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Have you tried asking your ss about sexual abuse? If you haven't already, it would be helpful to ask if someone is touching him in his private parts etc. I think it would be much easier to get somewhere with CPS if your ss said something about abuse. Without that, you don't have a "smoking gun" so to speak. If you look at sites about child abuse, they talk about meeting certain criteria to warrant an investigation, and it looks like you are missing the fifth criteria:
Have you tried asking your ss about sexual abuse? If you haven't already, it would be helpful to ask if someone is touching him in his private parts etc. I think it would be much easier to get somewhere with CPS if your ss said something about abuse. Without that, you don't have a "smoking gun" so to speak. If you look at sites about child abuse, they talk about meeting certain criteria to warrant an investigation, and it looks like you are missing the fifth criteria:
Without something pointing to abuse, there may be an assumption that the child is mentally ill or something along those lines.
Thank you for this. Truly. I don't come right out and ask for a few reasons, mainly because of my experience with sexually abused children and also my own experience. I blocked a lot of mine out so it isn't always obvious to children.
But here are my reasons:
- In the event, we ever go to court, I don't want myself or my husband to ever be accused of prompting him.
- I don't want to ask him, thus being something he can lie about in the future (though, time and time again, it is shown children rarely lie)
We have questioned the mental illness, which is why it has been reported to family services that his mother refuses to provide mental health care. No one seems to care unfortunately.
Maybe you should call the police and tell them you are scared he will hurt someone at school.
This is something I have not thought of before. There is a tip line for the district. Maybe I should call that. They alert the authorities and it is anonymous.
Have you talked to a psychiatrist abiut this at all? I understand your husband can't take SS to therapy you and him could talk with one about his behavior and your concerns.
If he ever starts making violent threats, physical aggression etc... I'd either call the cops if he's threatening to hurt others or take him to the ER for a psych eval if he's threatening to hurt himself.
I'm not sure what state you're in but if 211 is available I'd call them they're a great resource for this type of situation.
You may not be aware of this, but in some/many schools repeatedly sending a student or students to the office can get a teacher in serious trouble if not actually fired. That could be the reason that he is not being sent to see the principal or counselor.
In some schools teachers can also get into trouble if they make too many referrals for special education programs. That may explain why he has not been referred for classes for behavior problems/emotional disabilities/behavioral disabilities.
^^This. Does the principal know that you have made CPS calls? Does the principal know about the conduct card?
Thank you for this. Truly. I don't come right out and ask for a few reasons, mainly because of my experience with sexually abused children and also my own experience. I blocked a lot of mine out so it isn't always obvious to children.
But here are my reasons:
- In the event, we ever go to court, I don't want myself or my husband to ever be accused of prompting him.
- I don't want to ask him, thus being something he can lie about in the future (though, time and time again, it is shown children rarely lie)
We have questioned the mental illness, which is why it has been reported to family services that his mother refuses to provide mental health care. No one seems to care unfortunately.
OP I'm not a parent so this may sound callous, but you need to back off. You will feel better mentally and emotionally when you realize that this is Not Your Son. So you can relax and let your husband take care of this to the best of his ability. It sounds stressful and I'm not sure why this is your stress.
Personally, I wouldn't show up to any school meeting without an attorney at my side and I would do whatever it took to hire one.
Why? How is that going to help?
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