"Having it all sucks" (teenagers, older, graduate, dinner)
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As ikb0714 mentions, let's look at the data on "parent(s)", that esteemed title given to anyone who does a biological act and the topic that this title "holds more weight", people who have "done that", "assumptions", and the common belief here the word parent = worthy advice:
So using your "logic" that those with the title of "parent" automatically have the high hand on what's best for a child rings very hollow in the reality of the data.
"Although the incidence of child abuse and neglect has been decreasing in recent years, at least 686,000 children, or almost 1 in every 100 children in the United States, were abused in 2012.
The majority (75 percent) of the children were victims of neglect (531,241 children), meaning a parent or guardian failed to provide for the child's basic needs.
Forms of neglect include medical neglect (15,705 children), educational neglect, physical neglect, and emotional neglect.
An average of nearly five children die every day as a result of child abuse or neglect (1,593 in 2012)."
I believe your infatuation with the title parent, who requires nothing more than a biological act to earn, isn't very impressive. And according to the data, 1 in every 100 children who are abused in some way, proves this point. That's a bunch of kids with some horrible parents that you all seem to believe can offer the best advice, just based on the title parent. And these are abuse cases.....there are not so good parents sprinkled in all about who have the title "parent" that I'd be willing to bet are the parents of the year.
Not impressed people as you are with your "parent" title, who offer the best advice above all non-parents, nor should I be.
Ringo1, the story you told about your friend who kept kids in a house while getting beat by her husband and stuck around for money, thinking it had no impact on those kids, as a parent, blind to the data that says something far different, is exhibit A spoken right on this board yet you seem to think nothing of that either. IMO, based on this fact, right back at you as I can equally say the same thing you said to me...."then your opinion isn't worth all that much, IMO".
1 in 100 children were abused... that's 1%. So maybe that 1% of parents are selfish. More likely they're mentally ill or drug abusers, but we'll just call them selfish for the sake of your argument. That leaves 99% of families where the parents mean well and have their kids best interest in mind.
1 in 100 children were abused... that's 1%. So maybe that 1% of parents are selfish. More likely they're mentally ill or drug abusers, but we'll just call them selfish for the sake of your argument. That leaves 99% of families where the parents mean well and have their kids best interest in mind.
Alcoholics, drug addicts, or selfish "parents", dysfunctional parents, on and on and on. They aren't good parents plain and simple. My point.....the title "parent" does not = good advice as you and many others are suggesting. Far from it in many cases.
As I indicated, those are just the REPORTED cases of child abuse. Many more go left unreported according to the data. Many woman get abused by their husbands and never report their husbands and the kids are stuck in the middle of it.
Speaking of parents who are alcoholics those addicted:
My point again, with all the bad parents out there, abusive, dysfunctional, alcoholics, family violence, addicted to drugs, we can't trust that parents can dispense good quality parental advice as you and others are stating in terms of a title of parent = good advice. There are a lot of bad apples out there who carry the title as "parent". And it's far more than a few as often these things are under/far under reported. The reported numbers alone are ugly.
Alcoholics, drug addicts, or selfish "parents", dysfunctional parents, on and on and on. They aren't good parents plain and simple. My point.....the title "parent" does not = good advice as you and many others are suggesting. Far from it in many cases.
As I indicated, those are just the REPORTED cases of child abuse. Many more go left unreported according to the data. Many woman get abused by their husbands and never report their husbands and the kids are stuck in the middle of it.
Speaking of parents who are alcoholics those addicted:
My point again, with all the bad parents out there, abusive, dysfunctional, alcoholics, family violence, addicted to drugs, we can't trust that parents can dispense good quality parental advice as you and others are stating in terms of a title of parent = good advice. There are a lot of bad apples out there who carry the title as "parent". And it's far more than a few as often these things are under/far under reported. The reported numbers alone are ugly.
Who cares? Some people suck. That doesn't mean you know anything about parenting.
Who cares? Some people suck. That doesn't mean you know anything about parenting.
To your point....yes, I may know as much or as little about parenting as you or anyone else on this thread. There is no license, test, degree, IQ limit, mental soundness, addiction check, maturity check, etc. to be a parent, just a biological act will get a human the parent title. We are on equal footing. See, we have something in common kibbie.
To the "who cares?" main point.....title of parent does not necessarily = sound/valid advice. And again, as you stated correctly, from me OR you.
To your point....yes, I may know as much or as little about parenting as you or anyone else on this thread. There is no license, test, degree, IQ limit, mental soundness, addiction check, maturity check, etc. to be a parent, just a biological act will get a human the parent title. We are on equal footing. See, we have something in common kibbie.
To the "who cares?" main point.....title of parent does not necessarily = sound/valid advice. And again, as you stated correctly, from me OR you.
Never said it did. Has nothing to do with you or your advice.
The woman in the original article worked from home the day after giving birth = extreme
you seem to be obsessed with abusive parents = extreme, selfish parents = extreme, parents who both travel or work long hours = extreme, parents who spend lavishly on material items = extreme.
None of your examples or points speak to average, family where one parent works full time and one parent works maybe part time, where money is spent on needs and special treats, and all of this is decided with the kids in mind. This whole conversation is a waste of time because your half is based on extremes and uninformed opinions instead of real life.
Alcoholics, drug addicts, or selfish "parents", dysfunctional parents, on and on and on. They aren't good parents plain and simple. My point.....the title "parent" does not = good advice as you and many others are suggesting. Far from it in many cases.
As I indicated, those are just the REPORTED cases of child abuse. Many more go left unreported according to the data. Many woman get abused by their husbands and never report their husbands and the kids are stuck in the middle of it.
Speaking of parents who are alcoholics those addicted:
My point again, with all the bad parents out there, abusive, dysfunctional, alcoholics, family violence, addicted to drugs, we can't trust that parents can dispense good quality parental advice as you and others are stating in terms of a title of parent = good advice. There are a lot of bad apples out there who carry the title as "parent". And it's far more than a few as often these things are under/far under reported. The reported numbers alone are ugly.
But you're talking - at this moment - to parents who find the time to post about parenting, or bother to get advice, and while I've seen some pretty awful scenarios here - usually from one time posters who've gotten into a right pickle - you aren't by definition talking, in this forum, to parents who are so selfish or neglectful that you should outright dismiss their POV.
Never said it did. Has nothing to do with you or your advice.
The woman in the original article worked from home the day after giving birth = extreme
you seem to be obsessed with abusive parents = extreme, selfish parents = extreme, parents who both travel or work long hours = extreme, parents who spend lavishly on material items = extreme.
None of your examples or points speak to average, family where one parent works full time and one parent works maybe part time, where money is spent on needs and special treats, and all of this is decided with the kids in mind. This whole conversation is a waste of time because your half is based on extremes and uninformed opinions instead of real life.
Sure sounds like you implied this in one of your previous posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Sounds like you don't have any, but like to dish out parenting advice.
Plus my last post about the many bad parents out there was lumped with other posters who implied being a "parent" somehow makes them superior in very clear terms which I bolded below from the original post that started this topic a page back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
And that is why research matters. But the research shows that there are real advantages to having both parents work.
Look, if you are going to play the anecdote game, rather than look at the actual research that is fine. But anecdotes about parenting from people who are actually parents, hold more weight than people who are not. Sure, everyone is welcome to their opinion, but not all opinions are as valuable to a discussion. One's like yours that are not based on fact, reason or even firsthand experience are particularly not valuable to a discussion of parents "having it all".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1
You are certainly entitled to your views ~ but in your scenario, one of us IS a politician; one of us IS an engineer and one of us is a musician. And the other is simply offering an opinion. As the musician, politician, and engineer (i.e. Parent), I will decide how valid that offering is.
And if you have never been there 'done that" then your opinion isn't worth all that much, IMO.
Impressive parents no doubt to think so highly of themselves and look down on others like myself who aren't in their strata. If only I could be so worthy.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
But you're talking - at this moment - to parents who find the time to post about parenting, or bother to get advice, and while I've seen some pretty awful scenarios here - usually from one time posters who've gotten into a right pickle - you aren't by definition talking, in this forum, to parents who are so selfish or neglectful that you should outright dismiss their POV.
See my point above for the context/the point I was making in regards to the title of "parent" assumption = valid/good advice that many are making. That's simply far from true and I gave many examples of all the dysfunctional parents out there simply for the reason to make my point that some don't seem to be comprehending. As for this forum? I'm sure there are good parents here, sure, I never implied otherwise that all parents here are good anymore than I implied they are all bad. But it's an anonymous dumping ground and I'm sure like any group of people, there's good/bad parents in the mix.
The kind of advice that parents give, good or bad, is completely irrelevant to the fact that YOU are not a parent and therefore simply can not understand what it's like to be one.
The kind of advice that parents give, good or bad, is completely irrelevant to the fact that YOU are not a parent and therefore simply can not understand what it's like to be one.
You are assuming I'm not a parent. Bad assumption. And it sounds of arrogance to assume a superior position again, putting others down, simply based on a title given my examples that exist in the wonderful world of parenthood.
Do you teach your kids to put the views of others down and play the game of "you are not this", based on clairvoyance techniques perhaps?
Amazing.
kibbiekat, it's getting old. I like a good debate, express views, see another side perhaps, but I think you are getting way beyond the topic and into other non-sequitur matters into a kind mode that is not worth my time. And it is indeed that time....we agree to disagree.
A poster Mattie told the story the other day on this thread about her friend who kept kids in a house while getting beat by her husband and stuck around for money, thinking it had no impact on those kids, as a parent, blind to the data that says something far different, is exhibit A spoken right on this board about how some parents act. I didn't read any comments besides Mattie on that story/touch it with a 10 ft poll on how harmful that is too the kids based on the data I posted so I'm guessing some here agree with the action of this mother and think this is a good parental response and trust her judgement as indisputable because she has the title "mother/parent"?
And you completely missed the point. My friend didn't stick around because she was afraid to lose her standard of living. She stuck around because it took months to come up with the necessary retainer money to pay for a lawyer to represent her at her divorce. She wasn't willing to lose her kids to the creep. She gave up her career to stay home with the children while he worked and traveled. When she needed the money to get out, she didn't have it.
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