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Old 02-24-2016, 04:35 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,340,215 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HackettC View Post

My partner and I have a 2 month old son and when I get home, I'm always eager to go pick him up and cuddle him.
You should be eager to keep your child safe. You should be eager to respect your partner's feelings. Your wife witnessed a murder.....gun accidents kill hundreds of people every year....and you don't get it. SMH.

p.s. Tell your boss you "forget" you are carrying and you don't take it off and store it safely.....then let us know if you're still employed.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 02-24-2016 at 04:45 PM..
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Old 02-24-2016, 04:39 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,744,558 times
Reputation: 31041
Of course she's upset! Take off your weapon the moment you walk in the door. Lock it up. Wash your hands. Then hold the baby.
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Old 02-24-2016, 04:51 PM
 
12,916 posts, read 19,798,895 times
Reputation: 33944
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
Depending on what state he's living in, he may have had a lot of training. To carry concealed while working security in TX, you have to have passed the regular commissioned guard's class (to carry unconcealed while working), take the MMPI and meet with a psychologist, and have additional classroom training after that. Texas being what it is, other states probably require even more training for a personal protection officer.



About the original post, my husband has carried a gun for work for the past 11 years. My kids have always hugged him while he was wearing it. When my youngest was a baby, he used to hold her while wearing it. When he had to wear a bulletproof vest for a few years, the kids thought it was great fun to thump on Daddy when he couldn't feel it. The gun in the holster is quite safe...he's always used the triple retention holsters. Usually when he comes home, the duty belt gets put on the closet floor. The gun he carries for work has no safety...two of his employers have specifically required that, because you can't take the safety off and operate the triple retention holster fast enough to respond to a threat. He's got another gun concealed in the house for home defense because you can't get the gun out of those holsters without putting on the belt.

My kids both know gun safety and how to use a gun. We've never made it a mysterious object. It's one of the tools Daddy needs for work and Daddy's work puts a roof over all of our heads. So we treat it like a dangerous tool...just like the kids wouldn't use an electric knife or a drill without a fair amount of training first and a lot of supervision during use, they learned a lot about guns, including the internal workings (hubby is the armorer for his employer), they practiced with airsoft guns, then we took them to the range.

My suggestion for the OP would be to teach his partner to use the gun. Let her learn that it's not going to suddenly, randomly go off. See if she is able to overcome her fear and deal with having a gun in the house, because that is the bigger issue. If that's his line of work and she's terrified of guns (even for good reason, which she definitely has), then it's always going to be a problem between them.
Whatever training he has or hasn't had, it isn't enough to convince his partner that gun and baby should be in the same place. Nor me. Now, since I think this might turn into a gun debate, I'll bow out, because I have very strong feelings on the matter, and they aren't always pertaining to parenting.
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Old 02-24-2016, 04:53 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,744,558 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
I agree.

When a police officer/state trooper/sheriff picks up a child during a situation (to protect the child) they don't stop and remove their firearm first.
You really don't see the difference?

Quote:
Originally Posted by chadgates View Post
Wow, a lot of ignorance being displayed.

If you are carrying all day, everyday, it just becomes normal and you don't think about it. That's how someone could "forget" they were carrying.

And seriously? comparing being armed with germs and filth from some other job? that's rich.
I don't think anyone compared them. When people get home, they might take off their shoes, set down their bags, wash their hands, then sit down and spend some time with their kids. If they have a dirty job, they might change their clothes first, or even shower first. BTW, children of parents in law enforcement are at higher risk of getting lead poisoning because there is lead in the bullets, so washing hands first is a must, and changing clothes first is also a good idea. So, ya, real rich. I'm glad I could teach you something new today.
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Old 02-24-2016, 04:55 PM
 
Location: San Diego
32,802 posts, read 30,052,880 times
Reputation: 17694
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
Fear of firearms is an emotional reaction that was instilled in her from a terrible event as a teen. You cannot apply logic to those feelings, you can only attempt to rationalize them, try to deal with them, or simply live with them.
// End thread. Well stated.
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Old 02-24-2016, 05:12 PM
eok
 
6,684 posts, read 2,948,971 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterLover2 View Post
That's bogus to think you can't have a gun on you and safely hold a child
The problem is that he forgets to take the gun off, and will therefore sometimes forget to put the safety on.

The best solution is to always take it off before you arrive and walk in holding it in your hand, so you will never forget to lock it up when you arrive. It's like tying a string around your finger to remind you to do something. And also make a strict rule that if you ever put the gun down anywhere in your house, even for a few seconds, without locking it up, you have to give your wife a $100 penalty for each violation.
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Old 02-24-2016, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Clown School
9,999 posts, read 4,225,663 times
Reputation: 11552
Quote:
Originally Posted by HackettC View Post
I work as protection officer for a high ranking official's security detail. I obviously carry a gun whole the time.

My partner and I have a 2 month old son and when I get home, I'm always eager to go pick him up and cuddle him.

She always gets upset when I forget to take my gun off my holster before holding the baby. Her father killed her mother with a shotgun in front of her when she was a teen and she can't handle the sight of weapons.

Why doesn't she understand carrying one is simply part of my job?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HackettC View Post
And I do most of the time. But sometimes I just want to see him so much that I won't take the time.
You 'forget'. You simply can't control yourself to take 2 seconds to put away the loaded gun on your body. You're too overcome by emotion.

This is sounding like a tragedy waiting to happen...
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Old 02-24-2016, 06:00 PM
 
1,039 posts, read 607,224 times
Reputation: 1730
Heres how it goes:


Enter the door


go straight to the gun locker; lock up the gun. Remove uniform if applicable.


Wash hands.


THEN handle newborn.


Alternative = One Unhappy Wife.


Its a No Brainer. You wouldn't handle the baby if youd just come from an abattoir, either.
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Old 02-24-2016, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Idaho
2,478 posts, read 2,017,413 times
Reputation: 5102
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
You frequently "forget" about your gun and wonder why she's upset? Wait until you "forget" about leaving it on a table or "forget" to put the safety on.
What's a safety? You do realize that most guns; not all, do not even have safeties or the safety is built into the trigger or the grip. And I see others are hung up on this "safety" thing. People who are going to talk about guns, should learn about guns. I've carried guns, pretty much my entire life, and have NEVER had a handgun with a safety.

Back on subject. If you carry a gun and you have kids in the house either keep the gun on yourself at all times or lock it up. Kids will adapt to the fact that Daddy, or even Mommy, carry a gun.
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Old 02-24-2016, 07:00 PM
 
13,010 posts, read 12,451,656 times
Reputation: 37273
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
Depending on what state he's living in, he may have had a lot of training. To carry concealed while working security in TX, you have to have passed the regular commissioned guard's class (to carry unconcealed while working), take the MMPI and meet with a psychologist, and have additional classroom training after that. Texas being what it is, other states probably require even more training for a personal protection officer.



About the original post, my husband has carried a gun for work for the past 11 years. My kids have always hugged him while he was wearing it. When my youngest was a baby, he used to hold her while wearing it. When he had to wear a bulletproof vest for a few years, the kids thought it was great fun to thump on Daddy when he couldn't feel it. The gun in the holster is quite safe...he's always used the triple retention holsters. Usually when he comes home, the duty belt gets put on the closet floor. The gun he carries for work has no safety...two of his employers have specifically required that, because you can't take the safety off and operate the triple retention holster fast enough to respond to a threat. He's got another gun concealed in the house for home defense because you can't get the gun out of those holsters without putting on the belt.

My kids both know gun safety and how to use a gun. We've never made it a mysterious object. It's one of the tools Daddy needs for work and Daddy's work puts a roof over all of our heads. So we treat it like a dangerous tool...just like the kids wouldn't use an electric knife or a drill without a fair amount of training first and a lot of supervision during use, they learned a lot about guns, including the internal workings (hubby is the armorer for his employer), they practiced with airsoft guns, then we took them to the range.

My suggestion for the OP would be to teach his partner to use the gun. Let her learn that it's not going to suddenly, randomly go off. See if she is able to overcome her fear and deal with having a gun in the house, because that is the bigger issue. If that's his line of work and she's terrified of guns (even for good reason, which she definitely has), then it's always going to be a problem between them.
No. Just no. I'm sorry, but this woman saw her mother murdered in front of her. She should not be expected to handle a firearm just to accommodate her partner so that he doesn't have to remember to take his gun off when he gets inside the house. For her, the experience could be beyond traumatizing and expecting her to face a very logical fear so that he doesn't have to just show her some basic courtesy is ridiculous.

I take my shoes off when I got to a friend's house if that's what they do. It's not something I would think to do in my own house, but if I see everyone in socks and shoes by the door when I go in a house, I comply with expectations. Similarly, if I was partnered with someone who preferred that I remove my shoes in the house I'd do it because it's not that big of a sacrifice to make for someone I love.

This is not about overcoming fears - it's about kindness, mindfulness and empathy.
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