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Old 01-16-2016, 09:15 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,923 posts, read 4,232,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skyegirl View Post
When my daughter turned 16, I made her first appointment with an OB/GYN, let me preface this with she was not dating anyone and was not sexually active. When she asked if I was coming to her appt with her I said no, this was her doctor and I wanted her to be able to be open and honest about her body, birth control or any and all questions she might have for the Dr. She chose to go on birth control at that time, more so for shorter periods/cramps, but I was happy to know that she was covered if the boyfriend appeared (he did, she's 19 and has been dating him since she was 17). But more than anything, I wanted her to know this was her body, her decisions were just that- her decisions, and that honoring herself was the most important thing. OP, I would make her an appointment, just my 2 cents.
This is my plan with my older two daughters. We've already discussed it. I started talking openly and candidly about it pretty early on.

My mom took me to see an OB/GYN when I was 16 and had been sexually active for a few months. She encouraged birth control, and that's what I chose, implant-based birth control, no pills or anything with high chance of user failure. I'll likely encourage the same when my oldest hits that age.
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:36 AM
 
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I have two adult daughters in college, who have never been pregnant. They were both on birth control when they started expressing an interest in dating. It was never presented to them as a choice. It was a very matter of fact thing. Biology is against you. Everything in our evolution tries to get girls pregnant young. This way, when you have that evening when you both lose your minds and things "Just happen" you will not end up being a slave to biology.
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Old 01-16-2016, 11:06 AM
 
635 posts, read 396,107 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
Agreed. I'm not prude, but good grief! My daughters were both college age before they had sex. To "put" a kid on birth control at 15 or so just because, seems a little extreme.



I'm not familiar with the course, but I def agree with the bold.
You might find it extreme but I wasn't going to take any chances. My daughter was a good kid but I honestly have no idea when she lost her virginity. Most kids lose their virginity in high school (maybe even middle school) so I would rather put my teen on birth control and not need it than take my chances and wind up with an unwanted pregnancy. I know we all like to think that we know exactly what our teens are doing but the truth is that sometimes kids are having sex and we have no idea about it.

Anyway, I was a teen mom myself and I didn't want my daughter to have the same type of struggles that I had. I also didn't want to end up a 32 year old grandmother and have to sacrifice my life to raise her baby. I don't regret what I did because I watched half her friends get pregnant and drop out of school and now my daughter is going to college, working and living independently on her own.
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Old 01-16-2016, 11:59 AM
 
10,403 posts, read 7,488,333 times
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TAKE her to the OB/GYN. She's probably due a PAP anyway. Let the doctor convince her because she's probably active anyway. It's embarrassing, I'm sure, mostly because she knows how she's been taught and being sexually active isn't it. Oh well.

I took my son in for some "situation" he had going on "down there". I thought it was jock itch. Nope. Worse. AND the doctor is the one who informed me my son was sexually active. I was so naive. Don't be that mom.
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Old 01-16-2016, 12:26 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,429 times
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My daughter had a lot of boy friends.


And yes, they were just friends.


She hadn't even been kissed age 19


she was too busy to bother she said


then she fell in love at about 21


She is smart enough to take her own bc


so is your daughter imo
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Old 01-16-2016, 01:44 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 11 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,301 posts, read 50,558,025 times
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My daughter started dating her first long-term boyfriend at 14. I told her that first and foremost, sex had to be HER decision. Do not do it if you don't want to just to keep a boyfriend or because he is pressuring you. YOU decide. I also told her that when she was ready, I would take her for her for birth control and that she should do that before having sex.

It also helped that her cousin whom she can't stand had gotten pregnant at 19 and was left living on welfare and food stamps and was a general mess, serving as a great bad example of what not to do.

Shortly after her 16th birthday, she reminded me of that and asked if I could make an appointment because "there isn't much 'before' time left". Later I realized they probably decided to do the deed for their two-year anniversary, which was coming up. She said, "Do you want me to tell you when I do it?" I said "NO. That is private, between you and him." But truth is, I really didn't want to know, lol.

Anyway, I took her, and she went on bc pills, and after that she was on her own to maintain her appointments. She broke up with the guy in their second year of college.

Now she is 24, doesn't ever want children, and wants her tubes tied, but that's a different story, and she has to figure this one out on her own.

Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 01-16-2016 at 01:53 PM..
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Old 01-16-2016, 01:56 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,864 posts, read 18,910,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Did you have fibroids? I had my fibroids removed a few months before and then had an IUD (I had also had several "awake" uterine procedures, some with pain), I had a little pressure, no pain and no bleeding at all. My doctor did tell me if I didn't have the fibroids removed first, I could have a lot of bleeding and pain. My mom had an IUD 30+ years ago. She told me it was super easy. But she did lose the string after only a couple months and had to go have it removed, which was a bit harder. But she didn't seem to make a big deal out of it.
No fibroids...I had an ultrasound just before the IUD was inserted, so they would have seen them. The doctor was the same one who had done most of my biopsies. The nurses were always amazed that the doc and I could chat through the biopsy, because it's really painful to most people. The bleeding that I had for the months after the IUD was a lot of clots, and then the IUD came out on its own...I was on a long bike ride and I had a sudden very bad cramp, and then it was out. I had really heavy bleeding after that, which was the problem the IUD was supposed to correct in the first place.
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Old 01-16-2016, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,992 posts, read 98,847,978 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
TAKE her to the OB/GYN. She's probably due a PAP anyway. Let the doctor convince her because she's probably active anyway. It's embarrassing, I'm sure, mostly because she knows how she's been taught and being sexually active isn't it. Oh well.

I took my son in for some "situation" he had going on "down there". I thought it was jock itch. Nope. Worse. AND the doctor is the one who informed me my son was sexually active. I was so naive. Don't be that mom.
It is now recommended to start paps at age 21, regardless of prior sexual activity.
Pap and HPV Testing - National Cancer Institute

An OB/Gyn would be fine, so would a family practice doc where she might not stick out like a sore thumb around all the pregnant ladies.
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Old 01-16-2016, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,379 posts, read 7,140,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
You don't carry around an IUD, they are implanted. Are you thinking diaphragm? Lots of docs won't prescribe or insert an IUD to a young patient who has not yet had kids due to the risk of perforation.
Actually, that concern has gone out the window. I know I had a bit of a time getting one because I hadn't had kids and got grilled on the number of sexual partners I had! Well, teenagers are unlikely to have already had a child and are more likely to have multiple partners (or strings of partners) yet IUDs are now the contraception of choice because there's nothing to remember once it is inserted.
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Old 01-16-2016, 02:35 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,429 times
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I remember meeting a woman


parent of a teenage boy


I told her my daughter had never been kissed (she was about 15 then)


She gasped, put her hand to her mouth and said "I'm sorry" like I'd just told her she had cancer or something
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