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Old 02-15-2016, 08:37 AM
 
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I wouldn't force, I would try to influence though. 3.5yrs isn't crazy old to still be in a diaper/pull up. We used potty training videos for our kid. Not the end all but I think it had some affect.

I knew a kid who was still in pull ups overnight at the age of 10 or so. Can't be sure if it was the nutty parents not wanting to get the sheets wet though.

Toilets are big scary monsters to some kids, and others for whatever reason just aren't ready. I'd keep that in mind, try to be compassionate rather than impatient, and let them go at it when they are ready (within reason) - again, I would try to influence.

Best of luck.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:30 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,515,436 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
I wouldn't force, I would try to influence though. 3.5yrs isn't crazy old to still be in a diaper/pull up. We used potty training videos for our kid. Not the end all but I think it had some affect.

I knew a kid who was still in pull ups overnight at the age of 10 or so. Can't be sure if it was the nutty parents not wanting to get the sheets wet though.

Toilets are big scary monsters to some kids, and others for whatever reason just aren't ready. I'd keep that in mind, try to be compassionate rather than impatient, and let them go at it when they are ready (within reason) - again, I would try to influence.

Best of luck.
Its somewhat common and not unusual for kids (esp boys) to have night time accidents up until 11 or so. It isn't about being lazy or not trained, its the functioning of the body. If you bring it up with the doctor they tell you to bring them back when they are 12 and still having accidents. Using pull ups or other guard type options is more about dignity then about being lazy.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:39 AM
 
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I think there is a critical age for potty training---generally between 18 months-3 years. And a young 3 years at that. I have raised 4 kids. 2 of them gave me a REALLY hard time about potty training (they are also my most stubborn and difficult children). My easy going kid was a piece of cake. The other child was average I guess (neither easy nor hard). My son was almost 4 and did NOT want to potty train. It was a battle of the wills. It took me getting rid of his diapers and refusing to replace them. He had accidents every day for a month (literally refused to use the potty) and once he realized I wasn't giving in, he begrudgingly potty trained.

Unless there is a developmental disability, no 4 year old should be in diapers (at least not during the day. Bed wetting is common until age 6). I feel like the longer you wait, the harder it is to potty train kids. Take advantage of that critical age for potty training between 2-3. If you wait much past turning 3, using diapers has become a habit and will be much harder to break.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Its somewhat common and not unusual for kids (esp boys) to have night time accidents up until 11 or so. It isn't about being lazy or not trained, its the functioning of the body. If you bring it up with the doctor they tell you to bring them back when they are 12 and still having accidents. Using pull ups or other guard type options is more about dignity then about being lazy.
My son wet the bed until he was 10. It is not uncommon at all.
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Old 02-15-2016, 10:11 AM
 
2,489 posts, read 1,734,735 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Terrier View Post
When one of my daughters was almost three years old I told her if she wanted to pee and poop in her diaper, she would have to change the diaper herself! She was potty trained shortly thereafter.


A friend of mine had a daughter of similar disposition. When she was five, she liked going to the supermarket with the parents just so she could insure that they bought the "right type" of diapers. Bizarro!


Of course I should talk. Fully toilet trained before I can remember, I did require "parental wiping" most of the time, until I was about 7. I figured they'd be expert at it having wiped themselves for like what? 30 years already? (a clean bum was a virtue in my book - yup..way back then). I will not tell the utterly hilarious story of how they broke me of that. It's just too funny.

Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 02-15-2016 at 10:19 AM..
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,339 posts, read 20,599,732 times
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Originally Posted by PanthersPanthers View Post
I think there is a critical age for potty training---generally between 18 months-3 years. And a young 3 years at that. I have raised 4 kids. 2 of them gave me a REALLY hard time about potty training (they are also my most stubborn and difficult children). My easy going kid was a piece of cake. The other child was average I guess (neither easy nor hard). My son was almost 4 and did NOT want to potty train. It was a battle of the wills. It took me getting rid of his diapers and refusing to replace them. He had accidents every day for a month (literally refused to use the potty) and once he realized I wasn't giving in, he begrudgingly potty trained.

Unless there is a developmental disability, no 4 year old should be in diapers (at least not during the day. Bed wetting is common until age 6). I feel like the longer you wait, the harder it is to potty train kids. Take advantage of that critical age for potty training between 2-3. If you wait much past turning 3, using diapers has become a habit and will be much harder to break.
Respectfully disagree. My son was just over four. He wasn't in diapers or pull-ups, he would poop in his underwear. Finally just after his fourth birthday he decided he would use the toilet. My DD taught herself by watching me teach my son, she wasn't quite 2.

Best not to judge other parents, every kid is different
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Old 02-15-2016, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
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A wise and experienced childcare provider told me that training could take six months and a week or it could take a week. I went with the latter and let my kid set the time table. When he was ready, it took a few hours, not even a week. He was 3.5 at the time, and that was when he was ready. I could have forced it before then but this was a whole lot easier for both of us.
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Old 02-15-2016, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,149 posts, read 22,152,810 times
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Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
A wise and experienced childcare provider told me that training could take six months and a week or it could take a week. I went with the latter and let my kid set the time table. When he was ready, it took a few hours, not even a week. He was 3.5 at the time, and that was when he was ready. I could have forced it before then but this was a whole lot easier for both of us.
Yes this. No "battle of wills", no excess laundry, no bullying, pleading, rewards or punishments, no time off work or rearranging of schedules etc etc. When my kids were ready they were ready. A couple of accidents only. Very easy.
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Old 02-15-2016, 01:05 PM
 
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All three of my kids 'trained themselves' between ages 2.5 and 3. I provided access (to both a child sized potty and an insert on our 'big' toilet) and opportunity-- along with positive reinforcement-- and incentives ('big kid' undies with their favorite characters-- and a 'happy dance' when they did the deed) but once THEY decided they were ready, it was easy. No battles of will-- and few daytime accidents-- I highly recommend waiting until they show signs of readiness.

Maybe because I was a lazy toilet training mom, but I absolutely REFUSED to spend weeks stuck in the house with a toddler peeing/defecating on my floors-- and/or to set alarms in order get my kids up 2-3 times per night just so I could call them "potty trained"-- I also didn't harass/harangue my kids every 5 minutes asking "do you have to go potty? do you have to go potty?"-- I figured that they had to go, they'd let me know-- and, of course, I'd encourage them to go before we left the house and before they took a nap.

Both of my girls were waking up dry for a few weeks to months before consistently being day trained-- my son, who was day trained 6 months younger than his sisters, wore a diaper or pull up to bed for almost 2 years after he was day trained (he had accidents at night probably 3-4 times per month until he was 4 or 5) and still had intermittent nighttime accidents until he was 8 (maybe 1-2 times per year tops) because he was such a deep sleeper.

Short of true developmental or physical anomalies, no kid will be graduating high school will still be in diapers (and most of them will be out of diapers by age 3 or 4); there's also ample research that 'forcing' potty training on a child who isn't ready can lead to poop withholding and other, more serious health issues.
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Old 02-15-2016, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,372 posts, read 25,625,313 times
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We have 6 kids and all of them were using the toilet by age 3. Some younger than that. I spent a weekend with each one and my wife who works nights spent a week before and after getting them going and watching out after that. We figured we are the parents and the kids live in our home. I am laughing at these responses of "when the kid is ready". Be the parent. I am almost betting that the same people did not want to be bothered by it. It is work being a parent. We get to teach these kids all kinds of cool things. What about when you need to teach them to ride a bike without training wheels. Do you wait till they are ready? Kids have accidents. That is part of being a kid. They are learning. They still live in their parents homes and it is the parents time line as far as I am concerned.

When you get ready to teach your kids how to ride a bike, take them outside with the bike and spend a few hours with them. Then let them ride all day. Yes, all the kids fell down. They got hurt in the process, and I made them get back on the bike. By the end of the day they did not want to get off the bike.
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