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PARIS (AFP) - A new study shows that parent training programmes fail to reduce behavioural problems in toddlers, suggesting that coaching on how to rear children may be a waste of time and money.
On average, behavioural problems afflict every seventh child aged 4 to 17, previously studies have shown.
It is about time that the "experts" finally realized that the "experts" books are useless. I always used to laugh when I discovered that the "experts" had no children, or their children were in jail, or were transvestites, or living at home with no job at 38 years old . . . Not all of them, but quite a few. Mostly they just did not have kids. sorry. No kids = you are not qualified to give any advice on rasing kids.
Every kid is different and you have to use your instincts. If your instincts are wrong, it can be very very bad. That is the way it is.
So true, coldjensens.
There are many 'experts' out there who claim to have magical solutions to child rearing. Many of them have no kids, and many of them are men who seem to count on their wives to fulfill the primary parent role. It's easy to sit behind your desk and spout off on all the ills children face today, without getting your own hands dirty in the actual work of raising children.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,763,471 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by John1960
PARIS (AFP) - A new study shows that parent training programmes fail to reduce behavioural problems in toddlers, suggesting that coaching on how to rear children may be a waste of time and money.
On average, behavioural problems afflict every seventh child aged 4 to 17, previously studies have shown.
Of course they are a waste of time. And stupid too! I can cure any tantrum in a second just by reaching for my belt! It works 100% of the time! Try it!
Ahhh, I love how someone reads a blurb and then decides they were correct. First, regarding "using your belt." That might work for some kids, but it doesn't work for others. I'm NOT starting a debate on corporal punishment and it can work; however, it doesn't work for all. Here is the research on that.
Secondly, no, you don't have to have kids to do parent training. Just as you don't have to have cancer to treat cancer, schizophrenia to treat schizophrenia, etc.
Here are some actual studies that prove the blurb wrong. With any study, you need to read the actual article to evaluate its merits. Questions to ask yourself, are these results limited to this population? What "type" of parent training did they test (there are different modules/styles? How are the groups "matched" (those who get treatment vs. those who don't). Also, this is saying "behavior problems in toddlers" not parent training in general (which still, I don't agree with based on countless research). Here you go:
I am in NO way saying everyone needs parenting training, but some people do (I also don't believe every "tantrum" requires parent training). Also, anyone who says there are "magical solutions" shouldn't be trusted; however, for parents who are overwhelmed (or, who are abusive!) there are programs that can help a great deal.
It is about time that the "experts" finally realized that the "experts" books are useless. I always used to laugh when I discovered that the "experts" had no children, or their children were in jail, or were transvestites, or living at home with no job at 38 years old . . . Not all of them, but quite a few. Mostly they just did not have kids. sorry. No kids = you are not qualified to give any advice on rasing kids.
Every kid is different and you have to use your instincts. If your instincts are wrong, it can be very very bad. That is the way it is.
I cant say what worked and didn't work well for myself if I have the ability to introspect myself?
Your instincts are generally going to be based off what worked and didn't work from your parents.
Every child is different though, and we must all adapt to face each one.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,763,471 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessiegirl_98
Ahhh, I love how someone reads a blurb and then decides they were correct. First, regarding "using your belt." That might work for some kids, but it doesn't work for others. I'm NOT starting a debate on corporal punishment and it can work; however, it doesn't work for all. Here is the research on that.
Secondly, no, you don't have to have kids to do parent training. Just as you don't have to have cancer to treat cancer, schizophrenia to treat schizophrenia, etc.
Here are some actual studies that prove the blurb wrong. With any study, you need to read the actual article to evaluate its merits. Questions to ask yourself, are these results limited to this population? What "type" of parent training did they test (there are different modules/styles? How are the groups "matched" (those who get treatment vs. those who don't). Also, this is saying "behavior problems in toddlers" not parent training in general (which still, I don't agree with based on countless research). Here you go:
I am in NO way saying everyone needs parenting training, but some people do (I also don't believe every "tantrum" requires parent training). Also, anyone who says there are "magical solutions" shouldn't be trusted; however, for parents who are overwhelmed (or, who are abusive!) there are programs that can help a great deal.
I have raised 5 children- 3 boys and 2 girls. And every one of them got a whuppin when it was needed. It was needed very little because once they got the belt or the paddle, they did not want another. And none of my kids were on drugs like Ritalin or in "counseling". Nor was I as a kid.
Of course they are a waste of time. And stupid too! I can cure any tantrum in a second just by reaching for my belt! It works 100% of the time! Try it!
My son is 18 y/o but "Mr. Belt" is still hanging in my closet. Whenever any of his childhood friends come over, they always ask me if I still have Mr. Belt. It's become a running joke.
I have raised 5 children- 3 boys and 2 girls. And every one of them got a whuppin when it was needed. It was needed very little because once they got the belt or the paddle, they did not want another. And none of my kids were on drugs like Ritalin or in "counseling". Nor was I as a kid.
As I mentioned, what works for your children doesn't work for everyone. Also, it sounds like your children had respect for you and your rules. Not everyone is able to enforce this or to find what works for their children so readily. I'm not in any way questioning your parenting, you just can't say that what works for you will work for all children....that's not true. The children who are in counseling have very severe issues that it seems that you are minimizing. If someone comes to me and says "hey my child is throwing a tantrum every once in awhile" I might share tips with them, but I'm not going to say they need "Ritalin" or "counseling." On the other hand, I work with some children who are getting expelled (and their parents don't know what to do), or have severe abuse histories, who self mutilate, etc....you can't argue they may need counseling. Again, I would never say EVERYONE needs counseling and that some children have behavior problems that their parents can deal with but some children have more severe problems and some parents just don't know what to do. Those are the children who can benefit from help.
I always believed that parenting is a "fly by the seat of your pants" thing. It's something you do based on your gut feel, experience and IMO (and experience) trial and error. It is not one size fits all. When I'm asked by usually new parents how to deal with certain issues, I predicate it by saying this is what worked best for us, and it might not work for you. And always, I say...you'll be fine. You have your child's best interests in mind. How could you go wrong with that? If one thing doesn't work, keep trying until you find one that does.
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