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Old 02-10-2016, 09:01 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,495,844 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayelle77 View Post
It really depends on the situation. If I'm having a nice dinner and your son comes up to chat, I might be a bit annoyed because I don't like being bothered by anyone while I eat. If I'm outside enjoying my day? Not so much. Honestly he just sounds like a typical little boy to me.
Yeah, I would never in a million years let him go up to a table at a restaurant. We have been eating out since he was a baby and he is pretty well trained. The only problem is if the restaurant is loud, he will raise his voice level quite a bit. But we are working on it.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Prosper
6,268 posts, read 12,109,796 times
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Interesting post OP. On the one hand, you want to admire him for his outgoing nature and willingness to engage with people, that is healthy behavior. A lot of kids just aren't comfortable enough to do this in an unknown social setting. He may have a career in politics.

On the other hand, you need to set boundaries as to when that type of behavior might not be appropriate. A couple on a date or celebrating something would probably not enjoy having your child crash their little party, even though they may have kids of their own and play it off as though it's ok, they are probably annoyed.

I would tend to think that this behavior may decrease a bit as he gets older. I would be very surprised if he's still doing this as a teen, most teens are moody and would rather text and play with their phones than converse with strangers.

For the meantime, I wouldn't worry about it too much, just make sure he understands that sometimes his behavior may not be viewed as appropriate from some people, and that he needs to learn how to tell the difference when it is and it isn't.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:09 AM
 
1,575 posts, read 1,424,731 times
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Most posters aren't trying to attack you or imply that you're a negligent parent or that your son is a bad child. They are just saying they think your son needs a bit more guidance and supervision in his interactions with strangers at his current stage of development. Maybe it would be helpful to ask his therapist for advice about navigating such situations.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Canada
8,696 posts, read 7,773,462 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
Most posters aren't trying to attack you or imply that you're a negligent parent or that your son is a bad child. They are just saying they think your son needs a bit more guidance and supervision in his interactions with strangers at his current stage of development. Maybe it would be helpful to ask his therapist for advice about navigating such situations.
Exactly this.

I wouldn't wait for cues from strangers before acting. When her son goes and sits with another family, IMO, she should go right over to ask him to come back to their table, at which point they can indicate if he okay to stay or not.

I think the onus is on a parent to go get their child, not sit back and assume it's fine unless there are signals or outright statements that others aren't so welcoming of his company.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:26 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Have you been to WDW? no one is sitting as a family for the fire works show. We are all smashed together shoulder to shoulder. Same with parades. There is no "my space your space". I wouldn't think to really talk to the person next to me. My son thinks its a fine idea.

In WDW kids 8+ can ride with out an adult if they meet the height requirement. I went on all the rides with him minus one day when I was sick and couldn't ride.

I've seen the fireworks show dozens of times at Disneyland. Families sit together. A child sitting away from his family is easily lost when the show ends and there is a crowd crush. It's dark and confusing. Parades only slightly less so. Most families make the effort to sit together. Parents also wait with kids in the line. If the parent doesn't want to go on the ride he tells the CM at boarding and the CM directs the parent to the ride's exit . The height guideline, BTW, is for safety on the ride. It is not "your child can wait in line by himself if he is this tall".

Age ten was about when my kids were allowed to wait in SHORT lines by themselves on rides they were familiar with. They also had strict instructions to keep their place in line (not sneak up) and not to bother the people around them.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 02-10-2016 at 09:38 AM..
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:27 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,495,844 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MckinneyOwnr View Post
Interesting post OP. On the one hand, you want to admire him for his outgoing nature and willingness to engage with people, that is healthy behavior. A lot of kids just aren't comfortable enough to do this in an unknown social setting. He may have a career in politics.

On the other hand, you need to set boundaries as to when that type of behavior might not be appropriate. A couple on a date or celebrating something would probably not enjoy having your child crash their little party, even though they may have kids of their own and play it off as though it's ok, they are probably annoyed.

I would tend to think that this behavior may decrease a bit as he gets older. I would be very surprised if he's still doing this as a teen, most teens are moody and would rather text and play with their phones than converse with strangers.

For the meantime, I wouldn't worry about it too much, just make sure he understands that sometimes his behavior may not be viewed as appropriate from some people, and that he needs to learn how to tell the difference when it is and it isn't.
No don't say politics! LOL! My husband is a politics junky (its his sport) so my son watches a lot of the coverage with his dad. I swear if he gets turned into a politician, I am going to be so mad. LOL

I agree, its lessening even now as a tween. When he was younger I was always having to reign him back in. But now he is more his own person then a child. It makes me feel limited in how I can manage some of it. I am not going to tell him he isn't ever allowed to talk to strangers. But I think by the time he is an actual teen, he will be much less talkative to people. Since he hit 10, he is changing so fast.

We keep working on it. Its just hard to know what is appropriate for every situation.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:30 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,495,844 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I've seen the fireworks show dozens of times at Disneyland. Families sit together. A child sitting away from his family is easily lost when the show ends and there is a crowd crush. Parents also wait with kids in the line. If the parent doesn't want to go on the ride he tells the CM at boarding and the CM directs the parent to the exit. The height guideline, BTW, is for safety on the ride. It is not "your child can wait in line by himself if he is this tall".
Well I have watched fireworks at disney world (where we were) and every time, most people were standing and shoulder to shoulder. No one "sat together". Parades people sat together but there wasn't a gap between you and the next family. One parade a little girl fell asleep on my shoulder.

We were never told to wait in line with him. I would walk him up and ask if he could ride alone, they asked how old he was, checked his height if needed and sent him into the line and directed my towards the exit for when he got off. This is just how it was done at WDW on the rides he went on. If they suggested I wait in line with him, I would have. I did try to have eyes on him in the line the entire time, or my husband did. Don't want to lose a kid in that crowd!
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:35 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,495,844 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
Most posters aren't trying to attack you or imply that you're a negligent parent or that your son is a bad child. They are just saying they think your son needs a bit more guidance and supervision in his interactions with strangers at his current stage of development. Maybe it would be helpful to ask his therapist for advice about navigating such situations.
No, seriously, people are attacking my parenting and decisions as a parent.

I try very hard to supervise him and guide him. He isn't little anymore. He is a full blown tween and a very independent spirit at that.

I did talk to the therapist about some of this. She said as long as he is safe and being relatively well behaved, to let him make his own mistakes when it comes to socializing. And that she is going to coach him on some specifics, like personal space (he gets too close to his friends sometimes) and joking.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:40 AM
 
1,844 posts, read 1,165,074 times
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Isolated instances like that aren't annoying. But I've had kids in the neighborhood (well 1 or 2 mainly) that are always bugging you..... that's annoying. They are a bit older though.
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Old 02-10-2016, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,488 posts, read 15,923,785 times
Reputation: 38802
Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
Most posters aren't trying to attack you or imply that you're a negligent parent or that your son is a bad child. They are just saying they think your son needs a bit more guidance and supervision in his interactions with strangers at his current stage of development. Maybe it would be helpful to ask his therapist for advice about navigating such situations.

While he is 10 years old, you stated that most strangers probably think that he is much younger (possible 7) due to his small stature, plus he has difficulty reading social cues. So, I suspect that some of the things that you observe as strangers being friendly and accepting of your son's interactions may be concern for the safety of what they view as a young, vulnerable child, apparently on his own or quite a distance away from his parents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Also every time I attempted to escort him back to the area we were sitting in, the parents or grandparents would tell me he was welcome. What do I do then? I did stop trying. He was old enough to go down on his own. I let him go down, but had him bring his plate back to the room if I wasn't going to be down there. A couple times he stayed and watched cartoons with other kids though
But, if you were not there, how did you know that he just "watched cartoons with the other kids"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Actually the comment i get most of the time when I go to retrieve him is how well mannered and behaved he is. I hear it all the time about him (in other situations as well). This trip a grandmother came up to me in the hall way just to tell me she had breakfast with my son and I was embarrassed and she started going on about how well mannered he is and she wishes her grandkids were like that. So I don't think its really the case here...even though I see TONS of room for improvement with his manners...he at least has them for strangers.
I suspect that some readers are concerned that if you were not even aware that he had breakfast with this woman (I know that I was wondering about it) it is possible that you are not aware of other interactions that may be potentially more sinister or where he was bothering other strangers.

Frankly, if I saw a child who I perceived to be 7 years old by himself in a hotel food area (unless this area at DW was supervised by staff acting as caregivers) I might invite him to sit with me until his parents arrived to make sure that he was safe.

Again, my son was also a very gregarious, talkative child and it could be a real challenge, so I can understand your struggles. At age two and a half my son was routinely walking up to people in controlled environments (like to the parents of his classmates at the day care center) and introducing himself by saying, "Hi! Me John Smith. Me friendly guy" and extending his hand for them to shake hands.


I think that most posters are saying what forum browser said very well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
Most posters aren't trying to attack you or imply that you're a negligent parent or that your son is a bad child. They are just saying they think your son needs a bit more guidance and supervision in his interactions with strangers at his current stage of development. Maybe it would be helpful to ask his therapist for advice about navigating such situations.

Last edited by germaine2626; 02-10-2016 at 10:13 AM..
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