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Old 12-07-2012, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,952 posts, read 6,385,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
First, thank you notes should be still in fashion.

The difficulties with your sister may have started with thank you notes but they are probably more due to your religious differences.

It is a shame that you lost contact with each other. Perhaps, you should try again.
Thats so arbitrary....
The method in which the thank you is given shouldn't be limited to ultra snail mail.

One year my grandmother actually gotta watch us open gifts on Skype and then we got to talk to her.
She lives over 1000 miles away, getting to see her grand babies means so much more to her.

Skype > letters.

You get to see and hear the people and it's free all you have to do is buy a cheap mic and webcam and most laptops these days have them built in.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Colorado
4,308 posts, read 11,474,285 times
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I remember being made to write endless Thank You cards to relatives and friends of my parents when I was a child. I guess in the days before email (and we lived 1000s of miles away) it was a nice thing to do. I think in the 21st century it's okay to send a Thank you email (there are dozens of online e-card sites you can use) or just pick up the phone. It is a shame when people don't do the "right" thing but cutting someone off just cause their family doesn't know how to behave seems a tad mean-spirited.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,952 posts, read 6,385,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chilaili View Post
I remember being made to write endless Thank You cards to relatives and friends of my parents when I was a child. I guess in the days before email (and we lived 1000s of miles away) it was a nice thing to do. I think in the 21st century it's okay to send a Thank you email (there are dozens of online e-card sites you can use) or just pick up the phone. It is a shame when people don't do the "right" thing but cutting someone off just cause their family doesn't know how to behave seems a tad mean-spirited.
Well it is mean.

I have a laptop with webcam, it's free to skype people, but what isn't free is cards, envelopes, stamps, they as to the post office...and when every dollar counts and you don't drive unless it's to go to work its the most financially sound option.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:04 PM
 
12,930 posts, read 19,812,959 times
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The original post is several years old, but the issue was reopened in post #37 as an FYI to those responding to the first one.

My kids ALWAYS wrote thank you notes. Cash wasn't spent until the note was written. I was a stickler when they were young, and it became second nature to them early. It made a huge difference in the eyes of the grandparents, who loved to get mail from them. Now, I admit, they are more likely to pick up the phone or email after birthdays and holidays. They are away at college, and if people waited for them to gather stamps, envelopes, etc, they might be waiting a long time. The important thing is that all gifts are acknowledged.

But, there will always be a place for a hand-written thank you. And when it is due, don't expect people not to notice it wasn't sent. My eldest got married 2 years ago. After 3 months, I started asking when the thank-yous were going out. They were "in progress". Except, they weren't. All those friends and relatives who paid for hotels, flights and gifts never heard a word, and believe me, they noticed. I was mortified. I hold my son as culpable as my DIL, despite his excuses that he was working full time and completing his masters while she was home. She did not send thank yous for the shower gifts either.

So, when they announced a pregnancy, I tried one last time. I told DS that I would love to have a baby shower, but wouldn't feel comfortable doing so when the prospective guests were the same ones who hadn't been thanked for attending their wedding. Now I'm the evil MIL being denied contact with her grandson. So be it. I got tired of making excuses for those who were raised to have manners, and write thank you notes.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:38 PM
 
6,455 posts, read 9,524,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
But, there will always be a place for a hand-written thank you. And when it is due, don't expect people not to notice it wasn't sent. My eldest got married 2 years ago. After 3 months, I started asking when the thank-yous were going out. They were "in progress". Except, they weren't. All those friends and relatives who paid for hotels, flights and gifts never heard a word, and believe me, they noticed. I was mortified. I hold my son as culpable as my DIL, despite his excuses that he was working full time and completing his masters while she was home. She did not send thank yous for the shower gifts either.

So, when they announced a pregnancy, I tried one last time. I told DS that I would love to have a baby shower, but wouldn't feel comfortable doing so when the prospective guests were the same ones who hadn't been thanked for attending their wedding. Now I'm the evil MIL being denied contact with her grandson. So be it. I got tired of making excuses for those who were raised to have manners, and write thank you notes.
so sorry about this, Mattie. But, as a defense for you, according to etiquette, a close relative does not host a shower of any kind... looks like gift-grabbing, and it seems DIL and son has done enough of that. If you and son have another converation about a baby shower, point out that you now know it wouldn't be proper to host a shower, anyway. Surely DIL realizes how gauche that would be. Didn't her mother teach her anything about the social graces?
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:02 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,356,382 times
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Personally, I like to use snail mail with a wax seal on the envelope to express my artistic appreciation of the Renaissance.

IMHO, The important part is letting the giver know a gift is appreciated. Not how it's sent. Email, letter, text. Whatever. I think a thank you is very important. If someone took the time and spent the bucks to buy a gift the recipient should jolly well be able to pop out a thank you in a timely manner.

Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-07-2012 at 03:15 PM..
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:27 PM
 
4,541 posts, read 9,501,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
My kids ALWAYS wrote thank you notes. Cash wasn't spent until the note was written. I was a stickler when they were young, and it became second nature to them early. It made a huge difference in the eyes of the grandparents, who loved to get mail from them. Now, I admit, they are more likely to pick up the phone or email after birthdays and holidays. They are away at college, and if people waited for them to gather stamps, envelopes, etc, they might be waiting a long time. The important thing is that all gifts are acknowledged.
Same in the household. Always written thankyou's.

DS is now in college and he did email thankyou's for a couple of birthday cards he got which I'm okay with now that he's older and gone. At least he did it.

People can say that a gift is a gift and you shouldn't feel slighted if you don't get a note. But I just wasn't raised that way. At the very least you should acknowledge that the gift was received! If that's with a phone call to express appreciation, writing an email, or taking the time to write an actual note - showing appreciation the the right thing to do. It's called manners.

Parents who don't instill this in their children are doing them a disservice in my opinion.
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,228,450 times
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I like written thank you notes and the kids are being raised to send them, although I agree that the important piece is not the medium the thank you is delivered in, but that the sentiment is expressed. My niece and nephew have yet to acknowledge the birthday gifts we sent last month, in any form, and I admit it rubs me the wrong way, even though I do understand that everyone is busy, that they are grateful, etc.
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,800,037 times
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I have a probably unpopular opinion on this. I'm all about the direct contact (if possible), and encourage my kids to address people face to face, make eye contact and thank them properly, not just a mumbled "thanks". If that's not possible, then a good phone call, again, not a mumbled thanks. If neither of those options are possible then a letter or email.
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:52 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,625,249 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Personally, I like to use snail mail with a wax seal on the envelope to express my artistic appreciation of the Renaissance.

IMHO, The important part is letting the giver know a gift is appreciated. Not how it's sent. Email, letter, text. Whatever. I think a thank you is very important. If someone took the time and spent the bucks to buy a gift the recipient should jolly well be able to pop out a thank you in a timely manner.
Do you send it by carrier pigeon, or utilize the papal mail service? BTW are you stocked up on quills for this season?
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