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Old 02-09-2016, 04:18 PM
 
3,167 posts, read 3,991,002 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
What does gender have to do with the amount of homework? This is a serious question, not sarcasm.
Boys develop more slowly than girls and are generally later readers and writers. They also have a great deal more difficulty on average than girls do with quiet activities and sitting still all day. It has been a problem for many years in elementary school, but most people don't pay much attention to it since the focus is always on ways in which girls are disadvantaged. But that's actually not true until later.
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Old 02-09-2016, 04:21 PM
 
3,167 posts, read 3,991,002 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
My neighbors have told me time and time again about how they refuse to help their kids with homework because they don't have the patience. I have very little patience, but with my own kids, I sit down and help, when needed. My neighbor ships her kids, 2nd and 4th grade, to a neighbor's house to do something that takes my daughter 5 minutes. The neighbor kids could probably do it in 5 minutes too if their parents gave a rat's arse to help them sit down and look at it.
I am a teacher myself, but I cannot work with my own child. He just hates schoolwork with a passion. If I pull out a book, he'll start crying, or get angry and throw things. He is normally really well-behaved, but he just has some kind of anxiety about this one thing. He was not like this before kindergarten. I still think public school ruined my child's love of learning. So there is only so much stress I'm willing to have in our lives, and I won't have our time together ruined - and his childhood ruined - by spending all our free time with him miserable over having to do pointless homework assignments.
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Old 02-09-2016, 04:35 PM
 
2,855 posts, read 10,411,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
Boys develop more slowly than girls and are generally later readers and writers. They also have a great deal more difficulty on average than girls do with quiet activities and sitting still all day. It has been a problem for many years in elementary school, but most people don't pay much attention to it since the focus is always on ways in which girls are disadvantaged. But that's actually not true until later.
This comment makes it seem like you are making excuses for your son based on his gender. I have two boys, both spoke early and were reading before kindergarten with my assistance. They can both sit still at an activity just as long as my daughter. I also have two nephews who are the same.

Too many parents are quick to explain negative behaviors by "boys will be boys". I don't believe in that. I think children behave how parents allow them to behave...unless of course they have a diagnosed disability of some kind.

How are schools focusing on girls being disadvantaged? How exactly are girls disadvantaged?

You should motivate your son and tell him he can do it, because he is smart! Don't blame the system or the teacher without giving all your efforts at home first with support from the school, it might make a world of a difference. If you find no change consult with other parents in the school to see if they validate your feelings of too much homework. If they do then as a group you can do something about it. Bring it up with administration and make a change.

If you are creative, you can find a way to make homework a fun time, it doesn't need to be stressful. Take breaks. Offer rewards for each worksheet he completes. For math I will often get out snacks and incorporate them into our lesson for showing mulitplication or division or simple adding. Then let the kids eat them when the problem is complete. Sometimes we even have some laughs!
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Old 02-09-2016, 04:49 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,352,044 times
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I tend to roll my eyes at busywork in elementary school.

To answer your question, my kindergartner brings home packets on Monday that are due on Friday, and reads for 15 minutes.

My 3rd and 5th graders have nightly assignments that usually takes them 15-30 minutes to complete, and then they read for about an hour. (requirement is 30 minutes, but I have them read for an hour)
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Old 02-09-2016, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Texas
634 posts, read 706,442 times
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My 1st and 3rd grader's homework: (1) read 20 minutes a day (2) a 2 page math worksheet due at the end of the week (3) new set of words to learn for the entire week (4) 4 math app lesson that is due at the end of the week.

The boys finish their math work in about 10 minutes. They finish their math apps in about 5 minutes. The only thing that takes a while is learning their words but that is driven by me. I want to make sure that they are actually learning their pronunciation, spelling, meaning, and are able to use it in a sentence.

As for ALL projects they send home, I do it (and yes, it is to make a point) and return it. I will stop doing this when they are in 4th grade. All of these projects were some sort of holiday project.
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Old 02-09-2016, 05:26 PM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,977 posts, read 5,745,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
This seems absurd to me. My kid is in school from 8am to almost 3:30pm - why the hell do I need to "teach" him anything after all that time in school? I have to cook dinner, clean, and I bring home work, too. We had no problem with the 20 minutes of reading and the 10 minute word study, but beyond that it just seems inappropriate for that age level, at least for a boy. I'm going to have to disagree here - I don't plan to have school in my house after school.
That's ok. Your son probably won't be a super high achieving academic student. Not everyone can be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
Boys develop more slowly than girls and are generally later readers and writers. They also have a great deal more difficulty on average than girls do with quiet activities and sitting still all day. It has been a problem for many years in elementary school, but most people don't pay much attention to it since the focus is always on ways in which girls are disadvantaged. But that's actually not true until later.
Seriously? You seriously believe this? Good thing no one told my 3 boys this "news". All 3 were reading before they started Kindergarten, and all are exceptional writers. Two of the 3 were writing tutors in their respective universities. All 3 loved (and still do) their quiet time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
I am a teacher myself, but I cannot work with my own child. He just hates schoolwork with a passion. If I pull out a book, he'll start crying, or get angry and throw things. He is normally really well-behaved, but he just has some kind of anxiety about this one thing. He was not like this before kindergarten. I still think public school ruined my child's love of learning. So there is only so much stress I'm willing to have in our lives, and I won't have our time together ruined - and his childhood ruined - by spending all our free time with him miserable over having to do pointless homework assignments.
Then hire a tutor. Perhaps you should consider private school. What kind of teacher are you? (I'm seriously asking - what do you teach and what age group do you teach?)
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:17 PM
 
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Homework should really just be practice of the skills learned. In elementary school, homework (if it's given at all) should maybe include reading, practicing math skills learned, etc. Homework that has not yet been taught should not come home for parents to teach. I always heard as a rule of thumb that it should be 10 minutes per grade. So a 3rd grader gets 30 minutes.

My kids are middle and high school now. Of my three kids, one requires considerable assistance with much of his homework because of his disability. O. M. G. It is really difficult to encourage and help a child who is having meltdowns over homework that his siblings could do in 15 minutes. It takes HOURS. I work 45+ hours a week and it's really hard to find the time to help. I get it. Sleep is also a priority. Lack of sleep just makes him less likely to learn and makes it more difficult for people to work with him (teachers and parents). I prioritize helping him because I think it's important for him to be successful, but sometimes it seems more stressful for all of us than helpful. For my other two, it's generally a non-issue. They get it done independently. I am called upon to help out sometimes and I check in with them, but they don't need as much support.
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Old 02-09-2016, 09:32 PM
 
13,254 posts, read 9,874,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GraceKrispy View Post
Homework should really just be practice of the skills learned. In elementary school, homework (if it's given at all) should maybe include reading, practicing math skills learned, etc. Homework that has not yet been taught should not come home for parents to teach. I always heard as a rule of thumb that it should be 10 minutes per grade. So a 3rd grader gets 30 minutes.

My kids are middle and high school now. Of my three kids, one requires considerable assistance with much of his homework because of his disability. O. M. G. It is really difficult to encourage and help a child who is having meltdowns over homework that his siblings could do in 15 minutes. It takes HOURS. I work 45+ hours a week and it's really hard to find the time to help. I get it. Sleep is also a priority. Lack of sleep just makes him less likely to learn and makes it more difficult for people to work with him (teachers and parents). I prioritize helping him because I think it's important for him to be successful, but sometimes it seems more stressful for all of us than helpful. For my other two, it's generally a non-issue. They get it done independently. I am called upon to help out sometimes and I check in with them, but they don't need as much support.
I'm with you. My child struggles with focus and schoolwork. She finds it both boring and confusing simultaneously. I think people who don't have kids who struggle academically have no clue how difficult it is dealing with the tears and meltdowns over homework. It's miserable for the whole family. As you said, it takes hours instead of 30 to 40 minutes. It's exhausting.

My main fear is that the discord not only derails her love of learning but the frustration that we all deal with interferes negatively with our home life.

Unfortunately homework is part of her grade this year in third grade, so there's not much getting around it. We've tried several different strategies since kindergarten to help make it more routine and not so stressful, and again we're going to meet with the counselor and her teacher to see what else we can all come up with. She's being evaluated for an IEP, but meanwhile the homework monster rolls on.

They're in school all day, very little recess, very little physical activity - after all that I don't think struggling over homework at that age is beneficial for those kids who don't just breeze through it, I actually think it's detrimental - especially if the kid had not grasped the concepts and the parent is trying to teach and potentially confusing the issue further.
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Old 02-09-2016, 10:47 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 2,158,837 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
I can't keep up with my 6 year old's homework. At first it was 10 minutes a night (worksheets) in addition to 20 minutes of reading. That seemed reasonable. Now the "special projects" have begun, and if we don't keep up on everything we get behind and then have to work for an hour or two in one night to catch up. For example, this week they had to do a big math project that involved creating something (that they couldn't do alone), plus illustrate their own storybook, plus do Valentine cards for 30 kids (which they were required to hand write). And still had the usual 10 minute worksheet and 20 minutes reading. We did almost nothing, because our time was taken up with crying and whining and threatening, and finally I gave up. He just felt so overwhelmed by the amount of it, that he shut down and wouldn't do anything. I have a full-time job and don't have time to do my 6 years old's homework every night. Is this normal? Does anyone else have this much work? I know some people have kids that can do it easily on their own, but mine cannot. He's working on grade level, but just barely. He can write one or two sentences easily, but not a whole story, and he can't read the directions on his homework by himself.
That's a lot of homework for a first grader. Reading is good. So is a little bit of math, but the rest sounds like a bit much.

Kids need to be kids. They spend all day in school. Home should be time for family. Not school work.
Just my ten years teaching opinion.
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Old 02-10-2016, 10:23 AM
 
1,955 posts, read 1,751,687 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
Boys develop more slowly than girls and are generally later readers and writers. They also have a great deal more difficulty on average than girls do with quiet activities and sitting still all day. It has been a problem for many years in elementary school, but most people don't pay much attention to it since the focus is always on ways in which girls are disadvantaged. But that's actually not true until later.
Boys mature more slowly than girls, yes. And they have a great deal more difficulty on average than girls do with quiet activities and sitting still all day, yes. But I've never heard that they are later readers and writers. They read and write just fine in comparison to their girl counterparts, they just may be standing up and bouncing around under the table while writing, and reading less mature selections (Captain Underpants, anyone?) Maturity is NOT the same as academic learning capacity.

I think you are underestimating your son.
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