10:43 PM
 
Location: Portlandish, OR
899 posts, read 1,447,183 times
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no sleep and so much pee. years and years of pee everywhere.
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Old 01-15-2016, 04:41 AM
 
Location: western East Roman Empire
6,112 posts, read 10,150,825 times
Reputation: 4850
Quote:
Originally Posted by Techno Geek 101 View Post
Whats the best and worst about being a parent
Im young and learning and since most of my friends think having a kid is easy.
Can you please tell me a story if it's really easy or hard?
What are the pros and cons?
Love.

Disobedience.

Free will is the essence of creation.
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Old 01-15-2016, 06:29 AM
 
5,016 posts, read 4,826,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wideworld View Post
I really want to have kids someday, and you all made me even more excited.
Then you should someday. But don't be so excited. I would highly (and I do mean highly) recommend that you enjoy this kid-less portion of your life.

Balancing kids, a career, and other parts of life can get completely overwhelming and most of your nights will be doing all you can to get them to go to bed so you can have 30 minutes to yourself, but wait! There’s still a sink full of dishes and 2 loads of laundry (and you still haven’t put away the loads from 3 days ago!) and you just discovered that there is water all over the bathroom floor because the friggin’ kid didn’t listen to you again, and as you get a towel to mop it up your boss texts you and asks you to prepare something for tomorrows 8am meeting – and so much other stuff.

So what will you do? You will lay on your bed, exhausted, stressed, and surrounded by filth. And if you’re lucky, you won’t have to “discuss” that you didn’t appreciate the way your spouse talked to you yesterday or the way you talked to him/her (because you’re both under stress at work). You’ll ask him/her to help out more with the housework or homework or whatever and after a small argument about what you do and what he/she does he/she does, will say ok and only do it for a night or two and then get back in the same pattern. I can go on but bottom line is not to get too excited over the “sweet” stuff because most of the day to day is not enjoyable.

I’ll say this as a positive – it ain’t boring. And your life is completely full. So in that way, it’s satisfying.

Depending on who you are (easy going/high strung/clean freak/control freak/etc) and depending on what your kid is like (hopefully, sweet and compliant) and your spouse and your relationship with your spouse, things could work out ok or be really hard. Unfortunately, there are many variables that, when taken together and examined rationally, leave more room for bad than for good. So when there is a moment of good, it feels REALLY good.

I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble but for most, the baseline is bad. I’ve ahd it really tough with a really tough kid who has a really tough personality. I try hard but I’m beaten down and tired, so is my wife. Enjoy this childless time and I wish you luck with your future.
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Old 01-15-2016, 07:22 AM
 
372 posts, read 243,878 times
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One of the best things about being a parent is the memories of specific interactions with my kids. Just this week my 5 year old twins and I were driving to school. I asked my daughter, who is older her or her brother, as they were celebrating their birthday the day after. Well, she knows she is 1 minute younger, so instead of answering she said "Who's bigger?". I have been smiling about that answer all week.

One of the worse is when a caregiver relates too much information about something your kid did. Unless it's something unusual, I don't care to hear it as 99% of the time it's negative.
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