U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-13-2016, 02:35 PM
 
15,812 posts, read 13,270,008 times
Reputation: 19712

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
So you are choosing what parts of the op to believe. I choose to believe that it is a long drive for a weekend visit, and that the daughter is missing out on her dance team practice. Is it 4 hours, not 5? Maybe. That's still a long way, and it doesn't change the fact that she's missing her practice.
No I am pointing out I am skeptical about the facts that directly correlate to the items mom is so bitter about, and with every post dad is getting to be more and more horrific. A narcissist? Something like 6% of the population are narcissists, the odds of him and his whole family being narcissists is slim. But even if he is, it still begs the questions, why marry and have a child with a narcissist sprung from a whole family of them? Those "facts" she would have reasons to exaggerate, it is human nature. What reason would she have to exaggerate his visitation? None.

And if the daughter is missing practice, and it is such a big deal, TALK TO HER FATHER ABOUT IT. Skipping that step to bash him on the internet so she can get some "atta girls" from the forum does not speak well to the actual need to fix the specific issue.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-13-2016, 03:07 PM
 
Location: here
24,484 posts, read 28,875,378 times
Reputation: 31077
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
My advice would be literally, exactly the same. [/b]The daughter should talk to her father, and figure something out. If that doesn't work, that is why family courts exist.

But mom's bitterness is apparent every time she brings up the girlfriend, the divorce, the move, all multiple times. Bitter and angry people exaggerate, so maybe the 5 hours is not precise. Maybe it is, but if she couldn't keep her issues with her ex, out of a thread about his parenting, what are the odds she keeps it out of her discussions with her daughter?
Then mom's bitterness doesn't matter.

I've read some unbelievable scenarios here, but this one doesn't raise a flag with me.

Venting here has no bearing on how she discusses things with her daughter. I have divorced friends who vent to me. They never bad-mouth the ex in front of their kids. One has nothing to do with the other.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 03:43 PM
 
15,812 posts, read 13,270,008 times
Reputation: 19712
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Then mom's bitterness doesn't matter.

I've read some unbelievable scenarios here, but this one doesn't raise a flag with me.

Venting here has no bearing on how she discusses things with her daughter. I have divorced friends who vent to me. They never bad-mouth the ex in front of their kids. One has nothing to do with the other.
This one is pure opinion and we will have to agree to disagree. I have friends who "vent" to, the difference is the ones who have to bring what the ex did into any conversation about the kids, tend to be the ones who cannot keep their bitterness from bubbling over to their kids, whether through direct conversation or more subtle means.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 04:08 PM
 
2,937 posts, read 1,675,356 times
Reputation: 6648
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
My advice would be literally, exactly the same. The daughter should talk to her father, and figure something out. If that doesn't work, that is why family courts exist.
She's 13 yrs old, I don't know many 13 year olds even in the best situation that could have a talk with their parent about their custody schedule. At 13 her opinion should absolutely matter, but it shouldn't be on her to ask for the changes. That's for her parents to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Then mom's bitterness doesn't matter.

I've read some unbelievable scenarios here, but this one doesn't raise a flag with me.

Venting here has no bearing on how she discusses things with her daughter. I have divorced friends who vent to me. They never bad-mouth the ex in front of their kids. One has nothing to do with the other.
Exactly. I think she's actually been very reserved compared to how most bitter people talk when given an anonymous platform to talk on.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 04:44 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,553,694 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
This is what you said. I took this to mean that you think she's just bitter and isn't trying hard enough, as if she has any control over the 5 hour commute or the dance team schedule. Obviously if she wants a change, she needs to make an official move toward that. I'm wondering why they ever though the every other weekend thing would work at all.
The creation of a paragraph means you have moved to a different thought or idea. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/606/01/
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 04:47 PM
 
Location: here
24,484 posts, read 28,875,378 times
Reputation: 31077
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
The creation of a paragraph means you have moved to a different thought or idea. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/606/01/
Lots of attitude around CD today...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 04:50 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,553,694 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Lots of attitude around CD today...
It is important for people to understand rules of writing, english and grammar so they can fully understand and not misunderstand or misrepresent what a person is saying. Just sharing information.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 04:51 PM
 
Location: here
24,484 posts, read 28,875,378 times
Reputation: 31077
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
It is important for people to understand rules of writing, english and grammar so they can fully understand and not misunderstand or misrepresent what a person is saying. Just sharing information.
right. Of course you are. Thank you so much for that. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 04:56 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,553,694 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
right. Of course you are. Thank you so much for that. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Glad I could help! Hope you are having a nice weekend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-13-2016, 06:26 PM
 
15,812 posts, read 13,270,008 times
Reputation: 19712
Quote:
Originally Posted by WeHa View Post
She's 13 yrs old, I don't know many 13 year olds even in the best situation that could have a talk with their parent about their custody schedule. At 13 her opinion should absolutely matter, but it shouldn't be on her to ask for the changes. That's for her parents to do.



Exactly. I think she's actually been very reserved compared to how most bitter people talk when given an anonymous platform to talk on.
Really? I know literally dozens of teens that are capable of telling heir father they have dance practice and then ask if he could pick them up Saturday morning.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top