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Old 12-08-2012, 11:12 AM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,966,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Some of that may be his age and his background. When I was growing up we were taught to do both because it's what the grandparents and older relatives expected.
That's just what my mom said, although she was the same age and from the same background. I think a lot of it is personality though. My mom was the type that would do anything for anybody and didn't expect anything in return. A hug and a spoken thank you was more than enough. I can't imagine her ever getting mad over a card or note, let alone staying mad about it for decades. Any more than I can imagine someone cutting ties with family members over it. To me, it boils down to trying to control the actions or reactions of others through gifts. In that case, I'd rather not be given anything.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:14 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,319,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Any more than I can imagine someone cutting ties with family members over it.
That part is just mind-boggling to me. You cut off ties because of a thank you? Makes you wonder what they'd do if you coughed in their face.
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Old 12-08-2012, 11:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
That part is just mind-boggling to me. You cut off ties because of a thank you? Makes you wonder what they'd do if you coughed in their face.
That, my friend, is grounds for a civil lawsuit along with criminal charges.
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Old 12-08-2012, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,024 posts, read 37,656,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
What happened to manners?
What happened to manners is passive-aggressiveness.

We all have our own definitions of "manners" (Hand-written note! Phone call! Visit! Skype!) that we try to project upon everyone else.

Then when the other people don't live up to our standards of etiquette, we, in a very unmannerly way, heap judgment on them for their bad manners.


Just give freely to others, thank others when they give to you, and move on.

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Old 12-08-2012, 03:08 PM
 
15,743 posts, read 13,167,427 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I agree that written thank you notes are the best. However, as long as you thank the person in some way for the gift it is acceptable.

The problem is sending a wedding gift, birthday or holiday gift and never hearing back at all from the person. I've read on C-D where grandparents have been forced to attach USPS "return receipt" attachments on packages just to make sure that it arrived at their grandchildren's home and wasn't lost in the mail. I've also read about wedding guests writing checks so that the cancelled check is proof that the wedding gift was actually received.

What happened to manners?
It is also considered proper manners by many to never call people out on their bad manners and instead be gracious.
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Old 12-08-2012, 04:38 PM
 
12,913 posts, read 19,782,209 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
What happened to manners is passive-aggressiveness.

We all have our own definitions of "manners" (Hand-written note! Phone call! Visit! Skype!) that we try to project upon everyone else.

Then when the other people don't live up to our standards of etiquette, we, in a very unmannerly way, heap judgment on them for their bad manners.


Just give freely to others, thank others when they give to you, and move on.

Manners still have a huge place in the adult world, fortunately. People that don't teach their children to express appreciation do them no service. There really are standards to be upheld here. Not taking the time to acknowledge a gift says the giftee is more worthy that the gifter.

Sometimes a face to face thank you is sufficient. But the thank you should be tailored to the occasion and the age of those involved. If a grandparent expects a written thank you, that's what they should get. If people fly across the country, pay for a hotel room, and gift the bride and groom on top of it, they should be sent a thank you. No excuses.
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:13 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,104 posts, read 17,634,355 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Manners still have a huge place in the adult world, fortunately. People that don't teach their children to express appreciation do them no service. There really are standards to be upheld here. Not taking the time to acknowledge a gift says the giftee is more worthy that the gifter.

Sometimes a face to face thank you is sufficient. But the thank you should be tailored to the occasion and the age of those involved. If a grandparent expects a written thank you, that's what they should get. If people fly across the country, pay for a hotel room, and gift the bride and groom on top of it, they should be sent a thank you. No excuses.

I totally agree with this ^^^^^ Mattie is spot on with this .
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,024 posts, read 37,656,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
But the thank you should be tailored to the occasion and the age of those involved. If a grandparent expects a written thank you, that's what they should get. If people fly across the country, pay for a hotel room, and gift the bride and groom on top of it, they should be sent a thank you. No excuses.
I agree wholeheartedly.

Meet people where they're "at."
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Old 12-08-2012, 06:09 PM
 
3,043 posts, read 6,297,554 times
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I still like the actual card in the mail rather then email. I'm not sure why but it just seems more personal and that it took more time to show appreciation. I'm a greeting card person though I love sending them to people even to just say hi. I send emails too I like those e-cards.
It is sad to me that people would feel like it was a chore to do this when someone did something nice for them. It is nice to give back. Also stating one is too busy is odd because people can find time to go on the internet,text,etc so if this takes a couple minutes longer set you are alarm to wake up earlier.
I will say I can't see getting mad though like that uncle or to go and for him to talk about it with someone seems wrong.
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Old 12-08-2012, 07:39 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,611,695 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
lol, Is there a law about thank you notes in that code?
There is! And not doing it carries the death penalty :X
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