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Old 01-15-2016, 11:34 AM
 
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Not being in agreement/full support with your spouse on your parental efforts. This will torpedo any effort.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:37 PM
 
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It's the hardest, most thankless job that you'll ever love. My three 'bosses' are demanding and often ungrateful.. but they're also turning into really cool people, so there's that.

It's NOT easy-- it's a marathon, with no sick days, a good bit of stress and worry (and that's if you have neuro-typical and healthy kids!)-- it's expensive and ridiculously time consuming and it's AWESOME. But it's not to be entered into lightly-- and preferably only doing so with BOTH a solid partnership and with healthy finances.

Too many people think about "having a baby!" and focus on all the gadgets and cute clothing and completely neglect to think about raising a PERSON and what that all entails. Much like there's a huge focus on wedding planning and an utter lack of forethought of what it's actually like to be married and all that entails.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:55 PM
 
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the best?
so many to choose from...probably my current favorite is having a conversation with my 5-6-7 year old and her always amazing me, watching and listening to her grow so fast...her communication skills noticeably improving almost daily...just watching her mature...its amazing
con:
discipline...the worrying about everything that can possibly happen to them...

my youngest is totally obsessed with stranger danger...she worries about it ALL the time seemingly...
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Old 01-15-2016, 02:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellysbelly View Post
...most thankless job that you'll ever love. .
I think the "thanks" comes later in life when they grow up. Two of my adult sons have written me the most amazing letters thanking me. They will remember small tidbits that made a huge impact in their lives that at the time no one thought anything of it.

Pros:
~It is fun most of the time

Cons:
~Can be heartbreaking when something happens to them that hurts them.
~You never stop worrying about them.
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Old 01-15-2016, 03:55 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 608,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
If you had kids expecting gratitude, you really had kids for the wrong reason.

Sometimes kids are grateful...usually later in life. But don't ever have kids expecting that...you will be disappointed. Honestly, you chose to have them, they didn't chose to have you. They owe you nothing.
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Old 01-15-2016, 04:06 PM
 
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The worst: they go from loving little kids to rebellious, hateful, unappreciative teenagers
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Old 01-15-2016, 04:07 PM
 
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I haven't read all the posts, so perhaps these have already been covered, but the worst things, imo, are:

First and foremost is the WORRY. From the day they come home until the day they die, WORRYING NEVER STOPS!

Second place: School. Although I would never homeschool, public school education has gotten so horrible because so little is expected from the kids in any area, that I felt as though my efforts to teach responsibility were counteracted by school policies. (This is no reflection on the teachers, however!)

Third place: The influence of popular culture and the accessibility of the Internet.

The best things? (1) Sharing family times and traditions, and (2) when your child does something completely unexpected thoughtful and/or kind to someone else.
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Old 01-15-2016, 04:22 PM
 
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Pros:
1. You have an opportunity to learn a lot more about yourself and the world you live in.
2. Having kids takes your attention off of YOU and makes you a more thoughtful, inquisitive person.
3. Kids bring a lot of fun and joy into your life.
4. If you take your role of parenting seriously, and you make sure to do a good job, you will never do anything else with your life that you will feel more proud of or better about. I could swim the English Channel, climb the highest mountain, or find a cure for cancer, but still raising my kids and being a good mom will be firmly at the very top of my list as far as the best thing I've ever done with my life.


Cons:
1. You pretty much feel broke all the time, even if you're really not. And not just money-broke. Emotionally and mentally and physically it can wear you down, too. Especially during the early years when they are little.
2. The "phases" they go through can be tricky or rough at times. My oldest is at the "I'm an adult and I know everything" phase and... it sucks. (He's 20 and lives with us.) He's a good kid and makes good choices, but I really cannot wait until he moves out.
3. Dealing with the public schools. Our youngest has 2.5 more years and then we are done and we are gonna celebrate! SO sick and tired of dealing with the public schools. But private school is so very expensive. (See Con. #1.) And there's no guarantee that you won't face some or all of the same issues regardless of whether you homeschool, do private school, charter school, or whatever. The education system in America is so screwed-up, it really should be number one on this Con list, as it is the worst and most difficult part of parenting.
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Old 01-15-2016, 04:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mo8414 View Post
Its pretty easy as long as you have stable income. You always see people whine about how its a 24 hour job and how you never get a break and all that. I just dont see how they think its so hard. I could see it if your child is mentally or physically disabled but not with normal kids.

The biggest thing that bothers me as a parent is when my kid is really sick. He used to get croop all the time. He also had seizures for about 4 years before growing out of them, luckily. That really puts some mileage on ya as a parent. School is another challenge especially now that every little thing has to be taken too serious.

It gets easier as they get older and are able to do things more and more on their own. I'm also the type of parent that never says, I cant wait till they get back in school like I always see ppl say on social media when kids are on break. Thats my perspective on having to raise a pretty much normal child in a two parent home. If you are prone to being stressed out or have anxiety issues, are going to be a single parent than it may be a completly differant experience.
I have to agree with this. As long as your kids are not mentally or physically disabled, kids aren't too difficult past the age of 4, but only IF:

-You properly discipline your child. I'm talking about behavioral modification techniques that teach kids consequences. Spanking is rarely constructive.

-You have stable middle class income or higher (and you are financially responsible and frugal) and a supportive spouse and extended family. Raising children is something that entire communities have always done in the past, it's only a modern phenomenon where two or one people take all the burden of parenting, so there's nothing wrong with getting help from family especially during the first couple years.

-You are not a hover parent or force your children to do things they don't want to do. I do require my children to eat properly, exercise properly, sleep properly, and give it their best shot in academic endeavors, but I don't force them to play soccer, play piano, or partake in the science fair projects if they try it and just really don't like it. It's good to expose children to new things, but if they don't like it, don't force it on them.

-You are not an overprotective worry wart. Worrying changes nothing, and is not constructive. I rarely lose sleep over my kids now that they have consistent wake/sleep times.

I love kids - they are much more fun than work past the age of about 4-5. Going to parks, the zoo, watching movies, museums, and just in general hanging out is much more interesting with kids. Adults are boring and usually have lost touch with the magic of everyday things.

Last edited by BongoBungo; 01-15-2016 at 05:15 PM..
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Old 01-15-2016, 05:53 PM
 
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The biggest PRO: Was those times when the kids all played together happily, laughing innocently while genuinely caring about each other.

The biggest CON: Watching the children go through terrible mental anguish, whether it be the passing of their mother, or hurting themselves.

Overall, I'm a bit dissatisfied with myself. I could have done better raising them in many respects, but am happy they appear to be turning out OK despite this.
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