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Old 02-18-2016, 07:14 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,437 posts, read 15,363,064 times
Reputation: 18959

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I can only speak for myself, but sorry, I don't want (or expect) a man to take care of us. Our marriage is a partnership in every conceivable way. We both earn. We both handle affairs in the house. Whoever has the more flexible schedule takes care of the things that come up with parenting. This whole "dual income earners are killing America" is a bunch of horse****. I make no apologies for putting on my pants and going to work. I work because I want to. I work because I have an identity besides just being a mother. I work because having two salaries affords us a bit more security than one. I work because even though I've been married almost 13 years to the love of my life, I don't know what the future holds and I don't want my life (and my kids' lives) jeopardized because I was putting all of my eggs into one basket. If anything were to happen to my husband, I can sleep at night knowing that I can support us. I'll sell the house, take the proceeds and buy a less expensive house, and support my family. I make enough where we'd be fine. Maybe not as many extravagances, but we'd be fine. My kids are thriving and are very well adjusted. If anything, I want my girls to see that mommy can work if she wants to. She can do whatever her little heart desires. If she wants to get married and become a homemaker, that's great. If she wants to work, THAT'S GREAT TOO.

Women have many choices today and I am grateful for them. No, can't have it all, but I do the best that I can.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:19 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,620,368 times
Reputation: 26860
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Good lord. Baiting for a fight. I shared my opinion and said I was more then happy you have your own.

Mean girls club. We all know.
Actually, we all know that you are happy to dish out condescension and a superior attitude but when you're called on it you fall back on your "mean girls club" comments.

Not a single person on here has been mean to you.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,437 posts, read 15,363,064 times
Reputation: 18959
FYI, I do not work from home, I work 8 hr per day and sometimes work more. I can say from my kids' experiences, they're fine. They are happy and content with the time that we spend as a family whether it's three hours, four hours, you get the picture. We may be tired, but they understand that the time from when we come home until when they go to bed is family time. Kids are adaptable and easily get used to routines. Both of my daughters understand that mommy AND daddy work. I don't feel ashamed (and neither does my husband) that we are a dual earner household.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,437 posts, read 15,363,064 times
Reputation: 18959
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCresident2014 View Post
I didn't see the Elizabeth Warren piece but I've been making this argument for years- dual income families have ruined the economy. Everything costs twice as much as a result of most families being dual income families. It sucks.

The only way around it for me, a man, to give my wife the option to raise our kids is to focus on earning at least twice as much as the average individual. I just hit that mark a couple years ago, and my spending power is now roughly equal to a dual income family. It's extremely rewarding to support my wife and kids, but it is a lot harder now that everything costs twice as much.

It's just simple economics, but sometimes it really bites!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
I love how in this thread almost everyone is telling the father to move out of state so he can better financially support his daughter: http://www.city-data.com/forum/paren...out-state.html

But for some people, if a woman dares to leave home to work from 8 to 5 to support her child she's being neglectful.
Yes yes yes. The sexism reeks. How dare a woman do something as basic as work outside of the home and earn money? Oh yes, she's a narcissistic, materialistic ***** who should have never procreated in the first place! We sure have made strides in 2015 - a boy is expected to still be Tarzan and earn a gazillian dollars to support the woman aka Jane. You're not a man if you can't do that / sarcasm.

I think the whole SAHM mom thing is just a status simple for some guys to let people know that they have arrived.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:32 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,822,865 times
Reputation: 24134
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I won't quote people, because I am so sick of the mean girls club attacking me but. I will say if I was getting home at 6 and my kids were being put to bed at 8 (or earlier), and in that time I had to feed, bathe, do homework, tend to my own needs and say hi to my husband...no they would not be getting the same amount of attention from me. And yes, I think more attention is better.

It isn't just quality time, its also quantity time.

But you do you, I will do me. As I have said all along.
So I am not reading all the rants and raves. Lets just recap what I ACTUALLY said in this thread.

I said I believe more time with the primary caregiver, all things equal, is better for developing children.

I said I didn't think it ruins (or necessarily scars) children not to have that, but all things considered, I believe its better for the child.

I said I thought more time with the primary caregiver was not less important then vacations or team sports.

I said I think few people have the luxury to choose to work for extra money, just like few people get to choose to stay home and have the luxuries anyways.

I said I believe most moms work because they have to.

I said I have no problem with working parents, if its a choice or if its a need. No problem what so ever.

I said I don't care what you personally choose.

I said not all moms want to stay home or enjoy it, and hey, thats cool.



So could people please stop freaking out? A HFB post isn't worth 1,000 words. Its worth just the words I actually wrote.


You could look at it like breast feeding. Breast feeding is best for baby, that is my opinion. Its shared by many people, but not all. But just because I believe it is best doesn't mean the formula fed baby is doomed, by any means. It also doesn't speak badly about the mom if she chooses not to, or is unable to. (P.S. I did not breast feed and am not heart broken by people believing breast feeding is better, all things equal)

People are adding the judgement to my post. It is not there. I am sharing an opinion with the qualifier that it is my opinion and that I think what other people do is fine for them and I take no issue with it.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:34 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
15,479 posts, read 15,524,344 times
Reputation: 28457
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Can we all keep in mind the author of the quoted article works from home?
The author works from home and STILL has a BAG of poopy diapers in her bedroom??? OH MY WORD! There's more wrong with her than I thought. That is just soooooo DISGUSTING!
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,652 posts, read 60,315,731 times
Reputation: 101015
Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise View Post
Yes yes yes. The sexism reeks. How dare a woman do something as basic as work outside of the home and earn money? Oh yes, she's a narcissistic, materialistic ***** who should have never procreated in the first place! We sure have made strides in 2015 - a boy is expected to still be Tarzan and earn a gazillian dollars to support the woman aka Jane. You're not a man if you can't do that / sarcasm.

I think the whole SAHM mom thing is just a status simple for some guys to let people know that they have arrived.
Wait a minute - I was all in with what you were saying till this post. This post degrades families who have decided that the best option for their family is for the mother to stay home with the kids. This approach is no less offensive than those posts denouncing women who work outside the home.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:39 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,020,063 times
Reputation: 32572
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
The author works from home and STILL has a BAG of poopy diapers in her bedroom??? OH MY WORD! There's more wrong with her than I thought. That is just soooooo DISGUSTING!
I've been trying to figure out why she didn't change out of her pee pants. Takes less than a minute to change from one pair of pants to another.

The bag of poopy diapers she could have tossed into the outside garbage before she sat down to write her essay. Hopefully her job doesn't involve strategic planning.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:42 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,822,865 times
Reputation: 24134
Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise View Post
I can only speak for myself, but sorry, I don't want (or expect) a man to take care of us. Our marriage is a partnership in every conceivable way. We both earn. We both handle affairs in the house. Whoever has the more flexible schedule takes care of the things that come up with parenting. This whole "dual income earners are killing America" is a bunch of horse****. I make no apologies for putting on my pants and going to work. I work because I want to. I work because I have an identity besides just being a mother. I work because having two salaries affords us a bit more security than one. I work because even though I've been married almost 13 years to the love of my life, I don't know what the future holds and I don't want my life (and my kids' lives) jeopardized because I was putting all of my eggs into one basket. If anything were to happen to my husband, I can sleep at night knowing that I can support us. I'll sell the house, take the proceeds and buy a less expensive house, and support my family. I make enough where we'd be fine. Maybe not as many extravagances, but we'd be fine. My kids are thriving and are very well adjusted. If anything, I want my girls to see that mommy can work if she wants to. She can do whatever her little heart desires. If she wants to get married and become a homemaker, that's great. If she wants to work, THAT'S GREAT TOO.

Women have many choices today and I am grateful for them. No, can't have it all, but I do the best that I can.
So my marriage is an equal partnership as well. I supported my husband while he developed his career. I took care of the home front while he worked long hours establishing himself. I took primary care of all of our children through the years. Holidays, birthday, travel, school, tutoring, doctors, etc. are my areas. He Loves his job and he makes a good living because of it. Because of it, he doesn't have the time or energy to do what I do. I like to do what I do...right now it works for me. We listen to each other's struggles, offer support as needed. Etc. Its equal but different. And it works for us.

I like what being a SAHM gives my kids, just as you like what being a working mom gives your kids. No drama
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:43 PM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,822,865 times
Reputation: 24134
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
The author works from home and STILL has a BAG of poopy diapers in her bedroom??? OH MY WORD! There's more wrong with her than I thought. That is just soooooo DISGUSTING!
LOL I do recall there was a poopy diaper rule that it always went right out to the dumpster, rain or shine, night or day. I did try the diaper genie but it was disgusting in 2 days and I couldn't get the smell out of the plastic. So it went in the trash too.
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