Parents of City Data, please tell me the best and worst things about being a parent?
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Pros: watching them grow from tiny people into, hopefully, happy, accomplished, intelligent and compassionate adults. All of the little things you witness as they go through all of the stages of development. Watching them learn, their curiosity blossom and develop their unique and individual personalities and traits. The little moments that you treasure, the smiles, giggles, first moments, laughs, the looks of delight on their faces, and heart-to-heart moments. All of the snuggles, hugs, kisses, and quiet moments of singing them to sleep, comforting them or reading them a story. Sharing passions and interests. Witnessing their accomplishments and their desire to share and experience their interests with us.
I was pretty close to my parents during my childhood and adolescence, and they shared so much with me that shaped who I am and my interests and passions, some of which evolved overtime and became my own thing. I have done very similar things with my own kids.
Cons: it's different for each kid as they have different personalities and individual characteristics and temperaments. Different stages were more challenging than others depending on the kid. But it can be exhausting -- mentally, emotionally and physically. And, you know, having to hide to eat treats in peace, 'cause the moment you open a treat or eat something delicious they hear you. It's like they have superhuman hearing! Each kid is different, and my relationship is unique to each, based on their individual needs, personality and temperament.
It's truly fascinating seeing my husband with our 14 month old daughter, his first. He is so incredibly involved and hands-on. He's so enamored and fascinated by her and seeing her grow, develop and learn new things. There's five years between her and my son, and after having my older three moving through these early stages was not new to me. But it was interesting that I was just as fascinated watching my fourth baby grow and develop into the little toddler she is just as I was with my first. This stage isn't new to me, but she is her own person, and *this* experience is new, it's different, unique to her.
The most precious moments are sometimes when they are sleeping. It's like, you've had a crappy day and snapped more than you should, no one cooperated, and they were extra whiny... but it's all forgotten when you peek in and see them sound asleep. A few weeks ago, my 5 year old had climbed in with me in the middle of the night, and I woke up in the morning before he did and I was captivated by the innocence of a sleeping child. And then he woke up a few minutes later and asked "Where you watching me while I was sleeping?" like it creeped him out, lol.
I'm not a parent, but one thing I love about babies and toddlers is when they've discovered something they've never seen before and they get that intense, almost frowning look of concentration on their face as they inspect it. You can practically see/hear their little brains taking in the new data and learning from it. It's so adorable.
Parenting is a weird job: For most, if you do it right, you do yourself out of a job. :-) I think a lot of parents overlookt that. Your average kids that grows up to be caring, self-sufficient adults who are contributing members of society and who (generally) make good decisions is a sign that you probably nailed your parenting gig. And in the case of kids with mental, physical or emotional challenges, then just making sure that they are the best version of themselves that they can be is also a success story.
Plus, you have to be able to know exactly when to move from 'parent' to 'life coach'. A 19 year old doesn't necessarily need parenting in terms of curfews, restrictions, etc. - but they do need to know that their parents are people that they can come to to discuss all the challenges that come with becoming an adult.
Is being on duty 24/7/365/18 years hard work? Duh. Whoever said it's not isn't doing it right. :-) It is also one of the most satisfying and compelling of human experiences. Not only does your child(ren) grow in abilities and understanding, they also cause you to grow in ways that you would have never anticipated. It's a paradox -- it is life at it's most basic, and also life at it's most complicated.
The only people who think having children is "easy" are people who have never had children -- or have only had babies, and never had to negotiate with a 5 year old terrorist over bedtime. :-) There are always going to be life events to negotiate -- infancy, toddlers, schools, relationships with family and friends, changing interests, talents to nurture, learning how to drive, helping them learn how to make good decisions, and at the same time, allowing them to experience the consequences for the not-so-good decisions. For most parents, it's a constant learning process.
I've never been gooey over infants -- my favorite periods of childhood were the "exploring" years, 3-6, and, oddly enough, the teenage years, when they are learning to think with reason and logic (But aren't necessarily adept at it. :-) ), and they're getting just enough life experience to develop passionate opinions on topics.
Last edited by dblackga; 01-17-2016 at 09:59 PM..
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