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Old 02-16-2016, 10:36 AM
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,437 posts, read 41,696,241 times
Reputation: 47025


When I married my husband he had 3 kids from his first marriage. They were @ 10,11 and 12. They lived full time with their mother several states away but we had them for weeks at a time during holidays and summer breaks. . I hiked up our child support payments after we got married because I had many single parent friends and I knew what my husband was paying was just the bare minimum. Frankly it was all he could afford and what the court declared. But with a second income we could afford a bit more. Of course we never told the kids this.

My husband and I had a bio son together and adopted 3 girls so , in theory, I am a Mom to 7.

Their mother and I had/have a warm and friendly relationship. We sometimes talked on the phone, shared recipes, went shopping together when we were in their state and sat together when the kids married. I always got a corsage and was treated very special. Today we are Facebook friends

They always called me by my first name and I never thought a thing of it. Now these kids are in their 50s and all of a sudden they have started calling me MOM. Well the girls are but the boy still calls me by my first name. I never asked the girls to and their Mom is still living. I have no idea how she feels about it but I will add these same girls refer to their step father as their Dad too so I guess they feel they have 2 Moms and 2 Dads. I think it is very nice. And I don't think it ever could have happened much earlier than now. We are all so much older and wiser and realize what is really important.

I'm writing this in case some others are having trouble with being a step parent. We had some very rough patches along the way with teen problems, jealousy over our new babies, career flops, financial disasters, failed marriages, etc but here we are on this side making it work. I give a lot of credit to their mother who always sent them to us with good manners, clean clothes and deep love for their father and respect for me. It has worked for us. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Old 02-16-2016, 01:34 PM
5,847 posts, read 3,319,706 times
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It's really nice that this has worked out so nicely for you. I imagine the challenges along the way make it just that much sweeter at this point!
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Old 02-16-2016, 02:39 PM
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,437 posts, read 41,696,241 times
Reputation: 47025
yes that is very true!
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