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Old 02-12-2016, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Talmadge, San Diego, CA
12,981 posts, read 24,055,887 times
Reputation: 7693

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Think about the example you are setting for your kids. Move back. Take a break from dating. A long break.
Agree.
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Old 02-12-2016, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,283 posts, read 49,863,906 times
Reputation: 67142
Move back.
Do NOT get involved with any more men until your kids are out of the house.

Apologize profusely to your daughter.
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Old 02-12-2016, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,283 posts, read 49,863,906 times
Reputation: 67142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
This. And honestly, I'm having a hard time believing an adult can make so many awful choices. I also wonder how an adult with such terrible judgement has a job and apartment she can return to, that presumably will enable her to support three children. I'm not buying it.
Oh, man, BEEEE-lieve it.

I meet these people every single day. Strangely, they all have medicaid...
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Old 02-12-2016, 07:59 PM
 
7,628 posts, read 8,987,533 times
Reputation: 12926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thislifeconfused View Post

I recently left my home and my state to move across the country to live with him. My whole family and he said it was the right thing to do and what I had to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thislifeconfused View Post

I actually have a third child who is in between ages. Her father is the man I was living with for five years back home. My 13 year old likes him a lot. He is really good with her. He talks to her, helps her with her homework and does what you would want a step parent to do. She told him to not let me leave. I should have listened. He didn't want me to leave either. We never fought. I'm not saying everything was perfect but I think sometimes you don't realize what you have until it is gone. I broke his heart pretty bad when he found my online affair. I am truly sorry for the hurt and pain I have caused. I want to fix it but I don't know how.

What do you think I could do to win the middle child's father back? He loves and misses his daughter but he is pretty sad and angry with what I did. Do you think there is ever a way I could get back with him? If so, what should I do?
Your entire family said the right thing to do was leave him; and now you are wondering what to do to get him back?!?!?? You can't stop yourself from making mistakes.

Seriously, you need to get some help. You are the worst role model for your children. This behavior will likely teach your daughters to follow in your footsteps. I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter was pregnant at 14, like you were.
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Old 02-12-2016, 08:04 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,509,210 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
Your entire family said the right thing to do was leave him; and now you are wondering what to do to get him back?!?!?? You can't stop yourself from making mistakes.

Seriously, you need to get some help. You are the worst role model for your children. This behavior will likely teach your daughters to follow in your footsteps. I wouldn't be surprised if your daughter was pregnant at 14, like you were.
You might not follow all her posts, but she was pregnant by "rape of a child" when she was 14. You can hardly throw blame at her for that. She was a victim...and I think she is stunted. She needs help to recover from what ever stunted her (the rape or other things, or all of the above).

It is too easy to throw her under the bus...but it isn't going to help her recover.
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Old 02-12-2016, 08:20 PM
 
7,628 posts, read 8,987,533 times
Reputation: 12926
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post

It is too easy to throw her under the bus...but it isn't going to help her recover.
My advice was to get help. Do you have other advice that will help her recover?
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Old 02-12-2016, 08:55 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,509,210 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
My advice was to get help. Do you have other advice that will help her recover?
I agree she needs help to recover. But the post sounded blame filled...esp the bit about her daughter becoming pregnant at 14. The OP was raped...she needs a lot of help. She has made big mistakes. Her children suffer. I just think its better to be supportive then flippant and blame her. Yes, she is the adult now...thats why she needs to pull it together and get help. And damage has been done. But it is never too late.
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Old 02-12-2016, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis
18 posts, read 10,587 times
Reputation: 44
Who in the hell gets up & leaves to be with some that they have met of Facebook. You have issues & it is WRONG to put your daughter (Children) in this type of situation. You don't know that f-ing man!!! He could be a rapist or pedophile. Have you ever watched MTV's- Catfish? People on the internet very rarely turn out to be who they claim to be. I personally think it is time for you to grow up!!! Adults don't just drop their job or break their lease to go be with someone. He wooed you for a "couple" of weeks. So.. you only knew this fool for 2 weeks, before you high-tailed it? (face palm) If I was your daughter, I wouldn't want to move back in with you either. Children need stability in their lives & they also need to feel SAFE!!!! I think your daughter is old enough to make the choice of where she wants to live. It sounds like you & your daughter's father need to work out some issues. You mentioned "children" in your post... so you have multiple children with different men? What does the other man think about you leaving the state? It is wrong to take a child away from their biological father.
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Old 02-12-2016, 09:25 PM
 
12,932 posts, read 19,831,249 times
Reputation: 33994
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
You might not follow all her posts, but she was pregnant by "rape of a child" when she was 14. You can hardly throw blame at her for that. She was a victim...and I think she is stunted. She needs help to recover from what ever stunted her (the rape or other things, or all of the above).

It is too easy to throw her under the bus...but it isn't going to help her recover.
Then why is her daughter's father even in the picture, much less given access to the 13 yr old?
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Old 02-12-2016, 09:25 PM
 
16 posts, read 14,200 times
Reputation: 47
I'll just stop here. Thanks for the advice. But you are getting my story confused. I'm sure that because of the way I wrote it.

I still wouldn't consider returning to my home to live with my second daughters father, who always treated us well. I wouldn't consider that "dating". But I haven't even gone there yet so..... Thanks for the help.
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