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Boys mature more slowly than girls, yes. And they have a great deal more difficulty on average than girls do with quiet activities and sitting still all day, yes. But I've never heard that they are later readers and writers. They read and write just fine in comparison to their girl counterparts, they just may be standing up and bouncing around under the table while writing, and reading less mature selections (Captain Underpants, anyone?) Maturity is NOT the same as academic learning capacity.
I think you are underestimating your son.
Boys do read later than girls. It's unclear exactly why but they do.
This article is kinda saying the same things that I am. Boys these days are not reading later than girls because they can't, they are reading later than girls because public schools have shifted towards more girl-friendly teaching styles in the early grades.
From the article:
"Most teachers are not schooled in dealing with children's biological differences, experts say, and many teachers beyond the third-grade level do not understand that they can do a lot to build up students' reading skills and confidence.
"If we don't teach reading and writing to boys in a boy-friendly way, they will continue to fall behind," said Michael Gurian, author and co-founder of the Spokane, Wash.-based Gurian Institute, which trains educators in gender differences in learning. "
I agree with this completely, and it's one of the reasons why I think it is SO important for parents of young boys to work with them after school, ESPECIALLY in reading. OP, YOU know how your kid best learns, and if you don't know, you can easily experiment and figure it out. And you can present phonics and sight words and all of it in a way that's best for YOUR CHILD, in a low stress 1 on 1 environment, in a way that your child's teacher will never be able to match.
My daughter learned how to read in preschool, without much effort, because her learning style exactly matched their teaching style. I didn't have to do anything, really. My son, on the other hand, has not learned a single thing in preschool, except running around outside and making giant castles with blocks. But at home, I tried a few different phonics programs, and got him on hooked on phonics, where we rotated between video, text, ipad, and manipulatives, taught in 3 minute intervals for 20 minutes a day, interspersed with breaks to run around, let him stand up or climb on things during his lessons, and boom. He learned to read to a Kindergarten level in about 3 months at age 4. Because I taught him the way HE learns. (3 months later, he's now reading at a 1st grade level. 20 minutes a day with mom.)
OP, You have a boy, barely at grade level, who learns like a boy. He's NOT getting everything he needs at school. You NEED to help your kid. He needs MORE attention from you after school than girls do, not LESS. You have it all backwards, my friend. You know this, in your heart, or you wouldn't be posting here. It's still early, you have a real good chance to get him off on the right foot, if you do it NOW. If you wait a few years, it will only get worse, and then his confidence will be completely shattered, and it will be an uphill battle. Right now you can still convince him he can do it, just by telling him he can, as long as he puts the work in. And you help him.
OP, You're a teacher. Come on. Teach your kid. The teacher at school is going to do her best, and then at the end of the year, if she didn't get through to him, she'll feel bad for a minute, and then she will move on. No consequences. YOU are the one who will be there, who can be there for him year to year, helping him, encouraging him. YOU are the one who can make a real difference. You can do it. Just do it. He's counting on you.
I am a teacher myself, but I cannot work with my own child. He just hates schoolwork with a passion. If I pull out a book, he'll start crying, or get angry and throw things. He is normally really well-behaved, but he just has some kind of anxiety about this one thing. He was not like this before kindergarten. I still think public school ruined my child's love of learning. So there is only so much stress I'm willing to have in our lives, and I won't have our time together ruined - and his childhood ruined - by spending all our free time with him miserable over having to do pointless homework assignments.
So in all the years that he had only you, he loved learning. Now since he has gone to public school, it has ruined his love of learning. This should tell you something.
You are drawing the opposite conclusion from this than you're supposed to. He loves learning from mom, hates learning from school, so you're going to decide that all of his learning will be at school, and none from mom? No, of course not. You need to do what you can to maximize the amount of learning time he gets every day that can be done in a way that he loves, that works for him. If that's mom teaching him, then do that. If you need to change schools, then do that. But do something. Don't quit on him because it's hard. All good things worth doing are hard.
I can't keep up with my 6 year old's homework. At first it was 10 minutes a night (worksheets) in addition to 20 minutes of reading. That seemed reasonable. Now the "special projects" have begun, and if we don't keep up on everything we get behind and then have to work for an hour or two in one night to catch up. For example, this week they had to do a big math project that involved creating something (that they couldn't do alone), plus illustrate their own storybook, plus do Valentine cards for 30 kids (which they were required to hand write). And still had the usual 10 minute worksheet and 20 minutes reading. We did almost nothing, because our time was taken up with crying and whining and threatening, and finally I gave up. He just felt so overwhelmed by the amount of it, that he shut down and wouldn't do anything. I have a full-time job and don't have time to do my 6 years old's homework every night. Is this normal? Does anyone else have this much work? I know some people have kids that can do it easily on their own, but mine cannot. He's working on grade level, but just barely. He can write one or two sentences easily, but not a whole story, and he can't read the directions on his homework by himself.
Welcome to the school years. You need to make time.
Since 1st grade, a page or 2 of math and 15-30 minutes of reading has been standard. 2 special projects plus valentines seems like too much for one week for a 6 year old.
Maybe break it down into smaller parts so he isn't overwhelmed. Have him try for 10 minutes then take a break. Promise that he can work for one hour then stop. That has always been acceptable to teachers IME. They want an effort, but they don't want the kids to shut down.
They were actually required to hand write valentines? This year I bought both my kids bags of candy and told them to give one piece to each kid. No names necessary. It took me until 6th grade to reach this point, though.
I do sympathize. I also work and I also hate helping with homework. Some nights are better than others. We do have meltdowns, but they are becoming less frequent.
Talk to the teacher and see if s/he'll give you some leeway or guidance on what to skip or how long to work before calling it a night.
Just a brief comment. My children attended a French Immersion elementary school. They had about the same amount of homework, perhaps more than some kids, and all of the directions and instructions on worksheets and homework assignments were in French (a language that my spouse and I did not speak). Guess what? We parents were able to manage just fine. The only time we ever had a slight problem was giving practice spelling tests & helping them with a word that they did not know in a French reading assignment. This was before the internet so we could not just google search the correct pronunciation of a word.
Both of my children started good study habits and homework habits in kindergarten and that helped them continue to be good students all the way through school.
And, yes, both my husband and I worked full time, normally 60 or more hours a week and our children were active in scouts, sports and other activities. Sometimes, you just have to "make the time" for what is important.
Just a brief comment. My children attended a French Immersion elementary school. They had about the same amount of homework, perhaps more than some kids, and all of the directions and instructions on worksheets and homework assignments were in French (a language that my spouse and I did not speak). Guess what? We parents were able to manage just fine. The only time we ever had a slight problem was giving practice spelling tests & helping them with a word that they did not know in a French reading assignment. This was before the internet so we could not just google search the correct pronunciation of a word.
Both of my children started good study habits and homework habits in kindergarten and that helped them continue to be good students all the way through school.
And, yes, both my husband and I worked full time, normally 60 or more hours a week and our children were active in scouts, sports and other activities. Sometimes, you just have to "make the time" for what is important.
Off topic - How did you manage? I ask as my daughter is in a Mandarin Immersion program and all of us parents are struggling with the helping of the homework. My daughter was only speaking to me in in Mandarin last night and she told me I needed to figure out what she was saying so I could respond. Um no. She's 6. She needs to speak to her mom in English if she needs something LOL. I know it's helping her to speak it at home. I can help with the flash cards and mini books as they have sound with them.
What did you do over the summer? Did the school have a summer program so they didn't lose what they learned over the summer? This is the 1st year of the program at the ES so they are doing things as they come up. /off topic
It amazes me (in a bad way) that anyone would defend this amount of homework for a little kid. It's pretty indefensible in my book.
People get good at what they practice. If a kid never has any homework until all of a sudden middle school hits and BAM 3 hours a night, they are going to be completely overwhelmed, not know what to do, and be really bad at it. It takes many years to develop good study and homework habits, and if you don't start practicing until middle school then you may not get the hang of it until, say, junior year of high school. And by then it's too late to get the grades that you want to do what you want in college.
A better way, I think, is to start small and gradual when you are young. 10 minutes a day in preschool. 20 minutes a day in Kindergarten. 30 minutes a day in 1st grade. 45 minutes in 2nd grade. 1 hour in 3rd grade. And on up, gradually. By the time you get to middle and high school, you have a deep habit ingrained over many years. You know how to do homework, you know how to best study, you know what works for you, and you're GOOD at it. And it wasn't too stressful to learn it, because you learned it gradually.
And even more, your parents can help with something called scaffolding. It's like how a parent teaches a child to brush their teeth. At first the parent brushes for the child. Then the parent lets the child put on the toothpaste, but does the brushing themselves. Then the parent lets the child brush a bit, and the parent will brush some more after the child has done some. Then the parent will let the child do all the brushing, but will stand behind and watch and tell the child what to do. Then the parent will just watch without saying anything, but check and make sure it's done. Then the parent will not even watch, and will just ask/remind. And then finally the parent will just trust it's being done, because they know that the child has learned it and it has become a habit. This process takes many years.
You can treat homework the same way. In preschool, good homework is to have the parent read to you. The parent does all the work. Then in Kindergarten, have the parent read to you, and maybe color a picture. The parent does most of the work. Then in 1st grade, read with a parent, do a worksheet or 2, and maybe a project over the course of a week that the parent needs to help with. The parent is still doing a good bit of the work, but the child is doing more. And so on, until by middle/high school all the parent has to do is ask/remind, and eventually doesn't even have to do that, because the child will just do it on their own, because it has become a habit.
A lot of parents believe in this philosophy of teaching their children. Slow and steady practice of what's important. Developing good habits gradually. Lots of parent support that tapers off as the children get more proficient, until finally the parent doesn't have to do anything at all, and the child has become self-reliant and responsible.
This is not a bad parenting philosophy. It may not be YOUR philosophy, but it is not a bad one. It's the one I believe in for sure. Doesn't mean it's the best one. But it's certainly not a bad one.
2 special projects plus valentines seems like too much for one week for a 6 year old.
This is true. But I believe the OP explained that these were long term projects that they got behind on. I don't think they were all assigned on Monday and due on Thursday.
My first grader has about a hr of HW every night. 20 minutes of general reading plus a math sheet, ela sheet, social studies or science hw, spelling, and then he has extra hw from his specialist.
Plus he practices his music.
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