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Each experience can be different, there are too many factors involved for there to be a general rule.
In my case, both children were potty trained around the same age, three years and a few months. With the elder sibling, he one day decided himself, with the younger sibling I was keen to get him into a PK-3 program before the school year started, so did cold turkey, immediately no diapers, just shorts or naked, allowing accidents of all colors on pants and floor, took all of 3-4 days. No issues with either since then.
We started introducing the concept when the kids were 2 or so, let them take the lead, daughter was trained by 2 1/2, boys were 3. They were the ones that decided they were done with diapers, were trained in a day as a result.
Boys seem to generally train later than girls. Girls seem to be more interested in staying clean. Boys have other things to do.
We had boy/girl twins. I didn't really "train" them. Pretty soon after age 2, We showed/demonstrated to our kids what to do more than once. Bought the underwear. Once they started showing interest, I would ask them in the morning, "diapers or underwear?" and that would be it for the day.
One day, daughter chose underwear, and never went back.
About six months later, son chose underwear...spend a few nights in a diaper with underwear during the day...and then underwear only.
No pressure. No screaming and crying and threatening and promises and rewards, like my friend and her kids.
I cannot remember two of mine, but my middle, strong willed son I remember vividly! We were in K Mart, he saw spiderman underwear (he was a young one too, maybe around 2-2.5) and he wanted them. I told him, you know what it means if you wear underwear you have to use the toilet. He said okay. And that was it. Never had an accident.
I do remember with the other two that there was no turning back once we started. I do believe there is a window of opportunity, you don't want to miss it. Otherwise, it will be a long road. At some point they watch there parents use the toilet and it is a natural progression to do the same.
I bought Spiderman pants for our boy when he was around two. He wanted to wear them instead of "baby" diapers and we were good to go. He loved peeing on trees and we lived out in the country, so that helped.
Bought fancy rhumba panties for the girls. Same deal, except they did not care for peeing outside. Also, they always wanted to wear the panties backwards so they could see the lace.
Not sure what all the drama about this is about. Our kids did not want to keep wearing "baby" diapers. We only had one small potty that I kept in the bathroom. They could sit and pee when I did.
I used two different approaches for two very different kids. With my first, a boy, it seemed to go on forever. At about 3.5 years I decided he could probably do it, but just wasn't for some reason. So we spent a weekend indoors without pants (him, not me). I had heard, and it seems to be true, that kids don't want to pee and poop on themselves. Totally worked--it got him in the habit of using the toilet. Should have tried this earlier.
I never wanted it to reach that level with my stubborn daughter--probably would have ended up in a terrible power struggle. I just asked her to let me know when she was ready--and then I sweetened the deal by offering up a toy of her choice if she would spend a week in underwear. She thought it over for a couple of weeks, then decided to try--had a lot of accidents, but we stuck it out and that was it. She was about 2.5 years.
Pull-ups had almost no part in either of these approaches and I don't really see the point in them other than for sleep times.
I bought Spiderman pants for our boy when he was around two. He wanted to wear them instead of "baby" diapers and we were good to go. He loved peeing on trees and we lived out in the country, so that helped.
Bought fancy rhumba panties for the girls. Same deal, except they did not care for peeing outside. Also, they always wanted to wear the panties backwards so they could see the lace.
Not sure what all the drama about this is about. Our kids did not want to keep wearing "baby" diapers. We only had one small potty that I kept in the bathroom. They could sit and pee when I did.
Apparently some parents feel that unless you dictate the actions of your child regarding pretty much everything from the time they are born, you are relinquishing all parental authority and your child is destined to be a 30 year old basement dweller. Others seem to believe there is some kind of award for parents of children who are completely trained by 18 mo. I'd bet good money they also brag about what early readers and other signs of "giftedness" their child exhibits. It's using the toilet, not rocket science, most healthy kids get it before kindergarten regardless, and it all works out.
Take a group of 8-year-olds and tell me which ones were potty prodigies and which still wore pull ups at age 4. Then do the same with a bunch of 18-year-olds.
Can't do it? Then it's not worth stressing out over.
Take a group of 8-year-olds and tell me which ones were potty prodigies and which still wore pull ups at age 4. Then do the same with a bunch of 18-year-olds.
Can't do it? Then it's not worth stressing out over.
You have a point, but on the other hand consider a parent who needs their 3.5- or 4-year-old to be potty trained by a certain date so they can start preschool, and the child is refusing. If I were in that situation, I'd be a little stressed out, and the thought that they would definitely be potty trained by age 18 would not be too helpful.
Viewed after the fact, pretty much ALL of parenting is small stuff. Doesn't mean it is not important to both parent and child at the time.
This thread has helped me feel so much better! I have a daughter who just turned three last week and has no interest in using the potty (except for her stuffed animals to use). I've been massively stressing out about this. She was a 4lb premie and has had some mild issues (late walker, very small for her age, etc, nothing major). She can't dress/undress without help and is perfectly content to be in the messiest of diapers. I think I'm going to try the underwear tricks mentioned above. My mom told me that she trained me by letting me run around with no diaper for a day or two and it worked like a charm. (I was pretty horrified by the thought of that but hey it was a hot summer in the '70s)
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