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Old 02-14-2016, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,077 posts, read 16,885,085 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Me 82 View Post
So at what point would you throw in the towel? If you had an 3-1/2 - 4 year old who still liked pooping and urinating in their diapers, would you just wait it out bc they are not ready? Did you use more of a timeline, like by this age or by this number of days the kid will be toilet trained? Does it come to a point where you the adult have to be the one to iniate(sp) training?
My neighbor's kid was 5 1/2 going into Kinder before he decided to get potty trained. The mom tried everything, and he just didn't care. It got too expensive in pull ups that she just put diapers back on him, and he didn't care. He has an older sister and he didn't care about being like her. He would sit on the couch and just pee. He would go out in public.

The end of Summer before Kinder, he finally decided he would go in the toilet, and from that point on, he did. He was just being stubborn and didn't care about the mess. Didn't care that he was wet. Didn't care about anything. He wanted to decide when he was ready. He has a Fall birthday, so that put him at almost 6. He's now 9 and no harm done.
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Old 02-14-2016, 06:25 PM
 
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When my daughter was about 2 1/2, I told her to let me know when she was ready to give up diapers. One day when she woke up, she announced that she was ready. She had a few accidents that day so I kept her in diapers at night. The problem was that she didn't want to poop in the potty so she waited until the night time diaper was put on her.

We talked to our pediatrician who told us to just take the diaper off at night because she wouldn't poop in her training pants. Sure enough, he was right about that.

Some years later I read an article that said when kids did what she did, it meant that they weren't really ready to give up their diapers.

All that said, I've read that girls are ready before boys when it comes to toilet training. That seems to be the case as my 3 grandsons were very slow to give up their diapers.
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Old 02-14-2016, 09:45 PM
 
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I was somewhere in between. I definitely took the lead with introducing the potty, asking him to go try etc, but it took a few tries until he was 'ready' and got the concept. We took it slow but started early, i introduced him to the potty around 18 months but only really started trying to potty train after 2 and he was day trained by 2,5. Night trained himself a year later, that was a purely physiological thing that his body had to be ready for, slept in pull up till then. My family (who are old school from a culture of very early toilet training and were horrified) had all sorts of crazy suggestions like setting an alarm and getting up a few times a night to get him up and take him to the potty, or putting him down in undies so he wakes up from being wet, even if it means changing the sheets at night. I said no thank you, lol. One night, he just woke up himself to go potty, and from then on went from a full soaking pull up in the morning to staying dry, getting up once or twice to pee, and in fact has not had a single nighttime accident since that night. Sometimes it's just easier on everyone to be lazy, lol.
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Old 02-14-2016, 10:27 PM
 
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Three kids. All three trained at different times, and it was basically child-led after I started them off by introing the toileting experience I didn't do anything substantially different with any of them (and they're 18 months apart, so it's not like my philosophy changed drastically between kids).

Child 1- male- trained around 2.5yo
Child 2- male- trained around 4.5yo
Child 3- female- trained around 18mo
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:51 PM
 
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Is your little guy around other boys his age who are using the toilet? Usually when they see the others doing it, they start doing it too.
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:55 PM
 
Location: Texas
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Sorry.
If you can talk in complete sentences, you can poo in a potty.
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Old 02-15-2016, 06:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I only have direct experience with my own three kids, but of course I've observed plenty of others. The two basic schools are "make them do it" and "wait until they decide they want to do it." I'm more on the first side. I took away diapers during the day and used training pants, I arranged my schedule to stay mostly home for the first week until they got the hang of it, I made them sit on the potty at intervals and used whatever incentives seemed to motivate them. My kids all trained fairly easily between 2 and 2.5. Also, I did have a false start with my second daughter. I was hoping she would be out of diapers before my third child arrived, but after a few days I could tell that she truly was not ready, and I put it aside for a couple of months. The second time, she got it quickly.

My observation is that the "wait until they want to" kids were usually not trained until 3.5 to 4 years old (of course there are exceptions). The older they get, the more stubbornness and being set in their ways seems to play a role. I personally was unwilling to cheerfully change diapers on 3-year-olds and wait for them to take the lead. Other parents do not seem to mind at all. Another point is that kids that age are more competent. As soon as they are out of diapers, they tend to be trained both day and night, are able to get on and off the potty, wipe, and pull underwear up and down, etc. I've heard this advanced as a benefit of waiting and I've even heard it said that a child who cannot do all of the above independently is not really toilet trained. For my part, having to spend even a year helping my child use the potty was far better than an extra year of buying and changing diapers.

I also used pull-ups only at night. They're too much like a diaper to be really helpful in training, in my opinion.
I used this system too. I just quit buying diapers. I used plastic over pants and regular underwear. My child wore pull ups to bed.

I think potty training at age two is much easier than trying at 3-4. If you do decide to wait, I think letting them decide is fine. It can become a huge problem.

In my extended family most kids are potty trained by age 4, but there is one who took forever. He was almost 5 1/2. He just refused to go.
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Old 02-15-2016, 06:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
My neighbor's kid was 5 1/2 going into Kinder before he decided to get potty trained. The mom tried everything, and he just didn't care. It got too expensive in pull ups that she just put diapers back on him, and he didn't care. He has an older sister and he didn't care about being like her. He would sit on the couch and just pee. He would go out in public.

The end of Summer before Kinder, he finally decided he would go in the toilet, and from that point on, he did. He was just being stubborn and didn't care about the mess. Didn't care that he was wet. Didn't care about anything. He wanted to decide when he was ready. He has a Fall birthday, so that put him at almost 6. He's now 9 and no harm done.
There are always a few kids like this. They eventually get it. I've only had two come to kinder in pull ups. One had accidents because his clothesline were too tight and he had a complicated belt. The other had anger issues and the mom was a bit neurotic about stuff, as she loved that he "needed" her.
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Old 02-15-2016, 06:36 AM
 
10,387 posts, read 7,467,722 times
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A psychology professor once said that toilet training is something that can affect behavior for life. I know it seems a stretch but I suppose it's been studied.

Every time son was placed in warm bath, son peed. So I got a potty chair, placed it by the tub and, before putting him in the tub, put him on the potty chair. He went right away and was so thrilled with himself! He was about 18 months.

Second son enjoyed sneaking outside and using the great outdoors. I highly discouraged this - when I could catch him at it. (2 or 3yrs old) BUT he grew so fast, not all of his body could keep up so he occasionally wet the bed until he was close to 10. It was humiliating for him and I never scolded, just made it a matter-of-fact clean up process. Always called it what it was: an accident. I find it hard to get upset about accidents to this day. If he was invited to sleep over I would sneak a pull-up into his pajama bag and he'd go in the bathroom to dress for bed. I don't think he ever actually needed it but the horror of ever having an accident at someone else's house. I just didn't make it an issue. It was his body. He grew at an amazing rate. He's 6'3" now but I think he reached 6' by the time he was 12. He always had older teenage girls hitting on him.

OP - I encourage getting your son into a classroom setting such as Mommy's day out, Sunday school, preschool. I think kids want to be like other kids.
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Old 02-15-2016, 07:13 AM
 
5,076 posts, read 6,225,432 times
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First, stop using diapers. Period. Just stop. At that age, barring any special needs, he is fully physically capable of using the potty. He just doesn't want to, so he's not. If he doesn't want to go to bed or take a bath, do you let him just slide on that too?

Sit him down. Explain that when he wakes up tomorrow, all of the diapers will be gone, so he will have to use the potty. And then actually get rid of all the diapers. Some accidents will happen, and in those instances, be supportive. But when he goes, and it's obviously not an accident, make him sit out for a few minutes. It may take him a while to realize you are serious, but it will work. If you've tried before only to go back to diapers, he's learned that if he has enough "accidents," he will get his diapers back since it's always worked for him before.
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