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Old 01-18-2016, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,047 posts, read 37,675,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
She's picking up the fact that you think your goal in life is to find some man who will marry you and take care of you, instead of doing the hard work yourself to create the life you want and think you deserve. So of course she's fixated on what's missing, since that's what she's learning from you.
Yep ^^^.
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Old 01-18-2016, 06:55 PM
 
2,084 posts, read 793,432 times
Reputation: 4055
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
My 12 year old daughter wants a father. When she was younger or when my sons father was in our lives, it was not something that really effected us. But now she wants one and I have never been able to remarry so it is unlikely I will find her one.

She has been in therapy for years over this issue.

Anyone else have a tween daughter that has missed out on a father relationship? How did you handle it?
Be careful of letting male relatives or friends do this. There are too many examples of molestation occurring in these relationships.
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Old 01-18-2016, 09:16 PM
 
Location: USA
2,431 posts, read 1,796,377 times
Reputation: 3818
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
She's picking up the fact that you think your goal in life is to find some man who will marry you and take care of you, instead of doing the hard work yourself to create the life you want and think you deserve. So of course she's fixated on what's missing, since that's what she's learning from you. Try focusing on yourself and making your own life for yourself and your family instead of expecting some man to come along to do it for you.

And if your goal is marriage, that's fine, but stop wasting your time dating a man who doesn't have the same goal.
Sounds like a friend of mine with a daughter who is a yr. younger. When the relationship falls through, the mom will quickly have another man into their lives. It's sad & God pray that none of these men have done anything inappropriate with her daughter. She's teaching her child to be dependent on a man.

Last edited by HappyFarm34; 01-18-2016 at 09:29 PM..
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Old 01-18-2016, 10:03 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,276,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
My 12 year old daughter wants a father. When she was younger or when my sons father was in our lives, it was not something that really effected us. But now she wants one and I have never been able to remarry so it is unlikely I will find her one.

She has been in therapy for years over this issue.

Anyone else have a tween daughter that has missed out on a father relationship? How did you handle it?
If it wasn't an issue before, why has she been in therapy for years over it?
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Old 01-19-2016, 05:36 AM
 
Location: rural south west UK
2,808 posts, read 1,729,333 times
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she will find boys will fill the void fairly soon, if she hasn't already.
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Old 01-19-2016, 06:00 AM
 
Location: USA
2,431 posts, read 1,796,377 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigpaul View Post
she will find boys will fill the void fairly soon, if she hasn't already.
And it would be wise to teach her about birth control or she may end up getting pregnant at 15 believing some guy loves her.
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Old 01-19-2016, 07:14 AM
 
2,379 posts, read 4,283,584 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I am dating my boyfriend after her insistence. Our kids pushed us together. She would love me to marry my boyfriend now, but marriage does not seem to be his goal. So I have just accepted to enjoy him while he is in our lives and not expect more.

When my kids reach adulthood, I am moving somewhere warm. Maybe that is when I will meet a husband, but if not, then I have me to count on.

Does your daughter know this? I think a child would find this "I'm outta here" attitude upsetting.
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Old 01-19-2016, 07:38 AM
 
11,229 posts, read 9,228,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Sounds like a friend of mine with a daughter who is a yr. younger. When the relationship falls through, the mom will quickly have another man into their lives. It's sad & God pray that none of these men have done anything inappropriate with her daughter. She's teaching her child to be dependent on a man.
It is sad. Unfortunately Mom also did not think of giving her children a father when choosing who that sperm donor might be.
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Old 01-19-2016, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Long Neck , DE
4,903 posts, read 2,768,404 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
It is sad. Unfortunately Mom also did not think.

In too many cases that says it ALL right there.
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Old 01-19-2016, 09:47 AM
 
2,054 posts, read 983,643 times
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Have you said where her biological father is?

She does have a father, doesn't she? What is the reason that he doesn't see her? Would she be disappointed to find out what kind of man he is/was?
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