U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-20-2016, 02:56 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,498,767 times
Reputation: 23714

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
No there is nothing wrong with tattoos.


There is something wrong however, with rushing out and getting tattoos because your BFF did.


My kids KNOW this. They may get a tattoo in later life, heck, so might their mother - but they aren't about to permanently engrave some Fashion onto their backs for it to bleed fade and Mark their Age like Celtic Tattoos do to 90s Hipsters.


Basically they thought engraving your skin at an age where you don't even have a house yet, was Stupid.


Stupid. Not Wrong or Ugly or Branding, but NOT SMART.


They probably overheard me LOLing about it, not Ranting about it! They heard me Thinking Out Loud, all their lives.


If they asked me for advice, I rarely Gave it - I almost always said, THINK ABOUT IT then engaged them in a conversation about it. I was never, No and Ill hear no more. I was, No, and here's why. I spoke to them, constantly, on a rational and logical level.


What do you think may happen if you do that?<<<<<my secret


When my daughter came crying to me because she was left out as the only one who wasn't boy crazy (shed been put up a year remember) I said to her, well, whats the rush?


it was a serious question, I actually wanted her to answer it.


She thought for a second and said, I think they're being STUPID running around after boys at 14. Boys are a Pain and we have School work to do.


ITA my love, I said happily.


She grew up to be Utterly Normal if not a little square, a virgin until 19 when she had her first love. No drugs no wild nights, no pushing boundaries because she knew what happened by watching her friends make the Mistakes and being likely The Only One who could openly converse with her mother about anything at all.
Didn't you say in a post in the non-romantic relationships forum that you were abused and that the cycle continues on with your children (but that it wasn't your fault)?

I think if you abused your kids or allowed them to be abused, you are out of line for mother of the year award and tats are the least of your worry with your children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-28-2016, 07:05 PM
 
11,922 posts, read 6,567,285 times
Reputation: 11513
Quote:
Originally Posted by .sparrow. View Post
You sound like an awesome mom.
You're kidding, right?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2016, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,136 posts, read 3,642,102 times
Reputation: 13539
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowne View Post
You're kidding, right?
Kidding or hasn't read the whole thread to give such a compliment.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-28-2016, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Sunshine Coast, QLD
3,150 posts, read 2,132,842 times
Reputation: 4533
Well OP, my lovely partner and I plan to have our first child together in the next year or so. We look forward to purchasing your book on how to be a near-perfect parent, and raise near-perfect kids.
We can only hope our child or children are anywhere near as amazing, smart, and perfect as yours. I'd love to shake all of your hands, but fear turning into gold.
Oh btw, our neighbors son regularly uses words like "exhilarating" and "literally" in proper context. He will be 5 in June. Hmmmm maybe his mom should be writing books too!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2016, 06:55 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,981 posts, read 32,696,264 times
Reputation: 57074
I was raised by a mother with bipolar disorder. When she was "up," she was an awesome mom. I mean that sincerely. That is, until she reached her zenith and began expecting us to work 12 hour days hauling rocks in buckets from one end of the yard to the other. Then she would crash and retreat to her bed and we'd fend for ourselves. Or she'd pack up her stuff, tell us to be sure to do the laundry and get off to school in the morning, and she'd head down the interstate toward her mom's house four states away. Or she'd "snap" and beat the living tar out of my preschool age brother (he lucked up and became "the whipping boy" while I hid out in my bedroom with my head under a pillow, and then tried later to convince my enabling father that things were completely out of control when he was gone).

But in between those episodes, she was a great mom - she'd do art projects, cooking projects, big birthday parties, etc with us kids. She'd read to us, sing to us, encourage our talents, etc. And to this day that's what SHE remembers about raising us. She claims to have absolutely no recollection of any abuse on her part, and in fact insists that we three kids somehow got together and created these false memories.

Now she's in her late seventies and has stroke damage and mild dementia - I find it interesting that her actual physical ailments are all brain related, since I believe that most mental illness (maybe even all mental illness) is organic in nature. I honestly believe that unfortunately her brain is her weakest organ.

I love my mom and see no point in continuing to chastise her and try to convince her that growing up with a mentally ill mom was very difficult. I always knew there was "something wrong" with my mom, and felt a certain level of protective love for her and sympathy, which was easier for me than it was for my brother because I wasn't the object of very much of her physical abuse and I figured out pretty early how to lay low with her.

I suspect that the OP's kids could probably relate very well to my story.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2016, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,645,868 times
Reputation: 46995
My DH's ex is bipolar and the kids suffered terribly. One day they came home to a completely EMPTY house- no clothes, no furniture, no food, even the guinea pig was gone. She gave it all away to charity. The child support check were not cahsed in a timely manner and it disturbed me cause I knew they needed the money. Once a kid called me to say she found 6 uncashed MONTHLY checks in the bottom of a drawer and there was no food in the house and mom would not let them go on a field trip because of lack of funds. When I spoke to her about the first 3 I wondered if she had received them. She said she had but was saving them for a rainy day. Finally my husband called her and said she needed to cash them within 1 week of receiving them for the good of the children and our own bookkeeping. She does not remember this to this day but the kids sure do.

Twice she was hospitalized and taken away in front of the children in straight jackets. Her family never let their father know because they were afraid he/we would try to take the kids away. And we would have and it would have been better for all concerned. The kids are now in their 50s and gorked, some worse than the others. Very sad indeed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-01-2016, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,227,629 times
Reputation: 10153
That's so sad Kathryn, must have been very stressful for you kids growing up

Edit: Damn No kudzu, those poor kids.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-02-2016, 01:20 PM
ptt
 
404 posts, read 400,224 times
Reputation: 585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
You could think that - but the same folk who are shooting me down for raising successful kids
Please, define successful kids. The definition of success may not be the same for everyone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top