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Perhaps the motivation behind the OP's concern is not one of delving into something that is not his/her business, but one of genuine concern for their son's happiness.
I have a couple of close friends who are in their 40's and have never had intimate relationships (to my knowledge). I (and others around them) have concluded that they are probably either asexual or gay, though they have never confirmed this. These people are smart, attractive, wonderful people with lots to offer. The fact that they have not experienced a strong physical and emotional relationship with another person makes me kind of sad for them, because I think having those things is a necessary component to being a happy, healthy adult.
That's being presumptuous on your part to assume they aren't happy and healthy just because they don't and have never had an intimate relationship. Parents shouldn't also assume their child's happiness level.
Maybe they simply been unlucky in finding love, maybe they don't want to be in a relationship, etc. Who knows, but it doesn't make them gay, or even asexual.
That's being presumptuous on your part to assume they aren't happy and healthy just because they don't and have never had an intimate relationship. Parents shouldn't also assume their child's happiness level.
Maybe they simply been unlucky in finding love, maybe they don't want to be in a relationship, etc. Who knows, but it doesn't make them gay, or even asexual.
I think they are happy overall in their lives, but I still think there is a higher level of intimacy and sharing that can only be obtained through romantic one on one relationships. And I am left to presume because it's not something they discuss in detail, and I never press the issue because that would be getting too much into something that's not my business.
But, you bring up some very valid points. The "unlucky" part is a good observation and possibility, and often people are very private about that. Not to mention that in avoiding relationships, you can often avoid pain.
I am 25 and my younger brother is 3 years apart from me. He lives with my parents in the high desert, while I stayed back in the city because of my friends. As to my knowledge, he has never had a girlfriend or dated at all. Now since he lives in the middle of nowhere (practically) he doesn't even SEE girls. However, it is like he has no interest in them anyhow....
I think it has to do with the fact that he isn't DOING anything. He just sits in his room and plays video games and such. Plus my mom BABIES him like no other because i left in such a reckless state he is her "good child" so she is in no hurry to rush him out of the house.
People usually meet others (potential lovers) in environments like work and school - if they are not attending either of these places... i think it's natural that they wouldn't be super interested... I just cross my fingers that he isn't gay. Not that anything is wrong with that!! i have many gay friends, he is just my only brother and I'd like our family name to be carried down. I'd also would like to be an aunt to his kids one day...
I mean, never dated, never had any kind of contact with the opposite sex, no female friends etc. This is just an hypothetical question.
Well, my father's approach when I was a single 24 year old was to call me at work specifically to ask me what was so wrong with me I couldn't attract a man. I highly recommend you DON'T do that. It leaves scars. Very, very deep ones. My response was perhaps he and mom should have made me better looking as I tried really hard to keep the tears out of my voice.
Wonder what dear ol' dad would've thought if he knew his little reject wasn't as sweet and innocent as he thought she was?
I am 25 and my younger brother is 3 years apart from me. He lives with my parents in the high desert, while I stayed back in the city because of my friends. As to my knowledge, he has never had a girlfriend or dated at all. Now since he lives in the middle of nowhere (practically) he doesn't even SEE girls. However, it is like he has no interest in them anyhow....
I think it has to do with the fact that he isn't DOING anything. He just sits in his room and plays video games and such. Plus my mom BABIES him like no other because i left in such a reckless state he is her "good child" so she is in no hurry to rush him out of the house.
People usually meet others (potential lovers) in environments like work and school - if they are not attending either of these places... i think it's natural that they wouldn't be super interested... I just cross my fingers that he isn't gay. Not that anything is wrong with that!! i have many gay friends, he is just my only brother and I'd like our family name to be carried down. I'd also would like to be an aunt to his kids one day...
Here's hoping!
He doesn't work, socialize, do anything? And your mom thinks that is a good thing? That amazes me that parents do not want their kids to become adults.
I mean, never dated, never had any kind of contact with the opposite sex, no female friends etc. This is just an hypothetical question.
I think that at 24, you should try to make some friends of the opposite sex. I'm a minister, so naturally, I'd recommend that you find a church with a good singles ministry. Some denominations are seeker and agnostic friendly. United Church of Christ, Unitarian Universality, are two.
If you are not Christian or you can not find such a group, try online dating.
Dude, it's time.
Also, look into some Meetups. These are groups of people who share common interests. For example, hiking, biking, folk dancing, or eating out. Give them a try.
Perhaps the motivation behind the OP's concern is not one of delving into something that is not his/her business, but one of genuine concern for their son's happiness.
I have a couple of close friends who are in their 40's and have never had intimate relationships (to my knowledge). I (and others around them) have concluded that they are probably either asexual or gay, though they have never confirmed this. These people are smart, attractive, wonderful people with lots to offer. The fact that they have not experienced a strong physical and emotional relationship with another person makes me kind of sad for them, because I think having those things is a necessary component to being a happy, healthy adult.
Good point^
I have a friend who has a brother and a sister. They are all in their late 50s and none of them ever married. The younger sister did date some when she was in her 20s. The older one never went out on a date and apparently just isn't interested. The same with their brother. The two sisters now live together.
One of my college roommates who became a doctor was always getting asked out as she was cute and outgoing. She would go out on a date with a guy, then tell me that he "didn't turn her on". She never got married and her widowed mother has lived with her for years. Her two brothers never married either, although one was in a long term relationship for a while.
Some people just aren't interested in getting married or even dating. They are perfectly happy being the way they are.
As for your last sentence, now that both these women I know are older, I have often wondered how life will be for them as they age.
Age alone doesn't tell us much. Is he unattractive? Is he nerdy/geeky or otherwise eccentric? Is he overweight? Is he shy/socially awkward?
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I'm familiar OP...
he is her "good child" so she is in no hurry to rush him out of the house.
