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Old 01-25-2016, 09:27 PM
 
12,922 posts, read 19,809,103 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
My dd isn't a girl scout and has never done door to door sales, but on, for instance, Halloween, I taught her to ring the doorbell one time, count to 10, and if no one answers, leave. Even if the lights are on and somebody is obviously there. No one is required to open their door, even for a cute little 8 year old girl scout. Whether it was because you were interrupting her TV show or she had just received devastating news, it was her right not to answer the doorbell. It is kind of rude to stand around on her doorstep and wait for her to answer the door when she is clearly trying to ignore you. She should not have had to yell "go away" repeatedly. You should have just left after one ring and a few seconds.

I'm a little baffled about why your daughter was so shaken up about it. All the lady did was yell "go away" from INSIDE her OWN HOUSE. She didn't open the door and scream in the kid's face, or spit at her, or curse her out. It really doesn't sound like that big of a deal. Was that the first time in your daughter's 8 years of life that somebody wasn't all sugary sweet to her? She'd better buck up and get used to it, because it won't be the last. Not everybody is going to be charmed at the sight of her.

Which is why your wife's reaction is way over the top. Does she think the world is supposed to be as enamored by her child as she is? Who would even think to write a letter over such a thing? If somebody hurts my daughter, assaults her, demeans her in some way, yeah, they are going to hear from me. If somebody tells her to go away, from their OWN HOUSE, she'd better go away or deal with the backlash. I think that is why a lot of people here have the impression of your daughter as a spoiled little princess with a drama queen mother. Your wife needs to lighten up before your kid becomes just that.

I hope you were able to convince your wife to let it go. She's got a lot of years of letter writing, hand wringing, and broken relationships ahead of her if something this minor has her so riled up.
+1.

The question should be, who was ruder, the homeowner or the unsolicited person at their door? I don't think just because somebody rings my bell, that I am obligated to answer. And I usually don't, even if all indications are that somebody is home. But ring more than once, or peek in the side glass on my front door and I might be tempted to yell something myself.

In our neighborhood, anybody selling for scouts or the schools will use our email list to find out who is interested. Most people, including me, will support a neighbor. At that point, they're invited to come on over.
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Old 01-25-2016, 09:31 PM
 
12,922 posts, read 19,809,103 times
Reputation: 33959
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBest View Post
I totally agree. I think it would have been more effective for the woman to politely call our your daughter for being rude and invading privacy. That way your daughter would have a better understanding of her actions and you will have a better understanding of someone you have failed to teach your daughter. Either way, this lady wanted to call her out in another, non productive way, and that is her right. It could have been worse... she could have pressed charges.
Her father was with her, and saw nothing rude about his daughter's actions. Do you think he would have welcomed the homeowner's criticism?
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Old 01-25-2016, 09:31 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,969,053 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaOfGrass View Post
Well, it would have hurt my feelings as a little girl. As I said, I went around door-to-door by myself, and some of these "adults" could be pretty cold and/or mean and/or rude. I really started to dread ringing the bell on each new door.

I mean, I don't like it when door-to-door salespeople show up. It just feels very intrusive. It's irritating. Especially since this is a security complex and anyone who doesn't live here doesn't have any business being here (well, except for the business they're trying to peddle). But, still...

One more point to consider, the woman may not have realized that it was a little girl? OP, you said that she looked at you both and waved you away, etc., but I just wondered if maybe there was a chance that she couldn't discern your daughter standing in front of you. Did you actually make eye contact?

Anyway...
Well yeah, I can understand being a little stunned or taken aback at someone being in-your-face, outright crude and rude. This lady was INSIDE her home. She never opened the door or even came to the door. She yelled "go away" and waved her arms from her couch. Per the OP's description, she never even stood up! Sounds like she got annoyed at them standing there staring at her while she was trying to relax, on her couch, inside her own home.

Now if the woman had opened the door and told the kid to "get the f outta here" or called her a name, I could understand the girl being shaken up. That lady had every right to tell them to go away, and it doesn't sound like she was particularly aggressive about it. Not nearly as much as she could have been. I have a kid about the OP's daughter's age and I really don't see her being so shaken up about being told to "go away" that I would feel compelled to write a letter. People are not going to always adore her. She might even be annoying to some people. Or they may not want to be bothered with her. That's life.
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Old 01-25-2016, 10:11 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,000 posts, read 10,143,281 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Well yeah, I can understand being a little stunned or taken aback at someone being in-your-face, outright crude and rude. This lady was INSIDE her home. She never opened the door or even came to the door. She yelled "go away" and waved her arms from her couch. Per the OP's description, she never even stood up! Sounds like she got annoyed at them standing there staring at her while she was trying to relax, on her couch, inside her own home.

Now if the woman had opened the door and told the kid to "get the f outta here" or called her a name, I could understand the girl being shaken up. That lady had every right to tell them to go away, and it doesn't sound like she was particularly aggressive about it. Not nearly as much as she could have been. I have a kid about the OP's daughter's age and I really don't see her being so shaken up about being told to "go away" that I would feel compelled to write a letter. People are not going to always adore her. She might even be annoying to some people. Or they may not want to be bothered with her. That's life.
No, no letter. And I actually do agree that situations like this are going to, and need to, come up sooner or later, and children growing up do have to realize it at one point. It's just part of learning how, and dealing with, the way the world works. But that doesn't mean I'm going to like or respect adults being blatantly rude, just for reasons like they can't "be bothered," especially to kids.
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Old 01-25-2016, 10:20 PM
 
5,765 posts, read 3,047,758 times
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Well, your real mistake was admitting on CD that your daughter is a Girl Scout. Yes, she shouldn't have looked in, but the responses here are over the top. At least she wasn't a Boy Scout or you'd probably also be getting accused of everything else under the sun too. Way too many people today just have a major anger toward Scouts. Six pages of anger.


Now had you posted that your daughter had shoplifted from Walmart, at least half the responses would be sympathetic toward you, and half the rest would be congratulating her on sticking to 'em.
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Old 01-25-2016, 10:23 PM
 
15,302 posts, read 16,854,240 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Well, your real mistake was admitting on CD that your daughter is a Girl Scout. Yes, she shouldn't have looked in, but the responses here are over the top. At least she wasn't a Boy Scout or you'd probably also be getting accused of everything else under the sun too. Way too many people today just have a major anger toward Scouts. Six pages of anger.


Now had you posted that your daughter had shoplifted from Walmart, at least half the responses would be sympathetic toward you, and half the rest would be congratulating her on sticking to 'em.
I did not see any hostility toward girl scouts on this thread. My granddaughter is a girl scout and has sold cookies since she was in 1st grade. Daisies were not allowed to sell back when she started. I think the hostility is toward the wife wanting to write a letter calling out the homeowner as rude when all she did was yell go away from inside her own house.
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Old 01-25-2016, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,499 posts, read 15,947,527 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Well, your real mistake was admitting on CD that your daughter is a Girl Scout. Yes, she shouldn't have looked in, but the responses here are over the top. At least she wasn't a Boy Scout or you'd probably also be getting accused of everything else under the sun too. Way too many people today just have a major anger toward Scouts. Six pages of anger.


Now had you posted that your daughter had shoplifted from Walmart, at least half the responses would be sympathetic toward you, and half the rest would be congratulating her on sticking to 'em.
What?


My responses would have been the same no matter why they were at that person's door. To me, and I bet to most of the other posters, it was totally irrelevant that she was a Girl Scout.
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Old 01-25-2016, 10:44 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,000 posts, read 10,143,281 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Well, your real mistake was admitting on CD that your daughter is a Girl Scout. Yes, she shouldn't have looked in, but the responses here are over the top. At least she wasn't a Boy Scout or you'd probably also be getting accused of everything else under the sun too. Way too many people today just have a major anger toward Scouts. Six pages of anger.


Now had you posted that your daughter had shoplifted from Walmart, at least half the responses would be sympathetic toward you, and half the rest would be congratulating her on sticking to 'em.
Any of the "major anger" toward certain issues that have come up with the Scouts would, I'm sure, be directed to the (adult) leaders, not the kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
What?

My responses would have been the same no matter why they were at that person's door. To me, and I bet to most of the other posters, it was totally irrelevant that she was a Girl Scout.
Yep. When I was young, I was in the Brownie division for a year. I loved it. The girl being a Girl Scout was just a side note.
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Old 01-25-2016, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
563 posts, read 1,282,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Her father was with her, and saw nothing rude about his daughter's actions. Do you think he would have welcomed the homeowner's criticism?
That is correct. I would not put what my daughter inadvertently did, up there on the same level with that lady's reaction. Had she had her nose pressed up against the glass, with her hands cupped around her eyes to see in, then that would have been a different story - and that is my opinion. At the same time, had the homeowner opened the door, and told my daughter it was not nice to peek/peer in, then by all means we would have apologized. And had the lady simply said "No thanks", we would have been on our way. Could the lady have messaged her displeasure differently? Absolutely, and i don't doubt anyone here would disagree.

For those that agree with the lady's reaction - maybe tit-for-tat, or two wrongs make a right works for many of you. Maybe many of you would accept rudeness when directed to you or your child. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me that this story it a nerve to where some of you are somewhat embarrassed as it reminds you of something you did in the past, and you are trying to defend it? Maybe that's a stretch...

I guess I found that kind of response from that lady unacceptable, regardless where she was. And you know what, maybe a letter to her is warranted....
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:15 PM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,654,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PNWGuy View Post
I see nothing wrong with calling out rude people, wherever they are.
You mean like people who look in the windows of your home when you don't come to the door fast enough?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Well yeah, I can understand being a little stunned or taken aback at someone being in-your-face, outright crude and rude. This lady was INSIDE her home. She never opened the door or even came to the door. She yelled "go away" and waved her arms from her couch. Per the OP's description, she never even stood up! Sounds like she got annoyed at them standing there staring at her while she was trying to relax, on her couch, inside her own home.

Now if the woman had opened the door and told the kid to "get the f outta here" or called her a name, I could understand the girl being shaken up. That lady had every right to tell them to go away, and it doesn't sound like she was particularly aggressive about it. Not nearly as much as she could have been. I have a kid about the OP's daughter's age and I really don't see her being so shaken up about being told to "go away" that I would feel compelled to write a letter. People are not going to always adore her. She might even be annoying to some people. Or they may not want to be bothered with her. That's life.
For all we know the woman couldn't get off the couch. Who knows what she had going on, now if she came to the door and dropped an F bomb and than slammed the door, yes, that would shake you up. This shouldn't and shouldn't shake up your child.

If you allow it to, and make a big deal out of it, as I said earlier you will have a 23 year old calling up crying from her job because someone "yelled" at her at work when she dropped the ball on something.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Well, your real mistake was admitting on CD that your daughter is a Girl Scout. Yes, she shouldn't have looked in, but the responses here are over the top. At least she wasn't a Boy Scout or you'd probably also be getting accused of everything else under the sun too. Way too many people today just have a major anger toward Scouts. Six pages of anger.


Now had you posted that your daughter had shoplifted from Walmart, at least half the responses would be sympathetic toward you, and half the rest would be congratulating her on sticking to 'em.
What on earth on you talking about? Not one poster did that. Many of us mentioned we buy Girl Scout Cookies, I do it because it's nice to see kids these days still involved in Scouts. The kids around here sell them at the local Vons supermarket.

That being said, you don't go looking in people's windows and teach your kids that everything is about them.

A better lesson would have been 1) We don't look in windows and 2) While that woman wasn't pleasant we don't know what is going on in her life, maybe she got bad news.

You see you take it off being all about the child all of the time, so you don't end up with a "special snowflake" who at age 20 can't function in life.
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