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Old 01-24-2016, 05:18 PM
 
563 posts, read 352,872 times
Reputation: 1153

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Quote:
Originally Posted by westwind15 View Post
My daughter was a dream child, so well behaved, until she was about 13. Then she became an arrogant, obnoxious jerk most of the time. I kept a lid on the major things. She gets excellent grades, has nice friends, no signs of drugs or drinking, and is beloved to other adults, who think she is beyond wonderful. She saves all of her abuse for me.

Now she is 18. and thinks it a total free-for-all in making Mom miserable. After work, I'd rather be anywhere but home. She knows everything there ever was to know, will argue for hours, and is if you try to escape, she will follow you from room to room and just won't quit. Her bedroom is an absolute pigsty and she refuses to clean it. She insults and berates me constantly. She does not lift a finger around the house, and refuses to get any kind of part time job. She is in her last semester of high school. Though she is 18, and a legal adult (as she reminds me regularly), I can't toss her out no matter what she does, under MA laws, which keep these kids babies for far too long. These brats can live on their own, go to college in basket weaving. and collect child support from both parents up to age 23! Yes, 23.

She does not think she has to do anything that I say. She refuses and says "you can't do anything to me". What exactly can I do? I can't take away her personal possessions as she is a legal adult (again MA law, thank you so much). I can't toss her out. She has me over a barrel and she knows it. She claims she is joining the military in July. I sure hope so. Do I just never come home until July?

Ideas?
Deport her. Cut your losses.
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:20 PM
 
619 posts, read 323,754 times
Reputation: 1633
Default I didn't read the whole thread

But I am finding the Ops attitude disturbing.

This is your child. Yes, she's 18, but she's still a kid, still in hs. So she had a bit of an attitude problem. What teen doesn't. Some have attitude when they're ten, others when they're 17 or 19. Count your blessings that she is a good kid, a good student, not doing drugs. You should be helping her make decisions about her life, guiding her on a path, not hoping she'll join you military to straighten out (not that there is anything wrong with joining the military!! But she should join for the right reasons).

I find your post very sad. I am a mom too. My son and I have had challenges but I raised him with live and respect. If he had attitude, he was punished or put in his place. But through it all, through the tough teen years, he knew that even when I was mad at him I always loved him.
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Old 01-24-2016, 09:57 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,504,080 times
Reputation: 10764
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shira_k View Post
But I am finding the Ops attitude disturbing.

This is your child. Yes, she's 18, but she's still a kid, still in hs. So she had a bit of an attitude problem. What teen doesn't. Some have attitude when they're ten, others when they're 17 or 19. Count your blessings that she is a good kid, a good student, not doing drugs. You should be helping her make decisions about her life, guiding her on a path, not hoping she'll join you military to straighten out (not that there is anything wrong with joining the military!! But she should join for the right reasons).

I find your post very sad. I am a mom too. My son and I have had challenges but I raised him with live and respect. If he had attitude, he was punished or put in his place. But through it all, through the tough teen years, he knew that even when I was mad at him I always loved him.
Couldn't cut anything. You should have read the more of the thread. Now, go do that, and then come back to your post and edit it so it makes sense.
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Old 01-25-2016, 12:23 PM
 
4,748 posts, read 6,146,270 times
Reputation: 6711
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
Yep, two teens, right at the ages that her pediatrician claims they go through their 'stages'. This type of behavior would never be accepted here. Same when I was growing with my two brothers. We never would have considered acting like this.

Kids will get away with what you let them get away with. Preventing this kind of acting out starts when they are toddlers.
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Old 01-26-2016, 12:32 PM
 
143 posts, read 89,046 times
Reputation: 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by westwind15 View Post
My daughter was a dream child, so well behaved, until she was about 13. Then she became an arrogant, obnoxious jerk most of the time. I kept a lid on the major things. She gets excellent grades, has nice friends, no signs of drugs or drinking, and is beloved to other adults, who think she is beyond wonderful. She saves all of her abuse for me.

Now she is 18. and thinks it a total free-for-all in making Mom miserable. After work, I'd rather be anywhere but home. She knows everything there ever was to know, will argue for hours, and is if you try to escape, she will follow you from room to room and just won't quit. Her bedroom is an absolute pigsty and she refuses to clean it. She insults and berates me constantly. She does not lift a finger around the house, and refuses to get any kind of part time job. She is in her last semester of high school. Though she is 18, and a legal adult (as she reminds me regularly), I can't toss her out no matter what she does, under MA laws, which keep these kids babies for far too long. These brats can live on their own, go to college in basket weaving. and collect child support from both parents up to age 23! Yes, 23.

She does not think she has to do anything that I say. She refuses and says "you can't do anything to me". What exactly can I do? I can't take away her personal possessions as she is a legal adult (again MA law, thank you so much). I can't toss her out. She has me over a barrel and she knows it. She claims she is joining the military in July. I sure hope so. Do I just never come home until July?

Ideas?
For me to give my two cents I would have to hear her side of the story too.
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