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Old 03-10-2016, 10:45 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,473 posts, read 16,437,892 times
Reputation: 13179

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
Parents who raised kids with this attitude have made a big mistake. A parent's job is to create an independent, self-supporting, emotionally healthy adult. Their job is not to "be there" for their children at the expense of making their own decisions that they feel are best for them. An adult, whether a child or parent, is allowed to make his or her own personal decisions based On his or her own value system, not the value system of the children or the parents.

Your father is an independent adult, just as you should be, and should make his own decisions towards his health. His body belongs to him, not to his children.
Thank you Just a Guy: sorry I got so frustrated with you earlier. With this I 100% agree.
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Old 03-10-2016, 11:09 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,473 posts, read 16,437,892 times
Reputation: 13179
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
NO ONE wants to hear that crap about their dad. I'm sure you do the same thing based on your posts here.

She has a mother with cancer who is refusing conventional medical treatment. Of course she wants her father! She wants a relationship with him. He may be all she has soon.

No you can't handle the lack of phone calls. If you could, you never would have started this thread. You wouldn't have complained numerous times that she doesn't call or text.

You're loneliness and/or lack of friends because of your move is not your daughter's fault or problem. You sound like she's your whole world. That's not healthy for anyone. You need to have your own life. She's making a life for herself. You need to find friends....people your own age with similar interests.


I can't say I blame her attitude towards your treatment. You complain about the father who abandoned her, but have you stopped to think about if you die from this that you will be abandoning her for the rest of her life? There is no coming back from the dead. She probably has abandonment issues due to her fabulous childhood. No one would find that shocking.
When I started this thread I was upset and feeling disrespected by my daughter and was really blowing off steam here rather that on my daughter and wanted to know if this is normal. I posted on here and got answers all over the board, some from some very lovely people. When I posted on here I knew that my holistic health care was going to be controversial, but frankly, I was not prepared for the level of vitriol that you and some others have spouted off on here. I could visualize the spittle flying off your lips as you typed and I rather imagine that you were writing this to your mother. Dear, I am not your mother. I pray to God that no one will speak to me in this ugly way again.

I thank all of your for your replies, the pleasant and the unpleasant, but I'm going to go away from this thread now. I truly don't think it is healthy for me to read over and over that I'm surely going to die, and as I said before, I almost think some of you wish it to prove that you're right--some people have that deep of a need to be right. How sad.

As for my daughter, we have spoken, she's just gotten distracted, her grades are fine b/c she gave me the password to the website that contains them, and I have no problem with her relationship with her father--just with her spending a lot more time and energy on him because he's less of a sure thing--but that's how it usually is with the non-custodial parent. Sheesh, you have a bad night and you get turned into the crazy cat lady. I think I'll go knit them little sweaters or something.

And just so you all know--in our family we allow each member to make their own health choices and we respect each other's choices. We may not do everything right, but for that I am ever grateful.
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