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Old 02-01-2016, 12:18 PM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,274 posts, read 10,526,318 times
Reputation: 11863

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather View Post
April has been hooking up with random guys
One has only to watch the Maury show on TV to see that plenty of women who are convinced that a certain guy is the "baby daddy" get a rude shock when the DNA test says he isn't. I recall one show where a guy she never suspected---because he had had a vasectomy---turned out to be the daddy. Apparently some vasectomies can reopen or leak.

At any rate, "April" needs to get a DNA test in hand before she goes pointing fingers and seeking child support.
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Old 02-01-2016, 12:20 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,864 posts, read 18,910,587 times
Reputation: 25118
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather View Post
Agreed with your last statement there, but as women, we saw all of the negative things you mentioned and the choices women had before reproductive freedom. Shouldn't men have the same freedoms? (i.e. the ability to say, "I don't want this future." Then both genders would have choices.
Sure. Men need birth control choices other than condoms or vasectomy. Something like this: The Perfect Birth Control for Men Is Here. Why Can't We Use It? | Motherboard But until it happens, they're facing the same choice that women have historically had, abstinence or the risk of having to provide for a child.
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Old 02-01-2016, 12:23 PM
 
635 posts, read 396,107 times
Reputation: 1762
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
It's not fair of her to want to get pregnant and then ruin someone else's life over it. If she wants a baby, she should be able to pay for it herself. As women, we are the last gateway to pregnancy. If we don't want to get pregnant, we can use birth control, the day after pill, sponges, rubbers, etc.


I think April is a POS and I hope she has a miscarriage.
Wow, wishing a miscarriage on another woman is pretty evil. I'm guessing you've never experienced a miscarriage. If a man doesn't want his life ruined by an unplanned pregnancy he should get snipped or keep it in his pants. This guy made a choice to have sex and every time you have sex there is a possibility of pregnancy (for the most part.)


No one can force a man to be a father if he truly doesn't want to be in his child's life but I do believe that he should be forced to pay child support. If a guy can't act like a man and take care of his child the least he can do is financially support it. I don't really care if he wanted the kid or not. What about the kid's right to have a father? I feel sorry for all these fatherless kids and not these poor forced upon deadbeat dads.

Last edited by melovescookies; 02-01-2016 at 12:37 PM..
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Old 02-01-2016, 12:39 PM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,685,999 times
Reputation: 40996
Quote:
Originally Posted by melovescookies View Post
I'm guessing you've never experienced a miscarriage.

Actually, I've had four.


I'm a realist, and the poor child doesn't deserve a "mother" who is this reckless with their life.
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Old 02-01-2016, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,491 posts, read 15,940,606 times
Reputation: 38845
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
It's definitely a popular subject for debate. The way I feel about it is that each person has control over the output of their own body.


The man can use a condom or not have sex with a woman he doesn't want to impregnate. The reason that the woman can legally choose to terminate or continue the pregnancy is that she's the one who will carry the baby and she's the one facing any health risks from the pregnancy.

Anyhow, legally the father of the baby will have a financial obligation. Why do we force men to support their children, if they didn't want the baby? Because they played a part in making the baby, and because many men want to have sex, but not as many want to support their offspring if they're not still in a relationship with the mother of that offspring.

I remember talking to my HS age son and telling him that before he had unprotected sex with anyone he needed to think about if he wanted to be connected to her for at least 18 years, and more likely his entire life, because they created a child together.
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Old 02-01-2016, 01:21 PM
 
Location: The Carolinas
1,987 posts, read 1,904,694 times
Reputation: 6010
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Actually, I've had four.


I'm a realist, and the poor child doesn't deserve a "mother" who is this reckless with their life.
I can see how you feel that way, Convextech. I usually read your posts as a somewhat refreshing point-of-view, but wishing someone a miscarriage is rather harsh, but , again, I can see your angle.

And, yes, this is an interesting topic of conversation--one which I will be quietly reading and listening to, but not contributing.

In a perfect world, both the man and woman who were intimate should have to "turn their keys at the same time" to make a baby. . . . but as we all know. This is not a perfect world and never will be.
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Old 02-01-2016, 01:31 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 1,161,037 times
Reputation: 9150
This topic keeps coming up and the answer is the same every time.

For women: sex + no birth control/faulty birth control = higher chance of baby
--- sex + good bc =/= very tiny chance of baby

For men: sex + no bc/faulty bc = higher chance of baby
--- sex + good bc =/= very tiny chance of baby

(Guess what... they're the same! Same rules, same responsibility no matter if baby or no baby.)

Universal truth: sex = chance of baby

They both have the same responsibility and both know the risk... as long as they're adults and not flipping idiots. It doesn't matter what you want or don't want. It matters what you do.

And yes, there are a very small amount of times when quality birth control used properly malfunctions and someone gets pregnant. Barring rape, both people still decided to have sex. See above for the universal truth of that decision.
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Old 02-01-2016, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Arizona
323 posts, read 251,659 times
Reputation: 631
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
This topic keeps coming up and the answer is the same every time.

For women: sex + no birth control/faulty birth control = higher chance of baby
--- sex + good bc =/= very tiny chance of baby

For men: sex + no bc/faulty bc = higher chance of baby
--- sex + good bc =/= very tiny chance of baby

(Guess what... they're the same! Same rules, same responsibility no matter if baby or no baby.)

Universal truth: sex = chance of baby

They both have the same responsibility and both know the risk... as long as they're adults and not flipping idiots. It doesn't matter what you want or don't want. It matters what you do.

And yes, there are a very small amount of times when quality birth control used properly malfunctions and someone gets pregnant. Barring rape, both people still decided to have sex. See above for the universal truth of that decision.
While I think we all agree that abstinence is definitely the only way to prevent pregnancy, the reality is, things will still happen. BC will fail or be forgotten altogether. Then, ppl who had no intention of a future together (or maybe one did) will end up with changed lives because of an in-the-moment decision. As a pp mentioned, in a perfect world, there would be equal choices for men and women.

This is just a healthy discussion about something I think is probably taboo or subject to an almost double standard.

A woman can choose to have a child or terminate or adopt out. A man doesn't have any of those choices really. In a perfect world, they would make those choices together, but unfortunately, you throw an unplanned pregnancy into the mix and everything is up in the air.

After lunch the other day, I just became curious about others thoughts. It's good to be able to discuss something that isn't always discussed.
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Old 02-01-2016, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,380 posts, read 7,140,948 times
Reputation: 31118
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Actually, I've had four.


I'm a realist, and the poor child doesn't deserve a "mother" who is this reckless with their life.
Could that be why you're so bitter, then or are you "just" being facetious?
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Old 02-01-2016, 02:30 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,864 posts, read 18,910,587 times
Reputation: 25118
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather View Post
While I think we all agree that abstinence is definitely the only way to prevent pregnancy, the reality is, things will still happen. BC will fail or be forgotten altogether. Then, ppl who had no intention of a future together (or maybe one did) will end up with changed lives because of an in-the-moment decision. As a pp mentioned, in a perfect world, there would be equal choices for men and women.

This is just a healthy discussion about something I think is probably taboo or subject to an almost double standard.

A woman can choose to have a child or terminate or adopt out. A man doesn't have any of those choices really. In a perfect world, they would make those choices together, but unfortunately, you throw an unplanned pregnancy into the mix and everything is up in the air.

After lunch the other day, I just became curious about others thoughts. It's good to be able to discuss something that isn't always discussed.
It helps if people only have sex in committed relationships. When people hook up with someone they barely know, that person isn't going to be considering the other person's best interests in the case of an unplanned pregnancy.
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