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Do you really want this Chaos for your peaceful life ? Seriously? Best thing get the attorney follow his advice and steps. And why you think the other lady should know that her kid has a half brother. If I were you I will keep the peace.
not biologically...but in every other way he is....I do NOT need to be told again what i already know about not being able to legally do anything myself.....I KNoooooooow that and i have stated that is not what the hell i am asking why do people just pop in on forums with serious question and just add bull****?
I am sorry if I insulted you. I did not intend to do that.
I am a retired teacher. You would be absolutely shocked at the number of times that a dad "in every other way" but biologically or legally were "burned" or felt wronged by various situations and then claimed that they "really had no idea" that they did not have any rights in the situation.
And, it is not just in case of Mom dying (which I have seen & it is absolutely devastating for both the child & the adult to be immediately ripped apart, while they were grieving), I have also seen it when there were dangerous delays in medical emergencies and numerous, numerous times in regards in important educational and school issues.
People are pointing out that you need to see an attorney because there are probably many things that you never even considered, like health insurance issues and how he is listed on your income tax (if you file jointly) and many, many other situations.
I recently had to see an attorney to deal legal issues with my recently disabled husband. I thought I needed to do one or two things and it turned out that there were at least four or five very important things that needed to done that I never even considered or realized that I would need to do. The financial and legal repercussions of not doing those things could have been disastrous.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-02-2016 at 07:42 AM..
The child has every right to see his biological father. You have to really weigh what your decision is. He could be very resentful when he gets older that you just kept an 'eye' on the father and didn't go after him to be in his life. Put the child's best interest before anything else.
As for his half sister, that is none of your business. You are thinking of disrupting another family because of what you think is best. Keep your nose out of it.
My advice?
Get the guy to sign away any parental rights he has.
NEVER tell your kid you aren't his 'real dad.'
Move on and forget about it.
The medical stuff is b.s. You can get genetic tests done.
People don't just "sign away" parental rights. Yes, they fill out and sign paperwork, but the custodial parent still has go to court and have a hearing where a judge issues an order terminating parental rights. When it's not a CPS case it's usually part of an adoption proceeding. Otherwise, a judge is hesitant to do that because you're forever depriving the child of the right to child support, social security should the bio parent die before the child is 18, and the right to any part of the bio parent's estate.
It would be a mistake to NEVER tell a child that he has a bio dad out there. He's bound to find out at some point and will feel deceived and most likely angry. We all have a need to know who we are and where we came from. There's nothing shameful in being raised by a stepfather and there's no need to lie about it.
I am the stepfather of a wonderfull 6 year old boy. I have been with his mother since he was two months old. I fell in love with him as much as i did his mother. He has called me dad since he could talk and has no idea that I am not his real father...I feel like it would do more damage then good to tell him untill he is old enough to understand (probably 10-12 but we will handle that as it comes). The thing me and my wife are having trouble with is...he has denied from the beginning that the boy was his. After hearing the storry from my wife and seeing pictures of the man...I know with very high certainty that he is. So lets just assume that for now. we have tried to keep track of him in some way (social media and other places) so that when I do tell my son the truth if he has question about his biological father we can answer them...also medical history is sometimes needed and i would like to have that information if necessary. Also we have found out (through) social media that he had another baby...so now my son technically has a half sister. We plan on contacting the woman involved to inform her that her daughter has a half brother...I just feel like she needs to know. seeing as this man is going around making babies and leaving them (the woman and him have split up) I feel like this man should start paying child support so if nothing else he has consequences for what he is doing. My wife is affraid that if we locate him and take him to court for child support that he would then have custody rights. I would be fine with him seeing his biological son in the future but not right now seeing as i have not told the boy...so if we did press for child support and he started paying would he instantly be given rights to see the boy (he was informed that the boy was his ...he sent a $500 check and disapeared) So do judges take that into consideration. As i stated if he payed child support to prove he would be a man about it...then down the road i would be ok with them meeting, But i would rather not have the child support if he would instantly be in MY sons life. So can anybody point me in the direction of any information on how this would be handled legaly?
Instead of trying to prove someone else is a man, how about YOU man up and adopt the boy, and forget about child support from the sperm donor.
Until you are his legal guardian, you should not be making any plans for this child and who he should meet.
Also, leave the other woman out of it. Her having a baby by the same sperm donor is none of your business, either.
1.Check with that attorney, for sure.
2. Let 'sleeping dawgs' lay...really. It's a can of worms you do not want to open. IF the child wants to do so, when he is of age, fine. Just keep doing the good job of being Dad that you apparently are and he may never even want to know more. I have a brother who raised his GF's daughter from 2 months old til they divorced 10+ yrs later. That girls still calls my brother Dad and always will. She's in her 30s now.
I'm not 100% certain, but if you want to legally adopt the child, they may insist your locate the bio to get his permission.
Custody and child support are two different issues, at least where I live.
Yep, if he gets visitation rights, you cannot deny visits because he hasn't paid up. My cleaning lady actually had her child taken from her for interfering with the father's visits. She's since gotten him back, but think of the trauma that child went through in the meantime.
What benefit would a child receive from being involved in any way with a man who does not want him and denies any connection to him?
Father's rights are great for men who want to be in the child's life... but this guy obviously does not want the boy at all. Why introduce that hurt into your son's life?
I am the stepfather of a wonderfull 6 year old boy. I have been with his mother since he was two months old. I fell in love with him as much as i did his mother. He has called me dad since he could talk and has no idea that I am not his real father...I feel like it would do more damage then good to tell him untill he is old enough to understand (probably 10-12 but we will handle that as it comes). The thing me and my wife are having trouble with is...he has denied from the beginning that the boy was his. After hearing the storry from my wife and seeing pictures of the man...I know with very high certainty that he is. So lets just assume that for now. we have tried to keep track of him in some way (social media and other places) so that when I do tell my son the truth if he has question about his biological father we can answer them...also medical history is sometimes needed and i would like to have that information if necessary. Also we have found out (through) social media that he had another baby...so now my son technically has a half sister. We plan on contacting the woman involved to inform her that her daughter has a half brother...I just feel like she needs to know. seeing as this man is going around making babies and leaving them (the woman and him have split up) I feel like this man should start paying child support so if nothing else he has consequences for what he is doing. My wife is affraid that if we locate him and take him to court for child support that he would then have custody rights. I would be fine with him seeing his biological son in the future but not right now seeing as i have not told the boy...so if we did press for child support and he started paying would he instantly be given rights to see the boy (he was informed that the boy was his ...he sent a $500 check and disapeared) So do judges take that into consideration. As i stated if he payed child support to prove he would be a man about it...then down the road i would be ok with them meeting, But i would rather not have the child support if he would instantly be in MY sons life. So can anybody point me in the direction of any information on how this would be handled legaly?
You are going to be shocked but as much as you love and care about this child....under the law you'll have absolutely no say in anything the court decides, because you are not his parent.
If you want to do the right thing, your wife(?) needs to hire an attorney and you two together need to petition the court for adoption asap. Otherwise anything decided about this child is up to his bio parents...
Bio-parents, even deadbeats will always more rights...except for abusive situations, and even that has to be determined by judge.
Forget C.S., that is not a determining factor for visitation, those parental rights are inherent...
Seriously...you and the boy's mom need to consult an attorney asap.
You are going to be shocked but as much as you love and care about this child....under the law you'll have absolutely no say in anything the court decides, because you are not his parent.
If you want to do the right thing, your wife(?) needs to hire an attorney and you two together need to petition the court for adoption asap. Otherwise anything decided about this child is up to his bio parents...
Bio-parents, even deadbeats will always more rights...except for abusive situations, and even that has to be determined by judge.
Forget C.S., that is not a determining factor for visitation, those parental rights are inherent...
Seriously...you and the boy's mom need to consult an attorney asap.
Yes to all of this. ^^^^ If your wife died (God forbid), the bio dad could take the boy and you would have no recourse. If you want to get this straightened out you should go ahead and do it.
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