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Old 02-10-2016, 11:01 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,243,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Actually the comment i get most of the time when I go to retrieve him is how well mannered and behaved he is. I hear it all the time about him (in other situations as well). This trip a grandmother came up to me in the hall way just to tell me she had breakfast with my son and I was embarrassed and she started going on about how well mannered he is and she wishes her grandkids were like that. So I don't think its really the case here...even though I see TONS of room for improvement with his manners...he at least has them for strangers.
I had a friend who used to say this about her kids when they walked up to people's restaurant table. People who feel otherwise are not going to TELL you this.
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Old 02-10-2016, 11:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While he is 10 years old, you stated that most strangers probably think that he is much younger (possible 7) due to his small stature, plus he has difficulty reading social cues. So, I suspect that some of the things that you observe as strangers being friendly and accepting of your son's interactions may be concern for the safety of what they view as a young, vulnerable child, apparently on his own or quite a distance away from his parents.



But, if you were not there, how did you know that he just "watched cartoons with the other kids"?



I suspect that some readers are concerned that if you were not even aware that he had breakfast with this woman (I know that I was) it is possible that you are not aware of other interactions that may be potentially more sinister or where he was bothering other strangers.

Frankly, if I saw a child who I perceived to be 7 years old by himself in a hotel food area (unless this area at DW was supervised by staff acting as caregivers) I might invite him to sit with me until his parents arrived to make sure that he was safe.


Again, my son was also a very gregarious, talkative child and it could be a challenge. I think that most posters are saying what forum browser said very well.
Perhaps in some cases, although I haven't gotten that vibe. But you can't treat an independent 10 year old boy like a young 7 year old child because he looks little. This has been an ongoing issue in his life. When I first started letting him use the mens room around age 6, I got several irate comments about letting my 3 or 4 year old go in there alone. I wouldn't have let him go in at all if I thought he wasn't able to handle himself. Not just behavior wise, but also if there was a bad situation. And he wasn't often in there unsupervised. Id let him go down but have him come right back.

How I know he was watching cartoons...cause I asked him. At times I went to retrieve him and that is what he was doing.

Its funny on here i have often been called a helicopter parent...now I am a "hand off parent" with my kids running wild.
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Old 02-10-2016, 11:18 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,509,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
I had a friend who used to say this about her kids when they walked up to people's restaurant table. People who feel otherwise are not going to TELL you this.
This wasn't a restaurant. I wouldn't allow this at a restaurant. Again,it was an informal lounge
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Old 02-10-2016, 11:22 AM
 
Location: La La Land
1,514 posts, read 1,897,980 times
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OP, I have taught middle school for almost 30 years. Your son is a pleasant alternative to the brooding, self absorbed, mono-syllabic youth that I see becoming commonplace.

You seem to be doing a good job of reinforcing boundaries and good behavior. Since the majority of people do not seem bothered (no reason they should), relax.

Hopefully, as he grows older he will strike a good balance between his openness and appropriate behavior. If you see things going badly then, you can reevaluate your strategies.

Your son seems to be an entertaining fellow, enjoy him!
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Old 02-10-2016, 12:00 PM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,243,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
This wasn't a restaurant. I wouldn't allow this at a restaurant. Again,it was an informal lounge
Shrug. It was an establishment where people were gathered with their families and consuming food and beverages. It is unclear what the purpose of your post was?
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Old 02-10-2016, 12:06 PM
 
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I guess what I would ask myself is what do I want for and from my child? Will he annoy some people some of the time. Yup. What does HE need to know or do?
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Old 02-10-2016, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
41,093 posts, read 32,773,001 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MckinneyOwnr View Post
Interesting post OP. On the one hand, you want to admire him for his outgoing nature and willingness to engage with people, that is healthy behavior. A lot of kids just aren't comfortable enough to do this in an unknown social setting. He may have a career in politics.

On the other hand, you need to set boundaries as to when that type of behavior might not be appropriate. A couple on a date or celebrating something would probably not enjoy having your child crash their little party, even though they may have kids of their own and play it off as though it's ok, they are probably annoyed.

I would tend to think that this behavior may decrease a bit as he gets older. I would be very surprised if he's still doing this as a teen, most teens are moody and would rather text and play with their phones than converse with strangers.

For the meantime, I wouldn't worry about it too much, just make sure he understands that sometimes his behavior may not be viewed as appropriate from some people, and that he needs to learn how to tell the difference when it is and it isn't.
This. THIS THIS THIS. High Flying Bird, I hope you have a thick skin for some of the over the top responses here. No need to go into great lengths of explaining or trying to validate your choices in my opinion. To me, anyway, and apparently to several other posters, your parenting and attention to the unique personality traits of your son all seem very appropriate.

Congratulations on being attentive and being willing to listen to other perspectives on your family situation. I'll say it one more time - if your son struck up a conversation with me on the playground or in a lounge area at a theme park or as we stood in line somewhere, I'd think he was a cute little guy with an engaging way about him, especially if he was showing curiosity and sharing opinions about the world around him. I have met kids like that - heck, I HAVE kids like that - and I always get a kick out of them. Maybe I'm a weirdo, I don't know, but in the raising of three very extroverted and high energy kids, who never met a stranger but who I'm sure got some social skills skewered a time or two as they learned the ropes, I can tell you that your son would bring a smile to my face - and to my parents' faces and my husband's face. That's about all I can speak for but I hope you do take it to heart.
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Old 02-10-2016, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,235,282 times
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Can't believe some people are saying a 10 year old shouldn't be queuing up a ride by themselves. Long before that age me and my brother were wandering theme parks by ourselves while our parents did their own thing and we didn't always want to go on the same rides either so there was a lot of queuing up by ourselves.
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Old 02-10-2016, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
41,093 posts, read 32,773,001 times
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Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
Can't believe some people are saying a 10 year old shouldn't be queuing up a ride by themselves. Long before that age me and my brother were wandering theme parks by ourselves while our parents did their own thing and we didn't always want to go on the same rides either so there was a lot of queuing up by ourselves.
I know - I agree totally.

When I was ten years old, I was all over the place on my bike. I came in when the street lights came on. My mom frankly had no idea where I was or what I was doing - and where I was and what I was doing was entirely innocent for that matter.

When we went to theme parks when I was a kid, I guess the parents were around somewhere, but I sure rarely noticed them. They CERTAINLY didn't stand in lines with us, or try to keep us from striking up conversations with people in lounge areas or in a line - and we did so pretty often.

I'm just amazed at some of these responses - I really am.
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Old 02-10-2016, 02:03 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,509,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
Can't believe some people are saying a 10 year old shouldn't be queuing up a ride by themselves. Long before that age me and my brother were wandering theme parks by ourselves while our parents did their own thing and we didn't always want to go on the same rides either so there was a lot of queuing up by ourselves.
I saw tons of kids getting in line without their parents on this trip, especially for some of the thrill rides...not every parent wants a thrill ride. WDW rules are 8+ can ride alone (and wait alone). Works for me. I didn't let them wander alone...I got lost enough, I didn't want to worry about him getting lost too. But he would know what to do if he did. We went over that with both children before we stepped into WDW.

Hold on to your hat because I also let him head down to the quick service restaurant in the hotel with his sister to buy themselves lunch and I let them use their magic bands to buy stuff (its a disney world thing). They didn't buy a single thing they didn't have permission to buy.

Honestly the more people tell me my kid is super annoying and I am a lax mom, the better I am feeling about my son being quite resourceful and bright and me knowing what he is able to do and what he isn't ready for. I think people are blowing what I am saying out of proportion to what was actually going on.

I think I got my answer. Most people would feel fine about him as long as he wasn't being clingy or rude. Some people would be annoyed but wouldn't say anything to me about it (and I am not a mind reader so its not really my problem). Some people would be outraged by my parenting...to which I am not really concerned about IRL because I am a pretty darn good mom.
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