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Old 02-03-2016, 07:06 AM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,404,352 times
Reputation: 6116

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather View Post
While I agree with the logic, it's still forcing a man to be a father, even if it's just financially. Women can choose to have their children adopted or they can terminate a pregnancy. Why can't a man choose to say "no, it was a mistake... I don't want the obligation." There should be options to choose.

And child custody/rearing isn't a reward to everyone. Especially when you're looking at it coming from a random hookup, "I want a baby" situation or the all-too-common teen pregnancy.

You can say that he should've thought of that when he had sex but who really thinks? It's paradise by the Dashboard lights and then you're left with 15 minutes leading to 18 years with someone you probably didn't want to be with.

Again, just find it interesting that we've evolved to allowing women several opportunities to choose but men have none unless the woman chooses one that will just happen to benefit him too.
All these posts, you keep saying the same thing, but I think you're missing something from your equation:

The new human. Humans require some resources. A biological father should be obligated to pay half. It's up to him if he wants to be a part of the kids life or not. He doesn't have to have a relationship with the kid.

Abortion, on the other hand, needs no extra resources to support a new human. This is not equlivent to a man relinquishing parental rights.

As others have said, most basically because kids cost money, biological parents should be the first means of support.

How about this possible "solution" to your dilemma: if a dad finds a willing "financial backer" he could relinquish his rights and obligations. Could be anyone: his parents, her friends, a cousin...just someone else to take on his "mistake" for him. Then he could completely wash his hands of it, without being a "deadbeat" or having society pick up his tab.
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Old 02-03-2016, 10:14 AM
 
15,208 posts, read 16,093,041 times
Reputation: 25165
Quote:
Originally Posted by hbdwihdh378y9 View Post
It wasn't a mistake. It was a deliberate choice. And, obviously, the child has the right to a father. The guy needs to man up.
He has a legal obligation to provide for the child but I'm not sure I'd put it in the category of "manning up." More like 18 years of paying for bad judgment.

In my youth I was never one to engage in random hookups with strangers. But if I were, I would not have had ANY expectation that the man involved was consenting to be a father. It seems to me that the nature of the hookup is sex and nothing more. If this woman deceived him about birth control she's a selfish liar and has probably created a lifetime of difficulty for herself and this baby and 18 years of financial hardship for the guy.

Still, the law requires that he support his offspring and all men know that going in. But I don't blame him if he begrudges her every penny.
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Old 02-03-2016, 09:59 PM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,119,699 times
Reputation: 9787
TxHeather should meet Futurist110. lol

See the looooong thread he has about opting out of child support.

An argument in favor of giving male-bodied people a unilateral opt-out from paying child support
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Old 02-05-2016, 07:06 AM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,404,352 times
Reputation: 6116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
TxHeather should meet Futurist110. lol

See the looooong thread he has about opting out of child support.

An argument in favor of giving male-bodied people a unilateral opt-out from paying child support
A CD love connection! They'd be quite a match!
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Old 02-05-2016, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Arizona
323 posts, read 252,515 times
Reputation: 631
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
A CD love connection! They'd be quite a match!
Well, that wasn't very nice. I read his thread and it was rambling and at times, incoherent. I brought my topic up as a result of a conversation with friends and was interested in hearing others views. Just because my topic is similar to his doesn't mean I am like him in any way.
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Old 02-05-2016, 03:36 PM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,404,352 times
Reputation: 6116
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather View Post
Well, that wasn't very nice. I read his thread and it was rambling and at times, incoherent. I brought my topic up as a result of a conversation with friends and was interested in hearing others views. Just because my topic is similar to his doesn't mean I am like him in any way.
You might not like his style, but I don't know how you could miss the fact that y'all are arguing the EXACT same point!! And you both do it such a way that hints at "la-la-la-la-I-can't-hear-you-because-my-fingers-are-in-my-ears"

Is his rambling the only reason the comparison bothers you?
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Old 02-05-2016, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Arizona
323 posts, read 252,515 times
Reputation: 631
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
You might not like his style, but I don't know how you could miss the fact that y'all are arguing the EXACT same point!! And you both do it such a way that hints at "la-la-la-la-I-can't-hear-you-because-my-fingers-are-in-my-ears"

Is his rambling the only reason the comparison bothers you?
I thought I was engaging in friendly dialogue regarding a topic I found interesting. I didn't realize that I was either arguing or "lalala"-ing.

I find everyone's comments interesting especially since I, myself, never thought of it from the man's perspective prior to my lunch. I always thought "cough up the cash dude!" I never thought of it from the choice side of things and thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss.

Again...just expanding knowledge through conversation.
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Old 02-08-2016, 10:23 AM
 
15,208 posts, read 16,093,041 times
Reputation: 25165
Quote:
Originally Posted by TxHeather View Post
Well, that wasn't very nice. I read his thread and it was rambling and at times, incoherent. I brought my topic up as a result of a conversation with friends and was interested in hearing others views. Just because my topic is similar to his doesn't mean I am like him in any way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
You might not like his style, but I don't know how you could miss the fact that y'all are arguing the EXACT same point!! And you both do it such a way that hints at "la-la-la-la-I-can't-hear-you-because-my-fingers-are-in-my-ears"

Is his rambling the only reason the comparison bothers you?
I didn't read AfternoonCoffee's thread, but I thought TxHeather brought up interesting points and has talked about them in an open-minded fashion. I've enjoyed this thread and think it's an important discussion.
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