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Maybe because I was a lazy toilet training mom, but I absolutely REFUSED to spend weeks stuck in the house with a toddler peeing/defecating on my floors-- and/or to set alarms in order get my kids up 2-3 times per night just so I could call them "potty trained"-- I also didn't harass/harangue my kids every 5 minutes asking "do you have to go potty? do you have to go potty?"-- I figured that they had to go, they'd let me know-- and, of course, I'd encourage them to go before we left the house and before they took a nap.
Maybe you're exaggerating? I've been a parent for 16 years now and have many, many friends with children of all ages down to newborn...and I've never heard of or witnessed any of these situations. Weeks stuck in the house? Nagging kids every 5 minutes? Especially, setting alarms to get the child up at night?? Who ever does that?
If you were lazy, I guess I was too lazy (and cheap) to spend an extra 6 months, year, two years++ buying and changing diapers when I didn't have to. A week (never more than a week before they got it) of potty training seemed like a very small tradeoff for freedom from all that hassle.
Maybe you're exaggerating? I've been a parent for 16 years now and have many, many friends with children of all ages down to newborn...and I've never heard of or witnessed any of these situations. Weeks stuck in the house? Nagging kids every 5 minutes? Especially, setting alarms to get the child up at night?? Who ever does that?
If you were lazy, I guess I was too lazy (and cheap) to spend an extra 6 months, year, two years++ buying and changing diapers when I didn't have to. A week (never more than a week before they got it) of potty training seemed like a very small tradeoff for freedom from all that hassle.
Ive known quite a few moms who were like that...but they were moms who were trying to do it super early (because their kid is so special LOL). Normal potty training isn't like that. We never stayed home when we were potty training. Never set an alarm. And I don't think I harassed me kids.
We have 6 kids and all of them were using the toilet by age 3. Some younger than that. I spent a weekend with each one and my wife who works nights spent a week before and after getting them going and watching out after that. We figured we are the parents and the kids live in our home. I am laughing at these responses of "when the kid is ready". Be the parent. I am almost betting that the same people did not want to be bothered by it. It is work being a parent. We get to teach these kids all kinds of cool things. What about when you need to teach them to ride a bike without training wheels. Do you wait till they are ready? Kids have accidents. That is part of being a kid. They are learning. They still live in their parents homes and it is the parents time line as far as I am concerned.
When you get ready to teach your kids how to ride a bike, take them outside with the bike and spend a few hours with them. Then let them ride all day. Yes, all the kids fell down. They got hurt in the process, and I made them get back on the bike. By the end of the day they did not want to get off the bike.
Oldest child graduated college job on hand, married and has a child of her own now; youngest child a senior in college, responsible, good grades, internship in his major and working. I had no issues "being the parent". Trust me on that one. I also had no issues making the decision that battling and/or creating anxiety (theirs or mine)over bathroom usage of all things, wasn't what I wanted to do simply to satisfy someone else's ideas on parenting.
We all did just fine.
I don't think a kid needs to come to you and tell you they are ready (my daughter did, but I don't think its a must). I think as a parent you can tell if they are ready. Are they aware of their bladder/bowel? Are they holding it and going all at once? Are they sneaking away to poop in private? Are they coming to you for a change? Are they interested in being a "big kid"?
I think a parent can gauge if their kid is ready without the kid asking to be trained.
Maybe the take-away message is that your approach doesn't matter all that much in the long run, as long as you don't go to extremes (i.e. spanking a 2-year-old for accidents or sending your kindergartener to school in diapers). It's what you, as a parent, prefer to do.
I, myself, was not okay with the idea of going completely hands-off and continuing to change diapers on 3- or 4-year-olds until they decided they "wanted" to train. (One parent told me the way you know your child is ready to train, is that they tell you they need to go. In my mind, that's when they're done training). So I made the effort to train my kids well before they reached that point. Another parent might have no issues with waiting much longer; that's fine, as long as they don't tell me my method is wrong or harmful.
Maybe the take-away message is that your approach doesn't matter all that much in the long run, as long as you don't go to extremes (i.e. spanking a 2-year-old for accidents or sending your kindergartener to school in diapers). It's what you, as a parent, prefer to do.
I, myself, was not okay with the idea of going completely hands-off and continuing to change diapers on 3- or 4-year-olds until they decided they "wanted" to train. (One parent told me the way you know your child is ready to train, is that they tell you they need to go. In my mind, that's when they're done training). So I made the effort to train my kids well before they reached that point. Another parent might have no issues with waiting much longer; that's fine, as long as they don't tell me my method is wrong or harmful.
Or that you are being lazy or not being the parent or the rest of that nonsense. There are many paths to potty training (and many other parenting choices). There are no health issues that arise if a child isn't potty trained by 2 or 3, no intellectual benefit to the child etc. Potty training is one of those issues that really doesn't impact anyone other than the parent, the child and maybe a caregiver if that applies, so anyone else's opinion (save for perhaps the pediatrician if there are issues) isn't relevant. Do what works out best for you and your family.
Last edited by maciesmom; 02-15-2016 at 01:40 PM..
My older kids were toilet trained when they were ready. There was very little work involved for me/us. They were willing and ready, and it was a smooth and easy process with all of them.
I think I would have strongly encouraged them by age 3. They were 27 months, 19 months and 29 months.
My older son was trained at 26 months. The cloth training pants, thin ones, let the pee run into his socks and he got to rinse his own poopy diaper. We started at 24 months and added the rinsing his own poopy diaper the last 2 weeks before the training was complete.
I also toilet trained our younger son who has Down syndrome. He was fully toilet-trained at 6 years old. We tried all sorts of things with him. We had the pop-up camper out and the portable toilet was there, he saw others using it, discretely of course, climbed on, used it and that was it for him. His issue was stubborn and if we wanted him to do something, it was the last thing in the world that he was going to do.
I did find pull-ups not to work since they didn't give that "feeling" of wet soggy underwear that repulses most.
I waited until my kids were ready and for both of them it was shortly before their third birthday. Potty training consisted of going to the store and picking out underwear of their choice. There were a small handful of accidents over the course of a week and that was that. Waiting until they were ready worked great for us.
When she was around 14 months (?) my dog had a litter of puppies. I had newspaper on the floor for them in the kitchen. She watched the pups going on the paper and decided to do the same! The bathroom was about fifteen feet from the kitchen, so when I saw her starting to go, I scooped her up and sat her on the toilet.
It didn't take her long to get the idea!
The other two didn't mind wearing diapers and only changed their habits when I made them participate in the diaper-changing (as mentioned previously).
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and only changed their habits when I made them participate in the diaper-changing (as mentioned previously).
