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Old 03-01-2016, 06:44 PM
Location: Tijuana Exurbs
3,864 posts, read 10,103,609 times
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Pyewackette said not needing to think about the oldest moving to a separate room until she's at least twelve. I disagree because many girls start puberty much earlier than that. I've seen 10 (and 9) year old girls who have started to develop. You are less than 24 months away from that day.

Puberty is coming. And much earlier than you think.

But overall, I would suggest asking the girls what they think, but make it clear that it is still the decision of the parents.
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Old 03-02-2016, 05:01 AM
15,836 posts, read 18,481,958 times
Reputation: 25622
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
I think you should listen to your girlfriend. Since your older daughter is the oldest, she needs her own room.
Your child will adjust, I doubt she'll be woken up, the other lil girl can learn to occupy herself quietly.

I'm more concerned about your preferential treatment of your daughters over your girlfriends daughter. Long term that is very detrimental to the child...and yours and your girlfriends relationship...not to mention how modeling this is detrimental to all 3 girls. You might want to decide you need to be proactive in loving this lil one..a year and a half is a long time to be treated "less than" Step up
Sorry, I could have put this in a nicer way, you probably don't intend to come across as though you feel preferential to your bio girls, but imo you are doing so.

Give some thought to how you can integrate all 3 in your lives. And are you intending this living together to become "marriage" and truly a blended family....if so, blend a bit more. Less "my" and more "our" is essential imo...for the sake of those 3 lil girls.
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Old 03-02-2016, 09:05 AM
Location: Central, NJ
2,313 posts, read 4,822,097 times
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I don't think the oldest "needs" her own room. There are 3 girls in this family, all will hit puberty at some point and not all of them are going to have their own room. Being born first shouldn't automatically give you dibs for life on a separate bedroom. And while it's nice of the girlfriend to think of the older girl I think that is likely just an added benefit - the primary one being that she never has to get her younger daughter to sleep alone. Ask the girls. I would lean toward keeping the siblings together because it's great that the children all get alone time with their parent. I think it's important to blend the families as much as possible but it's a hard situation for kids. They didn't pick this new person to love and I don't think it's realistic to expect them all to treat a stepparent exactly the same as their own parent.
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