"Having it all sucks" (younger, statistics, handle, effect)
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Well I'm not sure that's the case. If you haven't experienced it first hand either way, then your opinions are theories. Interesting theories that contribute to the conversation, but theories nonetheless.
For others, who have done either or or especially both, it goes beyond opinion and theory to experience.
Thats not to say one's opinion is worthless by any means, but perhaps it would behoove one to listen more and talk less, when it comes to talking with people who actually have lived this and not just observed it.
I have experienced directly/indirectly. Therefore, by your definition, I'm on solid ground.
Using your logic outside of this matter, I can say you can't know what tastes good, sounds good, what's healthy for you to eat, etc because you never wore the hat of a real chef.....a real musician.....a real dietitian, etc.
And yes, I observe/read a great deal of posts here in addition to posting.
Yes, it's my opinion that it's best for a child to have a stay at home parent, especially in their infant years.
So having an opinion on a matter in what I feel is best for a child is now "controlling"?
You don't think that's controlling but you think I am for saying that your opinion doesn't apply to every situation? You are the one trying to apply a on-size-fits-all solution. You even went so far as to say that if only I got out more, met more people, I'd see that you are right. At least I have a dog in this fight. I have been a parent for 13 years and have stayed home, worked part time, worked full time, and quit a job where I had a lot of time invested, and had to start over again at the bottom of the ladder. I know how much my kids figured into every one of those decisions. I'm going to take a wild guess that you haven't done any of that.
I have experienced directly/indirectly. Therefore, by your definition, I'm on solid ground.
Using your logic outside of this matter, I can say you can't know what tastes good, sounds good, what's healthy for you to eat, etc because you were never wore the hat of a a real chef.....a real musician.....a registered dietitian, etc.
I knew you would comeback with that.
I work with real musicians everyday, given one of your examples, and I can assure that thinking about what it's like to be a real muscian is nothing compared to what it is actually like to be a real musician. You might know what sounds good, but you have no idea of what it takes to accomplish that result. You only know in theory.
And there is no way they know what's right for me/our family either, that's not the point, we are expressing views/opinions. And it's frankly not your business what my personal life is about anymore than I should know/want to know yours.
Again, it's MY OPINION, VIEW, on the matter, expressing it on CD.
Opinion/View definition: "a personal view, attitude, or appraisal. "
I will not "stop trying" to express my views as it's my right to express an opinion on CD. May I suggest you stop being so controlling on a forum that is about free expression on a given topic. That I believe is against the rules.
Who's arguing? I'm expressing my view as you are.
It is important to realize the limits of the, "Well, it's just my opinion! They're just my views!" train of thought that so often permeates message boards like CD.
You are well within your right to an opinion. But, just because it's your opinion/views, does not make it correct, or valid. It absolutely baffles me when people think that the words, "It's my views" or, "It's just my opinion" somehow give them carte blanche to spout poorly substantiated claims. It's as if those words have become the shield of every poorly-conceived notion that worms its way onto the Internet.
I work with real musicians everyday, given one of your examples, and I can assure that thinking about what it's like to be a real muscian is nothing compared to what it is actually like to be a real musician. You might know what sounds good, but you have no idea of what it takes to accomplish that result. You only know in theory.
Parents don't need a license, practice, or education to be labeled a "parent". It's gained as a result of a simple biological act, often an accident, so not a good analogy to compare to a musician after all. Lots of good and bad parents out there, abusive one's, caring one's, selfish one's, etc., so I'm not impressed with the title thing of "parent". Sorry.
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Originally Posted by strawflower
It is important to realize the limits of the, "Well, it's just my opinion! They're just my views!" train of thought that so often permeates message boards like CD.
You are well within your right to an opinion. But, just because it's your opinion/views, does not make it correct, or valid. It absolutely baffles me when people think that the words, "It's my views" or, "It's just my opinion" somehow give them carte blanche to spout poorly substantiated claims. It's as if those words have become the shield of every poorly-conceived notion that worms its way onto the Internet.
I respect your opinion. And you are correct, my view isn't for everyone/doesn't make it right for them. That's obvious by the choices many parents make.
Parents don't need a license, practice, or education to be labeled a "parent". It's gained as a result of a simple biological act, often an accident, so not a good analogy to compare to a musician after all. Lots of good and bad parents out there, abusive one's, caring one's, selfish one's, etc., so I'm not impressed with the title thing of "parent". Sorry.
I see. So while you opine your theories as correct and immutable, you don't think it's worth taking in the experience of parents that are giving you opposing viewpoints, because, let's see - some parents are bad.
Or, I might add, parents here that are doing exactly as you lecture (with the caveat that in doing so we realize there is not one right answer). For some reason we aren't worth listening to either.
I see. So while you opine your theories as correct and immutable, you don't think it's worth taking in the experience of parents that are giving you opposing viewpoints, because, let's see - some parents are bad.
Or, I might add, parents here that are doing exactly as you lecture (with the caveat that in doing so we realize there is not one right answer). For some reason we aren't worth listening to either.
That's not my point. This topic started because some posters seemed to imply, as you are perhaps doing, that those who aren't parents somehow have a less valid view than those with the title of parent. I believe this is false assumption as a whole as correct, there are good parents, bad parents, and in between parents. There's gray here. Therefore, having the title of parent/that experience doesn't necessarily mean that said parent is the best reference for advice. I'm not impressed by a title where many examples exists under said title of parent are less than shiny examples(ie abusive parents, druggies, selfish, alcoholics, etc). Nor should any of us trust a title so blindly. Seems common sense to me but perhaps some are more impressed by titles alone than I who feels the criteria of a title is all that's needed to dispense valid advice.
As for listening to other views/comprehending them, I have been but just disagree with some of them, as I'm sure you do in various life topics. My view is an infant/young child is best with a parent full time. Many others, perhaps yourself, think differently. I just simply disagree with some of the views as some out there disagree with mine.
Women who want to get pregnant and have a baby get what they asked for. Your life as you knew it is over. Why is this some kind of a surprise?
Well, I'm assuming its a millennial we're talking about...
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Doing all of it at the same time was never the idea. By that definition, single working moms have been "having it all" for ages and yet society does not hold the single working mom up as the goal for women everywhere. No, no, that's just what happens when you're poor and have no choice. Except actually, that's what happens to all but the very very rich when you encourage women to work and have children but don't change any other part of the world they live in.
I don't think the male-dominated society of the 60's *ever* encouraged women to both work and raise a child. That was entirely in the realm of the 60's feminist movement. Talk about history revisionism...
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At least I have a dog in this fight. I have been a parent for 13 years and have stayed home, worked part time, worked full time, and quit a job where I had a lot of time invested, and had to start over again at the bottom of the ladder. I know how much my kids figured into every one of those decisions. I'm going to take a wild guess that you haven't done any of that.
